Wedding gift-who to make check out to?

[MooreBonds]

yep.
Our son's "gift basket" for cards was stolen, at a CHURCH reception. Advise wedding "planners" to keep the gift area manned at all times.

The tragic thing is, my son and wife had no idea WHOSE wedding cards were stolen (along with gift cards, cash, etc.). So no way to send thank yous. I imagine there are people out there who think they are quite rude not to have thanked them.

At least with a check as a gift, it would never have been cashed and might tip off the giver to a theft.

I would suggest that a simple "thank you" card would be sent to each couple/guest, saying "thank you for attending. Unfortunately, for those that graciously brought a card and placed it in the card box, the box was stolen during the reception, and we have no way of knowing who placed a card in the box."

 

[Danmar]

Generally we list both married names. Ie Mr and Mrs. Never been an issue. Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.

 

[Katiek]

I make it out to whichever partner I know better, and if it's to the bride, I use her maiden name. I'm afraid if I make it out to both, they may have an issue if they don't have a joint account.

 

[rayinpenn]

Hmmm I’m giving you money and you are worried about who the payees are on the check.. if you feel insulted please feel free to return it.

 

[travelover]

Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.

I solved the bulk problem by going to bills instead of coins.

 

[Meadbh]

Generally we list both married names. Ie Mr and Mrs. Never been an issue. Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.

I think we move in different circles!

 

[Bestwifeever]

I would suggest that a simple "thank you" card would be sent to each couple/guest, saying "thank you for attending. Unfortunately, for those that graciously brought a card and placed it in the card box, the box was stolen during the reception, and we have no way of knowing who placed a card in the box."

Definitely—people who put checks in the card box will want to stop payment on them.

The last three wedding gifts we sent from the couples’ registries were royally screwed up, so we will only send checks from now on, ahead of time, made out to the spouse whose side of the church we would sit on—if the bride, using her maiden name as she would receive the check before being married.

 

[Danmar]

I solved the bulk problem by going to bills instead of coins.

Gee. Never thought of that.

 

[travelover]

Gee. Never thought of that.

I know, not really that obvious.

 

[cbo111]

My nephew recently married in Oahu. We received an "E-Invite" from some website. It had a link to send a monitary gift. I fiddled with the site for about 15 minutes before realizing I was being compelled to join the website with my email address, user name, credit card info, etc. Needless to say, I sent them a check instead.

 

[Moemg]

We have a wedding coming up . I have sent several gifts to the bride -to -be ( Christmas, birthday , house warming ) and I have never received any thanks or even acknowledging the gift .I have briefly thought about giving a card for the wedding with a note enjoy our gift and include nothing just to see what would happen.

 

[brett]

Cash is king.

Who thinks newly weds care about whose name is on the cheque? As long as it is not a rubber everything is perfect.

Beats a toaster oven, questionable work of art, or any re-gifted item every day, all day long, hands down.

As any newly wed couple.

 

[Taxman59]

Years ago, my sister returned a Christmas check from my grandmother (with her married name) with a note that she kept her maiden name and wanted the check reissued. My Mother, who was handling my GM's affairs, was sorely tempted to not reissue the check. This was a topic of conversation at dinner for a few days while my Mother stewed about it!

 

[Meadbh]

Years ago, my sister returned a Christmas check from my grandmother (with her married name) with a note that she kept her maiden name and wanted the check reissued. My Mother, who was handling my GM's affairs, was sorely tempted to not reissue the check. This was a topic of conversation at dinner for a few days while my Mother stewed about it!

I would have returned the cheque too. Why should I accept a cheque made out to a person that is not me? If the grandmother chose to not reissue the cheque, I’m sure it would not cause a financial problem for the non-recipient. But being addressed by the wrong name is offensive. There is no reason to accept it.

 

[meierlde]

I would have returned the cheque too. Why should I accept a cheque made out to a person that is not me? If the grandmother chose to not reissue the cheque, I’m sure it would not cause a financial problem for the non-recipient. But being addressed by the wrong name is offensive. There is no reason to accept it.

I suppose the issue is how long had the couple been married at the time. Less than 6 months I would tend to say let it go, if the couple had sent thankyou notes for wedding gifts, how the notes were signed would provide information. Of course today how many bother.

 

[audreyh1]

Years ago, my sister returned a Christmas check from my grandmother (with her married name) with a note that she kept her maiden name and wanted the check reissued. My Mother, who was handling my GM's affairs, was sorely tempted to not reissue the check. This was a topic of conversation at dinner for a few days while my Mother stewed about it!

What was your sister supposed to do if she did not change her name?

Was that the real rub? That your sister did not change her name?

 

[Taxman59]

What was your sister supposed to do if she did not change her name?

Was that the real rub? That your sister did not change her name?

Sister was married in August, check was sent at Christmas the same year. This was how my Mother and Grandmother learned that she was planning to keep her name. Sister basically said "Why are you assuming that I am changing my name to his and not that he is changing his name to mine?" My sister was a firebrand at times, and I wondered what she was going to do about the name, but given their financial situation at the time, the $100 was a very necessary line item in the budget. In later years, she admitted that most people referred to them as Dr and Mrs (he was a PHD) and that their bank had no problem with checks made out to either her maiden name or his name.

 

[braumeister]

"Why are you assuming that I am changing my name to his and not that he is changing his name to mine?"

That certainly happens.
I used to w*rk with a guy who didn't like his birth surname and changed it to hers when he got married. The marriage didn't last, but he was happy with the name change and kept it.