Why are older Americans drinking so much

[USGrant1962]

How can we have our nightly Family Cocktail Hour without a Martini or Old Fashioned (and cashews)? TV off, Classical Music on.

And who says we're drinking too much anyway?! Mind your own damn business and get off my lawn!

I'm reading this sipping a fresh, authentic whiskey sour. Bourbon, real lemon juice, demerara simple syrup, egg white, spray from a lemon twist and 3 drops of ango on the foam. Been hankerin' one for a week and finally got all the stuff out to do it.

 

[aja8888]

Haha......

We discussed this topic at the ROMEO meeting this morning. Some insights came from the group of men over 70 years old and mostly still married. Some of which are multi-millionaires and do a fair share of drinking (social,of course).

Some thoughtful reasons for excessive drinking at an advanced age:

1. You still are married for a long time, but don't *like* your spouse that much anymore (the feeling is suspected to be mutual).

2. It fills the day...and evening.

3. Your grandkids have forgotten who you are.

4. Your grandkids and kids don't visit anymore.

5. Your wife's spending habits have increased directly in proportion with her decrease in desire for sex.

6. Everything in your body hurts anymore.

7. Your circle of friends is getting smaller.

5. Everything is getting smaller.




(there were more resons, of course)

 

[Amethyst]

In sum, loneliness and boredom.

We discussed this topic at the ROMEO meeting this morning. Some insights came from the group of men over 70 years old and mostly still married. Some of which are multi-millionaires and do a fair share of drinking (social,of course).

Some thoughtful reasons for excessive drinking at an advanced age:

1. You still are married for a long time, but don't *like* your spouse that much anymore (the feeling is suspected to be mutual).

2. It fills the day...and evening.

3. Your grandkids have forgotten who you are.

4. Your grandkids and kids don't visit anymore.

5. Your wife's spending habits have increased directly in proportion with her decrease in desire for sex.

6. Everything in your body hurts anymore.

7. Your circle of friends is getting smaller.

5. Everything is getting smaller.




(there were more resons, of course)

 

[Hank]

I just don't enjoy it as much as when I was younger. If I have a few drinks in one day I won't have any for a month or two. I never drink two days in a row.

 

[Hank]

I'm reading this sipping a fresh, authentic whiskey sour. Bourbon, real lemon juice, demerara simple syrup, egg white, spray from a lemon twist and 3 drops of ango on the foam. Been hankerin' one for a week and finally got all the stuff out to do it.

I did the same thing last year when out of the blue I started to crave a Manhattan. I bought fancy cherries and everything. It was great.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Sleeping decently can be a real problem in the senior years and any alcohol at all makes the problem worse for some seniors. While initially you may fall asleep quickly but staying asleep is an entirely different matter. Now that I am older it just makes me tired.

AJ, your friends comments are really sad. They are using alcohol to fill an emotional void.

 

[aja8888]

AJ, your friends comments are really sad. They are using alcohol to fill an emotional void.

I think you will find a lot of senior marriages (long term) are pretty lonely for both partners. Most people won't admit it.

Drinking makes it worse.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think you will find a lot of senior marriages (long term) are pretty lonely for both partners. Most people won't admit it.

Drinking makes it worse.

3 years ago when I posted here about divorcing my husband I was surprised at what many here had to say about their marriages. Not many people were actually happy.

 

[youbet]

3 years ago when I posted here about divorcing my husband I was surprised at what many here had to say about their marriages. Not many people were actually happy.

I suppose that a thread about a divorce would attract more unhappy marriage-related comments than a thread started by someone celebrating their 50th anniversary and being very, very happy in their marriage.

Just for balance, DW and I recently celebrated our 54th and are now in our mid 70's and happy/grateful to have each other.

Your post-divorce submissions generally seem upbeat and I'm happy for that!

 

[-Jackson-]

I was with alcoholic parents until I left home at 17. I buried Dad when he was 62 and he was going through a quart of vodka a day (that I know of). Mom died at 83 only because a stroke at 62 made her forget to start drinking again.

I was well on my way in their shoes until one day I woke up and decided I had it. That was 15 years ago. Now my drink of choice is caffeine free Diet Coke.

My dad was similar to what you described. An alcoholic as long as I can remember. As a kid, I remember him coming home with a new fifth of vodka more days than not. He died last month in his late 60's. His health had been declining pretty significantly due to the alcohol for a decade. It got to the point where he could not care for himself over the past 3 or 4 years. My mom carried the bulk of that burden until he was put on home hospice care.

I have never drank any alcohol partly due to growing up watching him. I doubt I'll start in retirement.

 

[GenXguy]

3 years ago when I posted here about divorcing my husband I was surprised at what many here had to say about their marriages. Not many people were actually happy.

Yeah, that seems to be the case with so many marriages. And on this forum, you would think it would be better than average since financial difficulties are often a factor, and those on this forum tend to be doing better and able to retire early. So many people just put on a front, just like with social media where they are portraying their lives as just wonderful, despite the reality.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Yeah, that seems to be the case with so many marriages. And on this forum, you would think it would be better than average since financial difficulties are often a factor, and those on this forum tend to be doing better and able to retire early. So many people just put on a front, just like with social media where they are portraying their lives as just wonderful, despite the reality.

I’m starting to think that because people live so much longer than in the past that it’s hard to love someone and be happy for 50-60 years. Two of my 3 marriages were 23 years each so that must be my expiration date for relationships). If people are miserable and lonely I can understand why it leads to unhealthy drinking habits.

Youbet, I’m glad that you are in a happy marriage and that everything is going well. That’s a great way to spend retirement! I’m happy and doing well also.

 

[Major Tom]

Happiness is an odd concept. I'm not exactly sure what it is. As a goal, it doesn't work for me, because I think it comes about as a result of doing other things. More important than happiness, to me, is engagement. I am engaged in my life. I like my life. Overall, I am content. Sometimes I feel happy, occasionally I feel wistful, other times I feel a bit impatient. I get angry from time to time but thankfully, not often. Once in a while, I feel elation. I could name a hundred other emotions; some subtle, others not so much. Most of them are fun to experience.

But happy? What is that? I am alive. It's fun being alive and, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, so much more compelling than the alternative.

As for the marriage thing, I am not married. I am, however, terribly fond of my cat.

 

[rk911]

I suppose that a thread about a divorce would attract more unhappy marriage-related comments than a thread started by someone celebrating their 50th anniversary and being very, very happy in their marriage.

Just for balance, DW and I recently celebrated our 54th and are now in our mid 70's and happy/grateful to have each other.

Your post-divorce submissions generally seem upbeat and I'm happy for that!

Donna and I also happily celebrated 54-years of marriage (56-years together if you count high school!). We are devoted to each other and still very much in love. I can't imagine life without her and I'm certain she feels the same. We are 73 and 72.

 

[bloom2708]

Survivorship bias too. All the dead people who drank too much and got cancer or cirrosis of the liver or etc etc don't post much.

Some smoke for 70 years or drink too much for 70 years and live long lives.

At least information is leaking out that the optimal amount of alkohol to drink is none. The old "1 or 2 drinks per day is healthy" is dead. Unless you have 1-2 drinks per day and are "healthy".

Complicated world.

 

[brett]

A family physician friend of our commented recently about a trend that she and her colleagues are experiencing with an increasing number of senior patients.

Simply put...lying. Being less than honest about their alcohol intake, their diets/eating habits, smoking habits, and any drug issue that they may have. For others who are more straighforward it is all about excuses.

It becomes difficult for them to counsel or help some of those patients who are either in a state of denial or do not seem to care enough to modify their behaviours.

Yet they still expect their physican to treat health issues resulting from those actions while still continuing down the same path. And they are often the patients that consume the most amount of time and resources.

Our BIL was advised to reduce or eliminate alchohol consumption for health reasons. So he eliminated it.

My sister, his spouse, was advised to alter her diet and intake. No changes other than in her immagination. So she continues to experience the health challenges of a senior who is carrying around 100lbs or more of weight than she should be yet she expects her medical team to resolve her health and physical mobility issues. That expectation is somewhat of a mystery to me.

 

[jollystomper]

I suppose that a thread about a divorce would attract more unhappy marriage-related comments than a thread started by someone celebrating their 50th anniversary and being very, very happy in their marriage.

Just for balance, DW and I recently celebrated our 54th and are now in our mid 70's and happy/grateful to have each other.

Your post-divorce submissions generally seem upbeat and I'm happy for that!

+1

DW and I have been married 40+ years. We are very grateful to have each other, do not take each other for granted as neither of us will live forever, and enjoy being around each other, if you know what I mean .


Maybe we need a "tell us about your happy marriage" thread .

In terms of drinking, we both did not drink at all before college. In college,the drinking age was 18, so access to liquor was easy... but (a) I never developed a taste for beer, and (b) I quickly saw how people not only changed when they drank a lot, but then tried to use it as an excuse for their behavior. I was always about being in control of myself. If I went to a party that had wine I would have 1, or maybe 2 glasses of wine, or a single drink. No drinking outside of those situations. When I DJ'ed parties I did not drink at all (some folks tried to pay me via "you can have free drinks", no thanks ).

DW started to drink more, until I got her out of a situation where she was drinking with a couple of guys and I figured they were up to no good. It is a long story, at first she refused to date me anymore as being too "strait-laced", until several of her friends pointed out, once she was sober, than I was protecting her.

After we married we did not keep alcohol in the house (expect occasionally for cooking), particularly while we were raising our kids. When we were able to get away for date vacations we would have a drink at dinner, or at a dance club. We saw it as a treat, and were careful, particularly as DW gets a little buzzed after one glass of wine (which could be fun at times ).

Being retired and with an empty nest, our alcohol consumption is low and streaky. We are both concerned about the health impact. But, like candy, we like to indulge once in a while. Last year we spent a little more than $100 on alcohol, 2/3 of that was for cooking. We probably average less than a drink a week, and never 2 days in a row. Half the time that drink is spread out - for example, I might spice up an evening smoothie with 2 oz of wine, or add 2 oz of irish creme as an ice cream topping.

For me, there is no appeal for sitting around drinking just for the sake of drinking. When we do drink we tie it in with some activity - e.g. at home playing a game or dancing. Am I am VERY strict about me not drinking at all of we are on a date night or socializing at friends home - Since those college days I have chosen to be "above suspicion" when driving, and have often ended up being the designated driver and "drink police" when going out with friends. I do not mind DW drinking when we socialize, she know her limits and feels safe with me around.

I think our overall approach is to proceed with extreme caution... as I said, we view it an an occasional treat, and in retirement our consumption may have gone up relative to our earlier years, but mainly because we have time for more regular and date vacations .

 

[athena53]

A family physician friend of our commented recently about a trend that she and her colleagues are experiencing with an increasing number of senior patients.

Simply put...lying. Being less than honest about their alcohol intake, their diets/eating habits, smoking habits, and any drug issue that they may have. For others who are more straightforward it is all about excuses.

I think that's always been true. I read somewhere that docs typically double whatever amount of alcohol their patients claim to consume. That's why I tell mine, "I have 2 oz. of scotch every night and I measure it". That way they know I'm not filling a tumbler full of scotch, throwing in an ice cube and calling it "one drink".

 

[Jerry1]

I never lie to my doctor. Why pay a professional to help you and give them false information to work with? Doesn’t make any sense.

Alcohol is an interesting thing though. When they ask you in multiple choice form how much you drink, “occasionally” never seems to be one of the answers. It’s usually framed in drinks per week. When drinking, I’d classify my drinking in drinks per month - many times not having any alcohol in a particular month. It’s almost as if the assumption is that if you drink, you drink frequently. I didn’t.

 

[Qs Laptop]

When I was diagnosed with Afib in March 2015 and up until my cardio ablation procedure in April 2022 to fix it, I drank zero alcohol.

Prior to March 2015 I would drink a 12 pack of 16 oz. beer on the weekends, sometimes a bit more. No wine, no booze (maybe an occasional margarita with mexican food.) I did like my beer.

Since the ablation procedure I have had 3 cans of beer. I have tasted an ounce or two of microbrews on three occasions. That's it. Do not miss it at all.

 

[Car-Guy]

I never lie to my doctor. Why pay a professional to help you and give them false information to work with? Doesn’t make any sense.

Alcohol is an interesting thing though. When they ask you in multiple choice form how much you drink, “occasionally” never seems to be one of the answers. It’s usually framed in drinks per week. When drinking, I’d classify my drinking in drinks per month - many times not having any alcohol in a particular month. It’s almost as if the assumption is that if you drink, you drink frequently. I didn’t.

Same here. The questionnaire doesn't have any granularity. I drink a beer a ~week these days and my files says I drink. Same with smoking, I quit ~40 years ago but it says I'm a smoker. At worse it should say something like light drinker and former smoker.

 

[brett]

I think that's always been true. I read somewhere that docs typically double whatever amount of alcohol their patients claim to consume. That's why I tell mine, "I have 2 oz. of scotch every night and I measure it". That way they know I'm not filling a tumbler full of scotch, throwing in an ice cube and calling it "one drink".

Ditto. I was very clear and that was the clarity that she wanted. Two bottles of red plonk each week. If by chance it is over 5 or 6 days for whatever reason I pass on a few days. And sometimes longer for various reasons.

Misrepresenting the truth to health professionals, accountants, and lawyers is a mugs game. You are only fooling yourself at best, and in some instances hurting yourself.

 

[38Chevy454]

Just checking: if I delay SS does that mean I have more money for drinking as older?

Back to serious, I have seen examples of excessive drinking by retirees that has caused problems. Both medically and socially. I will be at a social event and may start out with 2-3 beers, but then switch to diet coke. It's easy for me to see how some people's drinking can accelerate as the night goes on. Not just the effect of alcohol, but the rate at which they are drinking.

DW's family were much bigger drinkers than my family. Which seems to roll over into the use of alcohol by DW siblings vs my siblings. I do believe there is a hereditary factor that makes some people more susceptible to alcohol effects and frequency of drinking alcohol.

 

[marko]

On second thought, my job required a lot more drinking than I do now. Macallan 25 and the company is picking up the tab? Make it a double! Cain Five? Bring three bottles!

This was a weekly event and sometimes more.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I think that's always been true. I read somewhere that docs typically double whatever amount of alcohol their patients claim to consume. That's why I tell mine, "I have 2 oz. of scotch every night and I measure it". That way they know I'm not filling a tumbler full of scotch, throwing in an ice cube and calling it "one drink".

Ummm….

…
I have one ounce of scotch every night and I measure it. Honestly, I LIKE alcohol and I don't ever want a doctor to tell me I have to quit so I exercise moderation.

(Just having fun here—might want to edit one of these posts)