A morning meditation on "exceeding your limits"

[Pellice]

Long, philosophical ramble.

You know how Google news feed sometimes sends you along unaccustomed paths depending on your clicks? Well, somehow I wound up on the receiving end of a lot of articles about climbing the Himalayan giants - I am now familiar with the names Gasherbrum, Broad Peak, K2, as well as Everest.

This despite the fact I am afraid of heights, dislike the cold, do not have enough money for climbing, do not particularly like barren, windswept landscapes, and am not in any kind of shape or training to ascend tall mountains. In fact, I will never climb a Himalayan peak.

I keep clicking, though, because I find the motivations and rationales of the adventurers who do fascinating. One trope that keeps recurring is "exceeding my limits." Again and again an adventurer brings this up, and the phrase apparently holds tremendous meaning for him or her. In fact the climbers (and others) keep pushing their limits further - climbing without oxygen, climbing with no attendants, climbing in one swift ascent, skiing back downhill. And the same rationale applies to many other situations, adventurous or not. Run a half-marathon. Run a whole marathon. Run an ultra-marathon. Leave security behind and take a chance on a whole new business or life. There are many testimonies as to how "exceeding one's limits" has led to tremendous achievements and personal growth.

But the concept is not for me. I turn the phrase over in my mind, and find no appeal, no end result that calls to me. The question that always comes up for me is "to what end?" I do have goals - but they never involve "exceeding my limits." Instead, I find myself gradually drawing closer to a different concept (or is it?), that of "trusting myself." I used to think I had to force myself to exercise, or adopt a certain way of eating, or follow certain habits of social interaction or push myself towards certain waypoints to achieve business success.

I have been recovering from a bad cold. I didn't exercise and instead told myself every day, "resume exercising when you want to." Finally, with very little effort, it felt right to start again. I took it very easy. And the next time added a few more minutes, but again keeping it easy. Very, very soon, back to the regular schedule. I trusted myself to start exercising again. I trust myself to socialize at will, without telling myself "to get out there and attend that party." I trust the goals I set even if they don't involve finding my new limits.

This is not to say that one approach is superior to another. I remain intrigued by the concept of "exceeding one's limits." In fact I think for many people the two concepts, "exceeding one's limits" and "trusting oneself" are one and the same. Somewhere I read this quote:

for example, if you were rock climbing and the next piece to grab was too far away, do you give up, or try with all your might to get there? To trust yourself in that situation would be to try and get to the next step higher and trust yourself to get there.

To me, that example epitomizes NOT trusting oneself. And again I find myself asking "to what end?" But I think the gravitational pull of "exceeding one's limits" sweeps most other concepts into itself. I am in the minority.

Any other thoughts on this? Are the two concepts the same in your minds?

 

[audreyh1]

Nice essay.

I no longer push myself hard, yet I still accomplish plenty. Definitely trust myself more.

 

[Retire52]

Maybe the mountain climbers are of both camps. The Free Solo climber, *Alex Honnold, certainly stretched himself to climb El Capitan without a rope but he had a profound trust in his abilities.

I like both as well, I find my the stretch moments make the most indelible memories and give the most satisfaction. On the other hand, I will have lugged enough ropes and safety nets with me up El Capitan to make the attempt laughable.

 

[Ronstar]

"to what end". I've been thinking of that a lot the past several months. Thought I'd like to run another marathon and have medicare pick up the tab for the damages. But I came to my senses on "to what end" and "exceeding my limits". Why risk injury training 10 months for something that will take only 4-5 hrs and is something that I've already done.

I'm glad that I'm starting to evaluate things from a "to what end" and "exceeding your limits" mentality. Everything that I've planned to do in the future should be relatively safe and within my limits.

 

[sengsational]

The terminology of "exceeding your limits" doesn't appeal to me as much as other ways of expressing a similar idea. For me, that phrase rings a bit higher on the external/internal scale. In other words, making the stretch not for one's self, internally, but instead to show the world how much of a stretch you made.


I absolutely believe in placing one's self in situations where there are likely to be travails. This, I believe, allows for a more resilient person, and I think that makes for a more fulfilled person. When a problem situation arises, if it's treated as a challenge to see how well you can manage it without going off the rails, that's like raising the bar-bell. If one does that over and over, they can expect that when the 'really bad thing' is encountered, they can handle it more gracefully. I sometimes think that this is at least one reason why I like to travel. There will be unexpected things. When I remind myself of past trips, I often smile at unexpected things (problems) that seemed big at the time, but on reflection, realize that they were just small bump in the road. That makes the next unexpected thing 'no big deal'.

 

[CRLLS]

I've been away from mega-corp for over 10 years. Yet this sounds a lot like "stretch goals" to me. Pushing myself physically, beyond what previously was my limit does not appeal to me in the slightest, especially if it includes great physical risk. I've been away from mega-corp for over 10 years. Yet this sounds a lot like "stretch goals" to me. Yet I still take on mental challenges. I attempt to learn new skills. And I try to do new things. I think that is enough. That physical stuff I leave to those who think they are immortal and will live forever, no matter what.

 

[rayinpenn]

I’ll be out walking this afternoon- my loop takes me one hour and ten minutes. It is a sufficient challenge for this guy. After I’m done Ill get a huge satisfaction that i did it. I only skip the walk if its raining. It cost nothing more then a new pair of sneakers every couple of months..

I know and am comfortable with my limits.

 

[Amethyst]

For whatever reason, I always felt I had to push harder and try to overachieve, no matter how uncomfortable it made me. To some extent, I think I was raised to feel as if seeking comfort were a moral failing.

A couple of goals came very easy, while the rest eluded me. Still other goals were achieved, but at a cost which seemed awfully high compared with others' experience doing the same thing. I wasn't trying to climb Everest in reality, but at times it felt as if I were trying to do it metaphorically. There were some physical problems. By about 50, I decided that overachieving was for the birds. Now, I'm content to do my best and be done with it.

 

[HFWR]

Not much of a daredevil...

Recently read (somewhere) a story about the traffic jams on Everest, including having to step over dead bodies of inexperienced climbers, who ran low on oxygen, etc.

I suppose it’s good that some are willing to climb Everest, or go cave diving, or free-climbing, or base jumping. But most of us normal folk would be better off watching on TV...

 

[RunningBum]

Certainly no wrong answer. I don't believe in pushing one's limits unless there is enjoyment or benefit of it.

I have pushed my limits when running, both in distance and time. Mostly it's because I enjoy running, it's generally good for my health (though it's debatable to the extent I've pushed myself at times), plus some camaraderie and competition with friends. Now my goal is to maintain and continue running marathons and 50K but probably no longer. I'd like to re-qualify for the Boston marathon, which is done with an age graded time. I'd also like to hit 100 marathons/ultras. I'm a little over half way, and I believe I can do it, but if that gets to be too much I'll toss that goal aside.

I know some will say the pounding from running will take it's toll someday. That's not a given. Not everyone's body breaks down from running. I had knee surgery from a ski accident and the surgeon said that other than the injury damage my knee looked great. Motion is lotion. And keeping fit with my weight down helps put less stress on the joints.

I used to like to push myself on skiing, going on steeper runs, moguls, and trees. Now I'm more content to know my limits and not endanger myself going beyond them.

 

[Markola]

A morning meditation on "exceeding your limits"

Interesting topic. Daredevils seem to me on a quest to keep the adrenaline and dopamine “hits” outrunning the cortisol. How else to explain the irrational risks that come with base jumping, for example?

 

[misshathaway]

Thought I'd like to run another marathon and have medicare pick up the tab for the damages.

 

[W2R]

I am no daredevil and the idea of expecting myself to grossly exceed my limits has zero appeal to me. You will never read about me climbing El Capitan or Everest either with or without ropes and the proper gear, running a marathon, or blithely walking a tight rope between two highrise buildings hundreds of feet in the air. I value my life and health too much to attempt anything this extreme.

However, when I can do it safely, I love exploring where the edges of my limits may be and pushing those edges back very, very slightly.

This is especially fun to do when considering the limits of my knowledge. Sitting here with my browser fired up, I have much of what is known to humanity right here in front of me and can learn something new every day.

I suppose it’s good that some are willing to climb Everest, or go cave diving, or free-climbing, or base jumping. But most of us normal folk would be better off watching on TV...

I went cave diving often in my twenties in Hawaii, and free-climbing when I was in my teens and dating a rock climber. At the time I didn't think of those as being so dangerous, but now that I look back on my youth, well, maybe....
I wouldn't do those things now.

 

[Tekward]

I'd place myself firmly between the "stretch goals" and "exceeding limits" mind sets. I always try to improve and be better, but limits remind me of red zone RPMs. The risk/reward ratio tilts away from being reasonable about my other priorities.

 

[Souschef]

Ronstar's comment about "to what end" was something my late wife used to say to me when i thought about doing something.
He other favorite comment was , " When a man says, a man got to do what a mans got to do, he is about to do something stupid". Her comment kept me from doing some stupid things.

 

[Born2BRetd]

I think a lot of this depends on inborn temperament and age. People take more risks when they are young and become more conservative as they age. I have always been more of a tortoise than a hare and found out at a pretty young age that extreme competition wasn't my thing (think boot camp style workout).

Some people need external challenges and external proof of their achievements. Others don't particularly want or need external challenges or proof of their achievements.

I walk every day and don't need to know how many steps or how many miles. I just enjoy it and do it. Others need the validation of steps or other marker to keep them on track.

 

[HFWR]

My stretch goal is to not spend eternity in the frozen food section atop Everest...

 

[RobbieB]

I'll stick with my motorcycles, danger and excitement enough.

 

[aja8888]

After my second hip implant, I'm not much on pushing the limits going forward. I's stick to my walking 10,000 steps per day program.

 

[Dtail]

The only thing I am pushing myself right now is to get better at Pickleball. Even then, not entering any stressful type tournaments.

 

[Pellice]

Thanks for all the interesting comments! One note - to me, this discussion isn't about a binary of safety/risk, though those concerns may be involved. Many times the the limits we come up against are perfectly safe, bodywise. But to our minds and emotions, a different matter, but probably just as valid. And time is a dimension too - we react differently at different times. Payoffs change.

No one right approach, but it's interesting to see the issue from different perspectives.

 

[RunningBum]

^^
I get that, Pellice. The more running races I run, or maybe it's the older I get, it seems the less I can "dig deep" to run as hard as I can for whatever distance I'm doing.

 

[dixonge]

I'll stick with my motorcycles, danger and excitement enough.

We only actively rode for a few years, but after 20,000 miles each (wife had her own bike) when we eventually sold the bikes it felt like a good place to stop. We had a lot of fun, we didn't die. No need to push it farther (for us).

 

[dixonge]

re: exceeding limits - reminds me of something I read recently about Dean Karnazes. *this guy*...

The Perfect Human

 

[HFWR]

^^^^ nuts! ^^^^