Cougars???

Biggest age difference I was ever involved in was me in my late teens (18 and 19) dating 2 guys in their early 30s. Um, not at the same time for the benefit of my fellow gutterminds. ;)
I was always more mature than my chronological years, so actually both were a good fit.
I never dated a man my own age again...
until...<drum roll>...
dh2b is 16 months younger. But he acted a lot older so I didn't realize.
My personal mission is to get him to act like a kid more often. :LOL:
 
I always have balked at that philosophy that seems most popular: men must be at least older than the woman. Why? I just don't get what that does for the man's ego, which is what it is based on. Can some guy explain that to me?
It's noticeable if you stroll thru the personal ads, too, because you have 60 year old guys asking for women who are 45, for example, and it happens over and over and over. By 60, I would hope, a man is more secure than that. What's with the age thing with guys?
Happily, times have changed some and it is not uncommon for older women--long ignored by the older men their age--going for the younger men and the younger men going for the older women. Of course, you will occasionally get some older women who will intentionally embarrass the older woman by saying, "...and what would your son like to eat?" But that might just be their own hang-up or even jealousy.
As for me, I want someone my own age or thereabouts, but my girlfriends who are married say go for a guy 5-7 years younger so we age at the same rate (figuring men die earlier than women the same age).
I did have one girlfriend who married a guy from her daughter's high school class. She had some premature aging and he looked his age, but together they looked totally like mother and son (not good). They stayed married for 15 years--just as long as she totally supported him financially! Yeah, that would happen with me...not. Some women are either desperate or just plain stupid (even with her law degree), but it do take all kinds to make a world.
 
RonBoyd said:
Rethinking the Older Woman-Younger Man Relationship
Click to expand...
from the article...
"the authors found that women liked the vitality the younger man brought into their lives, and men liked the maturity and confidence in the women"
And I'm going to behave this time..from my own real life experience...when I found myself involuntarily single at age 46, there were very few single men in the same age or just slightly older group. It's just the way it happens in remote areas.
"All the good ones are taken" and all that jazz. :rolleyes:
I had a few younger guys making the moves. ;) I never ruled out a younger guy because of their age. :whistle:
 
Well, freebird...it looks like you and I were on same wave length back in the day. :flowers:

If I dated a man twice my age now, he'd have to be 102. :LOL:
 
Orchidflower said:
I always have balked at that philosophy that seems most popular: men must be at least older than the woman. Why? I just don't get what that does for the man's ego, which is what it is based on. Can some guy explain that to me?
Click to expand...

I think it is kind of a societal norm that goes back a few generations. Russia is an interesting example. It is NOT uncommon at ALL for a 20 year old woman to marry a 50 year old man, it happens all the time, from what I understand......

It's noticeable if you stroll thru the personal ads, too, because you have 60 year old guys asking for women who are 45, for example, and it happens over and over and over. By 60, I would hope, a man is more secure than that. What's with the age thing with guys?
Click to expand...

A lot of those guys are probably recently divorced, and don't want another woman the same age as their ex, figuring that all woman that age have issues.......:) More likely, he wants to know he still "has the mojo"........:LOL:

I did have one girlfriend who married a guy from her daughter's high school class. She had some premature aging and he looked his age, but together they looked totally like mother and son (not good). They stayed married for 15 years--just as long as she totally supported him financially! Yeah, that would happen with me...not. Some women are either desperate or just plain stupid (even with her law degree), but it do take all kinds to make a world.
Click to expand...

Why does that make your friend desperate or stupid? Obviously they made it work for 15 years.........maybe the companionship made her feel younger..........;)
 
A number of women I know or work with say they (in their 30s and 40s) are attracted to older men (50s and 60s), assuming they are fit and active, of course. They deny it's about the money and say it's because we're finally controlling our rutting instincts, are more mature, etc.

A disporportionate number who feel that way are from South America and western Europe.
 
bbbamI said:
Well, freebird...it looks like you and I were on same wave length back in the day. :flowers:

If I dated a man twice my age now, he'd have to be 102. :LOL:
Click to expand...
Good thing we didn't grow up together. Oh my myyyyyyyyyy :cool:

I had a more mature guy flirting with me in the doc's office last week. I'll guess he was in his mid 60s.
He and I were the only ones in the waiting room for about half an hour.
I got silly and said "Well looks like we have the whole place to ourselves, doesn't it?"
I made this guy's day. He said goodbye VERY nicely when I came back out of the visit. Harmless flirting keeps us all young! :D
 
Orchidflower said:
I always have balked at that philosophy that seems most popular: men must be at least older than the woman. Why? I just don't get what that does for the man's ego, which is what it is based on. Can some guy explain that to me?
It's noticeable if you stroll thru the personal ads, too, because you have 60 year old guys asking for women who are 45, for example, and it happens over and over and over. By 60, I would hope, a man is more secure than that. What's with the age thing with guys?
Happily, times have changed some and it is not uncommon for older women--long ignored by the older men their age--going for the younger men and the younger men going for the older women. Of course, you will occasionally get some older women who will intentionally embarrass the older woman by saying, "...and what would your son like to eat?" But that might just be their own hang-up or even jealousy.
As for me, I want someone my own age or thereabouts, but my girlfriends who are married say go for a guy 5-7 years younger so we age at the same rate (figuring men die earlier than women the same age).
I did have one girlfriend who married a guy from her daughter's high school class. She had some premature aging and he looked his age, but together they looked totally like mother and son (not good). They stayed married for 15 years--just as long as she totally supported him financially! Yeah, that would happen with me...not. Some women are either desperate or just plain stupid (even with her law degree), but it do take all kinds to make a world.
Click to expand...


It's not just the men in the personals.... when I was looking.. there were plenty of women who would put down the age the wanted at about 5 years younger to their age.. I would say less than half of the women had an age request that was more than 2 years older than they were...

One of the downsides of this age difference relationship... I have seen this one that dates younger guys... who do not have money... and are not interested in a 'relationship'.... all the guy wants is sex (well, one of the guys also wanted money).. and the 'cougar' is willing to do it because it makes them feel 'wanted' or 'needed'... I say they are being used... SOO, the guy moves on after awhile and the gal is 'devestated'... until she goes to the bar and finds another, thinking this time it will work...
 
DW is 2 1/2 yrs older than I, just below cougarhood? It is a natural fit for as as we came of age politically, socially & artistically in the same years. She looks quite young, when we ask for senior admission to movies & the like people always think it is for me & not her. Since women tend to live longer (is it 7 yrs avg?) it makes sense for the woman to be a bit older.
 
Rich_in_Tampa said:
A number of women I know or work with say they (in their 30s and 40s) are attracted to older men (50s and 60s), assuming they are fit and active, of course. They deny it's about the money and say it's because we're finally controlling our rutting instincts, are more mature, etc.

A disporportionate number who feel that way are from South America and western Europe.
Click to expand...

I really get what they are saying. When I was 20 maybe 1 thought out of 10 wasn't about sex. The ratio has improved with age and opened space for deeper relationships. But it is my observation that interest in sex (or at least acting on it) decreases with age in both sexes so maybe a 60 yr old male & 40 yr old female would be a good match from that particular perspective.
 
I understand that a woman younger than 35 who prefers younger men is called a Bobcat. Just so everyone is up on the vocabulary of this new science.
 
freebird5825 said:
I got silly and said "Well looks like we have the whole place to ourselves, doesn't it?"
Click to expand...

Nice guy, but an amateur. My response would have been: "How about we REALLY go to a place by ourselves"........:cool::LOL:

My uncles' favorite "line": "Let's go into a dark room, and see what develops"...........:nonono::LOL:
 
Bestwifeever said:
I understand that a woman younger than 35 who prefers younger men is called a Bobcat. Just so everyone is up on the vocabulary of this new science.
Click to expand...

Learn something new everyday! Wow this place has a plethora of provocative publications.
 
Notmuchlonger said:
Learn something new everyday! Wow this place has a plethora of provocative publications.
Click to expand...

Darn, I thought a Bobcat was used for excavating dirt and doing landscaping...shows what I know........:whistle:
 
yakers said:
When I was 20 maybe 1 thought out of 10 wasn't about sex. The ratio has improved with age and opened space for deeper relationships. But it is my observation that interest in sex (or at least acting on it) decreases with age in both sexes so maybe a 60 yr old male & 40 yr old female would be a good match from that particular perspective.
Click to expand...

Are you sure your observations were related to AGE and not MARRIAGE?? :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
yakers said:
I really get what they are saying. When I was 20 maybe 1 thought out of 10 wasn't about sex. The ratio has improved with age and opened space for deeper relationships. But it is my observation that interest in sex (or at least acting on it) decreases with age in both sexes so maybe a 60 yr old male & 40 yr old female would be a good match from that particular perspective.
Click to expand...
10 for 10 about sex in younger years ! :LOL:
My feeling about sex has always been...when you fill out a form that has two boxes labeled "M" and "F", I keep looking for the "Y" box. I've made more than 1 paperw*rk receiving clerk blush with that one.
Still a wild woman at 51. Poor dh2b. :rolleyes:
 
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