Engagement rings - Ladies especially reply please

[cute fuzzy bunny]

And don't forget to spend at least 3 months pay on the ring!

Thats where this whole ER thing really starts paying benefits. No pay.

 

[Goonie]

When we got engaged, we went shopping for the ring after the proposal. She picked out a beaut!!! It cost an arm and several inches of lower leg.

When we put the kabosh on the engagement....we got DIS-engaged....she offered to give the ring back. I gladly accepted it, and turned around and sold it THAT day for what I had forked over for it!!! (I was told later by mutual friends that the only reason she offered to give it back, was because she was sure I would decline......WRONG!!! )

Selling it off has helped with my plans to FIRE!!!

 

[Khan]

My sister never had an engagement ring, and used the same plain gold band for both weddings.

 

[Nords]

When we put the kabosh on the engagement....we got DIS-engaged....she offered to give the ring back.

When my mother died, my father offered my wife (his only daughter-in-law) first pick from my mother's jewelry box.

We found three engagement rings in addition to the one given to her by my father.

We're still trying to figure out the story... her older sister ain't talking...

 

[Sheryl]

Hmmm, It really depends on the woman. If she is the type that finds fashion important I'd let her pick it. Clues: Does she have to have "this season's" everything, shoes to go with every outfit, etc.

If she's the romantic type, she'll be totally thrilled that you picked it out for her, and love it because you picked it, even if its the ugliest thing on the planet.

If you're planning on marrying her, hopefully you can figure out the difference!!

 

[FinanceDude]

What Khan said. Diamonds are worthless once you buy them -- better to get CZ since nobody can tell the difference anyway.

Can't believe a WOMAN said that................

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Its a trick.

Just like when my wife says "Oh, you dont have to get me flowers for valentines day, they'll only last a few days anyway".

We're being tested.

 

[Patrick]

Don't be fooled. Jewelers can tell if it's CZ. And the first thing your girlfriend will do is take the ring to a jeweler to have it appraised. Then you'll be BUSTED! Just bite the bullet and buy a real diamond up front.

 

[laurence]

Unless she is in on the decision. DW and I are going to get her 1 carat CZ or something equivalent earings for nights on the town - why spend 2 grand for two nights a year?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

And the first thing your girlfriend will do is take the ring to a jeweler to have it appraised.

Yep, when my dad taught at Tufts, he said the very first thing every female student did that received an engagement ring was get to a jeweler the next day for an appraisal.

So either buy a nice ring or bribe the jeweler(s) she's likely to go to see.

 

[Khan]

Its a trick.

Just like when my wife says "Oh, you dont have to get me flowers for valentines day, they'll only last a few days anyway".

We're being tested.

Rant:

How can there be communication in a relationship when the answer to a direct question is a lie?

How does one determine when the answer to a question is a lie and when it is not?

Yes I'm divorced, and this whole 'game' is a big reason why. I was developing health problems from trying to figure out how to behave and suppressing the anger at being criticised when guessing wrong.

It's games such as this that are the reason I retired early, and why I shall live alone for the rest of my life.

 

[laurence]

There are some out there who don't play. I think my happiness in marraige comes from the fact that "home" is where I can truly relax and be myself. My one quibble with DW is that it takes her some time to process what's bothering her before she can tell me.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Eh, you're supposed to know what your spouse wants and whats bothering them.

Its usually not that tough to figure out. Just sometimes people decide to play the game back at 'em.

Not a good idea.

 

[Sheryl]

Rant:

How can there be communication in a relationship when the answer to a direct question is a lie?

How does one determine when the answer to a question is a lie and when it is not?

I think there is a subtlety here that you "guys" are not getting. We may intellectually think that it is a waste of money to buy flowers, jewelery, etc. If asked we will say, no I won't be upset if you don't buy me flowers. But at least for me, I am touched and pleased if he goes ahead and does it anyway. But that's not a lie. If he DIDN'T do it, I wouldn't be upset.

OTOH, some have posted that the female of the couple really would be ticked off if he did it anyway. I guess the difference is, did she say "I won't be upset if you don't buy me flowers."? Or did she say, "Please don't buy flowers because its a waste of money and I want us to spend our money on more practical things?"

 

[sgeeeee]

. . . I guess the difference is, did she say "I won't be upset if you don't buy me flowers."? Or did she say, "Please don't buy flowers because its a waste of money and I want us to spend our money on more practical things?"

My DW told me on several occasions not to buy her flowers or jewelery. She protested when I used to do this and eventually convinced me she was serious and that this was not an effective way for me to demonstrate my feelings for her. She is not lying to me or putting up a phony protest. She would rather we spend money on other things.

There always seem to be people who don't believe this. Many men are convinced that all women want flowers and jewelery and anyone who says otherwise is simply too dense to understand what women really want. I've listened to men tell me that all women want to have babies, that all women love to shop, etc. for much of my adult life. My own feeling is that men who expect women to be that way find women who are. But maybe I'm just too dense to understand what women really want.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Ayuh.

 

[Sheryl]

There always seem to be people who don't believe this. Many men are convinced that all women want flowers and jewelery and anyone who says otherwise is simply too dense to understand what women really want. I've listened to men tell me that all women want to have babies, that all women love to shop, etc. for much of my adult life. My own feeling is that men who expect women to be that way find women who are. But maybe I'm just too dense to understand what women really want.

Au contraire - I think you have actually succeeded in deciphering at least a portion of what a woman is thinking.

Any man who assumes all women want the same thing is a dolt. IMHO. I have no interest in babies and very little in shopping. But of course I must be lying, since ALL woman want these things. ACK.

 

[HFWR]

I'd sooner explain black holes...

 

[Nords]

Any man who assumes all women want the same thing is a dolt. IMHO.

Well, we learned it from women who assume that all men want the same thing...

 

[Sheryl]

Well, we learned it from women who assume that all men want the same thing...

Well, that's different. Of course you all have one thing on your minds. Doesn't this forum prove it?

 

[Nords]

Well, that's different. Of course you all have one thing on your minds. Doesn't this forum prove it?

Eh, isn't it about time for you to go to Roatan??!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Yeah, you've got us there.

Although I've found as a rule that women like powerful men...although some like to have power over men. In some cases the power is expressed as money, but power does take on many forms.

We just wanna see what your panties look like.

 

[HFWR]

And maybe try them on...

 

[FinanceDude]

Well, that's different. Of course you all have one thing on your minds. Doesn't this forum prove it?

yes..........but, that being said.........if it's a male mantra............why don't women understand that we won't change and "help us" with out problem more??

 

[Sheryl]

Eh, isn't it about time for you to go to Roatan??!

Nah... I've got two more weeks of avoiding work, hanging around the ER forum and annoying as many people as possible.