Financial expectations of a God parent?

[brett]

We certainly would not distribute copies of our respective wills to our children or to anyone else. One remains with us, the other with our lawyer.

Nor would we distribute copies to anyone else.

 

[audreyh1]

I thought godparents were totally a religious relationship - there to help guide the child in the Church. Not a financial or not even a guardianship relationship.

 

[youbet]

In my church's tradition, a godparent is responsible for sponsoring their godchild's baptism and pledges to help with the child's religious upbringing. There is no financial expectation. Some people may name their children's godparents (or any other willing adult) as a guardian in the event of both parents' death, but that is a separate issue.

+1

And at the same time, there is absolutely no expectation that the godchildren will have any role in the godparent’s senior years when they may need help. Godchildren owe zero to godparents, not even an infrequent visit to the nursing home.

Today’s youth need to understand that we geezers have made our own bed and they owe us nothing.

 

[Sunset]

.....

One other comment, in my opinion, if you ever change your mind and re-do your will, make sure the latest one is iron-clad official and done through a lawyer, as I would expect her to challenge its validity - since she has a copy of the current one.

And maybe have the lawyer send a registered letter to her, stating the Will has been changed and the old one is now invalid and to destroy it. Just to set expectations there is a change. She will not be able to claim she honestly believes it the most recent Will.

 

[SecondAttempt]

You've all got me thinking back. My godparents were a minister (Lutheran if it matters) and his wife. Lutherans baptize as infants so I do not remember being baptized. This was in California. And even though they were pastor and wife, I have no memory of any religious involvement in my upbringing at all. I do remember knowing them though. They moved away when I was about 6 and I know very little about them after that except an incredible coincidence in college. A friend of mine in college in Arizona was from the place they moved to, Buffalo New York. He happened to be Lutheran although, like me, not very religious. But my godfather was the pastor of the church he grew up in we discovered.

Maybe I should contact my godfather and ask him why the heck he let me leave the church behind and failed to pay for my college!

 

[SecondAttempt]

And maybe have the lawyer send a registered letter to her, stating the Will has been changed and the old one is now invalid and to destroy it. Just to set expectations there is a change. She will not be able to claim she honestly believes it the most recent Will.

This is good advice not to be taken lightly. We had a neighbor for about 10 years who was quite old but still got out. She drove short distances and would walk her cat around the neighborhood. I would do simple things for her like fix her doorbell and that sort of thing. At one point we met a younger woman she had hired to help her around the house. We talked to the woman a few times over a couple of years and she seemed legit and simply working for her but also taking her to bingo etc. I tried to talk to the neighbor about what the woman did and how much she paid her and it did not seem unreasonable.

Then when the woman died, it got crazy. No suggestion the woman had anything to do with her death. I found her after she had been dead several days when I was checking on her. Of course the police got involved and there had to be an autopsy but it was determined to be a natural death from lung cancer. The woman never smoked but her husband had.

In the aftermath the companion made all kinds of claims including that she had been promised a lot in exchange for her employment. She had a will but it was almost 30 years old and named a lot of people who had died. I had to testify at a probate hearing about what my neighbor had told me. She had never mentioned anything about the woman inheriting anything but that did not mean it did not happen. The woman produced numerous witnesses that said their were promises. I honestly do not know what happened but it was an eyeopener. I suspect the companion got something.

 

[gauss]

Thanks taking the time to reply! We are not religious

This is an interesting point. Given what you said about your friend’s expectations of entitlement to your money, it‘s looking like that was the reason she chose you as a god parent. Normally you’d choose someone who IS religious to some extent, so they can fulfill the role of guiding the child’s religious upbringing. Sounds like that was not a consideration at all when your friend asked you to be the god parent for both her kids.

I was child-free for many years and I definitely got the vibe from some people like they looked at me as the custodian of a pile of $$ they would like to have funneled to their kids somehow. People start to think that way and then make opportunistic choices to help broker the outcome they want.

One other comment, in my opinion, if you ever change your mind and re-do your will, make sure the latest one is iron-clad official and done through a lawyer, as I would expect her to challenge its validity - since she has a copy of the current one.

+1 This was the interesting part of this thread and I was surprised that nobody commented until recently.

So did OP attend a religious ceremony where there was a public acknowledgment of the role, or was the godparent agreement done informally outside of any formal religious institution?

-gauss

 

[gauss]

In the aftermath the companion made all kinds of claims including that she had been promised a lot in exchange for her employment. She had a will but it was almost 30 years old and named a lot of people who had died. I had to testify at a probate hearing about what my neighbor had told me. She had never mentioned anything about the woman inheriting anything but that did not mean it did not happen. The woman produced numerous witnesses that said their were promises. I honestly do not know what happened but it was an eyeopener. I suspect the companion got something.

Hmm... I would have thought that if the assistant did not have a will that named her to receive something and the assistant was not blood-family then she would receive nothing.

But then again, if nobody else objects, maybe the Probate Court would allow it.

Good thought provoking example.

-gauss

 

[brett]

Do they still do Godparents?

Just looked at my original birth certificate (civil law). It is a copy of the church record book. When I was Christened my parents were listed of course. But no Godparents. There were two other people listed as witnesses though.

Our children never had Christenings or Baptisms. My spouse and I had/have different faith beliefs. Besides, we did not view Godparents as something we would want. Nor did we see a need for it.

Our grandchildren are the same...neither Christened nor baptized.

 

[SecondAttempt]

Hmm... I would have thought that if the assistant did not have a will that named her to receive something and the assistant was not blood-family then she would receive nothing.

But then again, if nobody else objects, maybe the Probate Court would allow it.

Good thought provoking example.

-gauss

Like I said, I have no idea what happened. I don't think my neighbor had any blood relatives that survived her. And I don't know what her will said. I had to give a statement and answer questions for the probabte judge but most of what I know came from what another neighbor said and I have no idea where she got her information.

I mostly offered the story to illustrate that wild claims can be made after death and they could be taken seriously. So be careful what you agree to even verbally.

 

[garyt]

My question is why would you even tell her what's in your will?

 

[brett]

My question is why would you even tell her what's in your will?

THAT is the part that I do not understand!!

 

[youbet]

Thanks taking the time to reply! We are not religious

I wonder why you accepted the role of godparent then?

 

[FLJim]

Thank you Sunset! You all are definately making me rethink my husbands allocation ������������I’m glad I came here

Percentages don't tell the whole story. What are we talking about when it comes to size of estate? $50,000? $1 Million? $5 million? And what if due to medical and elder care late in life, there is nothing left? 10% of nothing.....