Financial expectations of a God parent?

[Biracialgirlie]

I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. I’m married woman with no children and I’m planning to leave 50 percent to my husband, 40 percent to my siblings and ten percent to her children. I give my God children generous gifts at Christmas , birthdays, fundraisers etc. But she also often makes comments about how I am so lucky to not have the expenses that she will have when putting her kids through college and drops hints about how I should contribute to their college expenses etc. she makes the same amount of money as I do and has a husband that makes good money. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

 

[RobbieB]

God parents are there to support the children if both parents die. Unless both of the parents die, none.

 

[Biracialgirlie]

Thanks , Robbie. That was my understanding too. The guilt trip had me second guessing it, so I came here. ��Thanks sooo much

 

[pacergal]

It is fine.
My understanding of godparents is that they are not responsible for helping to raise the child, but to contribute to the spiritual upbringing.

 

[euro]

God parents are there to support the children if both parents die. Unless both of the parents die, none.

I'm totally on board with that interpretation, although my DW overrules me each year and sends them a nice Christmas and a birthday present. OK with me too. Alas, I would never even CONSIDER leaving our God children part of my estate. Why? I much rather leave it ALL to charity.

 

[Car-Guy]

I agree with Robbie but since you asked, I also wonder how your husband feels about only getting 50%? But maybe there are other circumstances/considerations that haven't been disclosed.

 

[street]

I think that is great that you are willing 10% to them. I guess just because you are God Mother to them doesn't mean you have to leave them anything. The children's mother should be happy and glad they are even getting something. Why would someone think that a God Parent has to leave them anything.

You been more than generous IMO.

My God Mother is still alive at 95 and doing quite well. I haven't talked to her in many years, and she is my aunt. She had no children, her and her husband had a very successful business and are very wealthy people. She contacts me by mail once a year by I haven't seen her or talked to her in years.

I don't want anything and I'm sure I'm not in the will and I don't expect anything. I know she has had so many relatives beg for money through the years. When growing up we spent a lot of time with them and were very close. She has tried to keep close, but I have not done so back for my own reasons.

 

[Gumby]

In my church's tradition, a godparent is responsible for sponsoring their godchild's baptism and pledges to help with the child's religious upbringing. There is no financial expectation. Some people may name their children's godparents (or any other willing adult) as a guardian in the event of both parents' death, but that is a separate issue.

 

[Biracialgirlie]

I agree with Robbie but since you asked, I also wonder how your husband feels about only getting 50%? But maybe there are other circumstances/considerations that haven't been disclosed.

This is another thing that I’m thinking to reconsider, as well ������great point

 

[Biracialgirlie]

I think that is great that you are willing 10% to them. I guess just because you are God Mother to them doesn't mean you have to leave them anything. The children's mother should be happy and glad they are even getting something. Why would someone think that a God Parent has to leave them anything.

You been more than generous IMO.

My God Mother is still alive at 95 and doing quite well. I haven't talked to her in many years, and she is my aunt. She had no children, her and her husband had a very successful business and are very wealthy people. She contacts me by mail once a year by I haven't seen her or talked to her in years.

I don't want anything and I'm sure I'm not in the will and I don't expect anything. I know she has had so many relatives beg for money through the years. When growing up we spent a lot of time with them and were very close. She has tried to keep close, but I have not done so back for my own reasons.

Thank you for your time and thought ful reply ��

 

[Biracialgirlie]

In my church's tradition, a godparent is responsible for sponsoring their godchild's baptism and pledges to help with the child's religious upbringing. There is no financial expectation. Some people may name their children's godparents (or any other willing adult) as a guardian in the event of both parents' death, but that is a separate issue.

Thank you! You have helped put my mind at ease

 

[Biracialgirlie]

I'm totally on board with that interpretation, although my DW overrules me each year and sends them a nice Christmas and a birthday present. OK with me too. Alas, I would never even CONSIDER leaving our God children part of my estate. Why? I much rather leave it ALL to charity.

Thank you! You have helped put my mind at ease

 

[Biracialgirlie]

It is fine.
My understanding of godparents is that they are not responsible for helping to raise the child, but to contribute to the spiritual upbringing.

Thank you! You have helped put my mind at ease

 

[cathy63]

This is a cultural expectation as much as a religious one. Some ethnic groups and some Christian sects do have an expectation that being a godparent comes with some financial obligation.

I was raised Catholic, and godparents were to provide spiritual support to the child and family rather than financial support. I definitely do not expect to be remembered in my godparents' wills when they pass. They are among my parents' closest friends and have been present in my life since the day I was born, but they have never supported me financially in any way.

 

[Sunset]

OP - You are already generous to the God children and have zero obligation to leave them anything from your estate.

Like a few others, I do wonder about leaving only 50% to your spouse. I suppose if you are both very wealthy, and he won't need the money it makes sense.

 

[Scout]

Just researched all of this for the US and much of Western Europe as DW is in a similar circumstance. I found that, as Robbie said, you have no obligation unless both parents die. There were some small financial obligations surrounding ceremony, etc., but not after.
Stand tough!

 

[marko]

This is a cultural expectation as much as a religious one. Some ethnic groups and some Christian sects do have an expectation that being a godparent comes with some financial obligation.

I was raised Catholic, and godparents were to provide spiritual support to the child and family rather than financial support. I definitely do not expect to be remembered in my godparents' wills when they pass. They are among my parents' closest friends and have been present in my life since the day I was born, but they have never supported me financially in any way.

Last time I heard from my Godparents was 69 years ago...I was 2 years old.

 

[Qs Laptop]

I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

I think it's overly generous and godparents need not put godchildren in their wills. I think the number in your will should be zero. I'm with Car-Guy--why is the husband only getting 50%?

I give my godchild a nice birthday present or two. No Christmas gifts, though, on request of his parents.

 

[Biracialgirlie]

This is a cultural expectation as much as a religious one. Some ethnic groups and some Christian sects do have an expectation that being a godparent comes with some financial obligation.

I was raised Catholic, and godparents were to provide spiritual support to the child and family rather than financial support. I definitely do not expect to be remembered in my godparents' wills when they pass. They are among my parents' closest friends and have been present in my life since the day I was born, but they have never supported me financially in any way.

Thanks taking the time to reply! We are not religious

 

[Biracialgirlie]

Thank you Sunset! You all are definately making me rethink my husbands allocation ������������I’m glad I came here

 

[Biracialgirlie]

U rock

Just researched all of this for the US and much of Western Europe as DW is in a similar circumstance. I found that, as Robbie said, you have no obligation unless both parents die. There were some small financial obligations surrounding ceremony, etc., but not after.
Stand tough!

Thank you, Scout

 

[Biracialgirlie]

Last time I heard from my Godparents was 69 years ago...I was 2 years old.

Thank u

 

[Biracialgirlie]

I think I’ll be changing my will

I think it's overly generous and godparents need not put godchildren in their wills. I think the number in your will should be zero. I'm with Car-Guy--why is the husband only getting 50%?

I give my godchild a nice birthday present or two. No Christmas gifts, though, on request of his parents.

Thank u

 

[Lewis Clark]

I've never had or been a God-child so I have no idea what the expectations are. This sounds like a personal issue. When you were asked to be a God parent, was there a discussion (actual or implied) at that time about what the expectations were, on both sides?

If not, I think there should have been. This won't help you but may be a warning to folks in the future to clarify expectations up front.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. I’m married woman with no children and I’m planning to leave 50 percent to my husband, 40 percent to my siblings and ten percent to her children. I give my God children generous gifts at Christmas , birthdays, fundraisers etc. But she also often makes comments about how I am so lucky to not have the expenses that she will have when putting her kids through college and drops hints about how I should contribute to their college expenses etc. she makes the same amount of money as I do and has a husband that makes good money. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

Dropping hints about how you should contribute to her children’s college education is weird to me. Her children are not your family. And why are you sending your best friend your will anyway?

FWIW, Iwas neither a godparent nor a godchild so I have no experience with that. Religious upbringing was not part of my childhood. Just the Golden Rule.