Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[braumeister]

An oxymoron walks into a bar.

The silence was deafening as she ordered the fresh frozen jumbo shrimp.

 

[Qs Laptop]

An oxymoron walks into a bar.

The silence was deafening as she ordered the fresh frozen jumbo shrimp.

Was ice water also ordered?

 

[Walt34]

AI taking over yet another job:

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

white

 

[Walt34]

Perspective matters:

 

[Walt34]

Upcoming weather:

 

[Walt34]

What they're really thinking:

 

[38Chevy454]

I'm confused how a funeral home can raise prices and blame it on the cost of living.

I'm not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every so often.

Wife: I am not talking to you.
Husband: OK
Wife: Don't you want to know the reason?
Husband: No, I respect and trust your decision

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

My life coach just informed me that I didn't make the team.

 

[Walt34]

Exploring new ideas:

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Walt34]

Okay, so now what...?

 

[Time2]

Water always wins.

 

[Time2]

Got a vasectomy

 

[ncbill]

where's the bag of frozen peas?

those sure were appreciated in my case.

 

[Time2]

where's the bag of frozen peas?

those sure were appreciated in my case.

Yes, I remember! When I had my vasectomy, my neighbor had went out of town and they had ask me to add chlorine to their pool. I remember that very slow and deliberate walk of about 75 yards across the street to do that.
I was about like a turtle!

 

[Chuckanut]

How to get hipsters to obey “Keep Out” warnings.

How to get hipsters to obey “Keep Out” warnings.

 

[Music Lover]

Or "No craft beer"

 

[Walt34]

Calculating storage capability....

 

[Time2]

I had my yearly physical last week, my blood tests all looked good but,
my doc said I have Tom Jones disease.
I ask the doc, "Is it rare?"
He said, "It's not unusual.

 

[Qs Laptop]

 

[Walt34]

Documentation is everything, apparently it's always been so....

 

[Walt34]

Spider surprise:

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway...

The good fortune to run into the ones I do...

And the eyesight to tell the difference.

 

[Walt34]

Too bad there's no parallelogram season:

 

[38Chevy454]

For the ladies:

For all those me who say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Nowadays, majority of women are against marriage. Why? Because most women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.