bright eyed
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2007
- Messages
- 1,891
ok, i just read Nord's thread about his PIL and considering the conversation i had w/ my dad today i'm wondering if it's possible for there to be good relationships w/ parents in adult life?
i moved about 2 years ago - to be closer w/ the parents after having the girls - they help me out a ton and are wonderfully supportive in most aspects. but the thing that makes me steam is when they give me advice about things that are plain as day, or get overly concerned about something with the kids, all of which for some dumb reason pisses me off.
i have a strong independent streak - i was the first kid to go off to college, lived in the east coast and far away until now so i've enjoyed a totally different relationship - always the one coming home and visiting - happy times.
for all those years, and most of my life they hardly ever knew where i was, who i was with etc - even as a kid - i went where i wanted, etc.
now i find myself w/ cute kids and grandparents who think that i don't know how/when/what to feed them, that their brite grand-daughter must be developmentally behind because she wasn't writing letters (she's four and she is doing that now but for the past 6 months they were pestering me - i said she was fine stop worrying and don't push her - i work with child devmt experts for goodness sakes!)...
anyhoo you get the drift.
i "imagine" that when my kids grow up at some point i will loosen/let go of the reigns and let them run their lives (mostly!)
i already stress about everything related to the kids anyhoo - it doesn't help for them to ask about it! but perhaps i'm just having the wrong attitude? arrrg.
anyone have good stories to share about their parents and how they did it - or should i just prepare to torture the ninos?
i moved about 2 years ago - to be closer w/ the parents after having the girls - they help me out a ton and are wonderfully supportive in most aspects. but the thing that makes me steam is when they give me advice about things that are plain as day, or get overly concerned about something with the kids, all of which for some dumb reason pisses me off.
i have a strong independent streak - i was the first kid to go off to college, lived in the east coast and far away until now so i've enjoyed a totally different relationship - always the one coming home and visiting - happy times.
for all those years, and most of my life they hardly ever knew where i was, who i was with etc - even as a kid - i went where i wanted, etc.
now i find myself w/ cute kids and grandparents who think that i don't know how/when/what to feed them, that their brite grand-daughter must be developmentally behind because she wasn't writing letters (she's four and she is doing that now but for the past 6 months they were pestering me - i said she was fine stop worrying and don't push her - i work with child devmt experts for goodness sakes!)...
anyhoo you get the drift.
i "imagine" that when my kids grow up at some point i will loosen/let go of the reigns and let them run their lives (mostly!)
i already stress about everything related to the kids anyhoo - it doesn't help for them to ask about it! but perhaps i'm just having the wrong attitude? arrrg.
anyone have good stories to share about their parents and how they did it - or should i just prepare to torture the ninos?