Our changing thoughts on possessions...

[Reach]

We FIRE'd, sold our house and of our all stuff in 2008 to live and travel on a sailboat. We had planned this, so had been keeping things at a minimum (old cars, small house), but there was still an amazing amount of stuff accumulated.

It was a liberating feeling to downsize... no storage unit, everything we own is onboard. It was a bit weird to throw out personal items (like yearbooks), but had just gone through that at work where years of a career went into the shredder box. Craigslist and an estate sale took care of all of the rest. We were giving things away in the end, glasses, coats, anything that didn't sell.

Books were hard to part with in particular, but by that time all music and books were going onto the Kindle and iPod. Now, our most important possessions include our computers and hobbies (guitar, camera gear) and tools for all of the boat work - Lol. Galley items are my main indulgence since cooking is also a hobby. Minimal clothes needed.

It's fair to say that we are naturally minimalistic and prioritize experiences, not that I don't like to have stuff. I know that I am that much more grateful for what I do have.

 

[Amethyst]

What is keeping you from throwing them away? Or putting them up on an online marketplace for free?

My mother had stuff, some of it beloved by us for sentimental/aesthetic reasons, but nothing of any monetary value. If my sister and I didn't want something, we offered it to each other and then threw it away.

A few years after she died, I realized I didn't have the same attachment to some odds and ends that I used to, so I threw them away.

Other than taking up space, these sorts of items serve absolutely no purpose. At least the jewelry is of some value and can be sold. A lot of the stuff really isn't worth anything at all.

 

[disneysteve]

What is keeping you from throwing them away? Or putting them up on an online marketplace for free?

My mother had stuff, some of it beloved by us for sentimental/aesthetic reasons, but nothing of any monetary value. If my sister and I didn't want something, we offered it to each other and then threw it away.

It's a great question. I guess I've been focusing my decluttering efforts on the easy stuff, setting aside the sentimental items to deal with last once most everything else is cleaned out.

 

[Amethyst]

I think that's perfectly normal and sensible. It takes a while to pull the "do I really want this thing" apart from the love you had for the departed owners.

It's a great question. I guess I've been focusing my decluttering efforts on the easy stuff, setting aside the sentimental items to deal with last once most everything else is cleaned out.

 

[ATX78701]

In preparation for FIRE (I launched two days ago ) in 2020 I sold a 2100 sq foot home and most all possessions including DGM’s clock, custom furniture, yearbooks from middle school high school and college, art, antiques, china, etc. The selling process occurred before COVID thanks goodness, and I was amazed at what turned into a bidding war and what turned into me just giving away or selling waaaaaay below resale/replacement value. It did make me happy that some really good pieces of furniture were purchased by some young couples just starting out. They got great deals and I had less stuff to deal with.

Now I’m settled into a furnished apt but finding I “need” things: the bedroom only has an overhead light, so I bought two lamps for the nightstands; the plates and glassware were not my style at all so I bought new dishes. It could be soooo easy to begin re accumulating items so for now I really have to convince myself of the utility of an item. One item I did buy was a printer as my home office printer was property of MegaCorp. I certainly don’t print everyday or even every week, but I like the convenience of it versus going to a UPS store to print personal items.

DM has a house and shed FULL of stuff. Luckily DB and I see eye to eye on it and really just want to get rid of most items except for some photo albums.

 

[Jakob]

My DW just retired and I am very close to retiring. Me, I like my work and feel it is fulfilling to work as an OT, yet working for corporate health care not so much. We sold our large home with a big yard and bought a townhome in the same community, Pittsburgh metro area. We have a low HOA fee $125/mo and no maintenance outside. DW has read 11 books since Jan 1, learning to play piano, and crochets. Me, I play fiddle, a little banjo, Appalachian style, and learning guitar. I hope to start learning stone carving, participate in a paleontology dig, and travel (grandson in TX, 16 months old). Time is important!

 

[Hermit]

As an avid DIY'er, I have (according to my wife) more tools than anyone.

Any excuse to buy a new tool is a good excuse - Man Law

So, we have 3 new sheds to contain our "stuff" and organize and de-clutter and soon I will have a new (well used but functional) boat on the Delta. No doubt some boating supplies, fishing...

Yup. Not downsizing my stuff. Upsizing -

I'm with RobbieB on this subject. I have been living in an old motor home for the last 8 years or so and will be happy to accumulate some stuff as I finish my house. I never got rid of any woodworking equipment or tools and they have been set up in the garage in the house for several years as I have built the place around them. I have been wanting to buy a new pickup and an ATV for quite some time too. That should happen once I completely move into the house. Looking forward to some more stuff.

 

[ddoorn]

Several years ago I left my pack rat wife and hoarder B-I-L, emptied the house...3 dumpster loads and an overhaul cleaning later I moved on to my new minimalist life with a focus on experiences, not stuff.

Whew, what a freaking RELIEF!
What a HUGE lesson learned!

 

[Time2]

not to change the subject but how long do you keep your tax returns? I have them back about 15 years.

About a year ago, I went through a bunch of papers. I threw away my 1970 tax return. H&R Block charged me $3.00 to do my taxes. I made $300.00! I was 15 years old.

 

[LastBoomer]

But Why not drink from nice glasses? You only live once. I have lived a very minimalist lifestyle, with nonmatching dishes and silverware my whole adult life, and I actually enjoy nice dishes and glasses!

 

[triangle]

As I age I see value in buying a one really nice thing, rather than a bunch of lesser quality things. For example one nice chef knife and paring knife, rather than a whole set of lesser quality knives.

But I think it is more difficult to scale back on something that might be your hobby. For example I could imagine a person who is passionate about a specific category like guitars, firearms, wood working, watches, coffee making, shoes, etc. to spend a lot of money and collect a lot of items. On their way to figuring out what they really liked.

 

[Bullwinkle]

When we moved, it was much, much harder to leave all the trees we had planted 30 years ago, than to get rid of no-longer-needed possessions.

This is actually one of the things I dread about moving some day. I waited 5-10 years for these trees to get big and strong, and now someone someone else is going to get the fruits? Or worse, not pick them and let them go to waste! If I live with them for 30 years I can only imagine it will be that much harder.

On the other hand... we are enjoying the fruits from of the previous owners. So a nicer way to think of it is as passing on a gift.

The only other prized possessions I can think of are musical instruments, and those are coming with me.

 

[DrRoy]

We're not really there yet. Started out overfunded, and the market keeps going up. Right now in more of a Blow That Dough phase. Travel, remodel the house, buy what we want. Planned for our highest spend year ever so far in 2021, and added to the cash stash, at a whopping WR of 3%.

 

[Elena]

I'm a minimalist by nature. When people are inside my house, some inquire "did you just move in?"

Nope, just kept it to a minimum of belongings.

LOL. I as well am a minimalist by nature. My mom says I live in a burglarized home. I like to think of it as a "model home", those with just minimal decoration that builders use when selling newly built apartments.

 

[blueskyk]

I am a minimalist by nature and seem to become more so every year. I am constantly decluttering and enjoy the sense of freedom it brings. Over the past few years, I have been the administrator for two estates and having to disburse with a lifetime of belongings in each case made an impact on me as well. I don't want someone else to have to deal with a lot of my "stuff". I think this is the basis of what's called "Swedish death cleaning".

+1 After a 6 month stint of clearing out my Dad's place (40 acres, large shop, large house) I vowed to depart this earth with as little as possible in my physical possession. While I still have my hobby stuff and toys, I cull at least once a month and drop it off at a thrift donation center. My goal is now that all I own is easily visible so it's not hard to find and I'm aware of my "inventory". I find it quite freeing.

 

[2tswhite]

I'm with RobbieB on this subject. I have been living in an old motor home for the last 8 years or so and will be happy to accumulate some stuff as I finish my house. I never got rid of any woodworking equipment or tools and they have been set up in the garage in the house for several years as I have built the place around them. I have been wanting to buy a new pickup and an ATV for quite some time too. That should happen once I completely move into the house. Looking forward to some more stuff.

Ugh - my DH wants to GET MORE woodworking stuff in retirement. I see us downsizing in housing, but the garage is going to be huge

 

[Markola]

Several years ago I left my pack rat wife and hoarder B-I-L, emptied the house...3 dumpster loads and an overhaul cleaning later I moved on to my new minimalist life with a focus on experiences, not stuff.



Whew, what a freaking RELIEF!

What a HUGE lesson learned!

Yeah, getting rid of multiple large dumpsters’ worth of my hoarder MIL’s stuff after her death, rest her soul, taught me a lot about possessions in later life, as well as what someone convinces themselves that their kids will want. It was a window into a mental illness we could only glimpse from outside her house when she was alive.

I read an article about a woman whose business is getting rid of crap after someone dies. Her point was, “NO ONE wants all this junk that people think has financial value or will be family heirlooms. If you want to do them a favor, get rid of all of it now. Better to put it out into the world where it has a better chance of finding a home, landfill, or someone else’s pile of junk than foisting it on your descendants to deal with. Even if some things have some emotional value, take pictures of them and put them in an album before you dispose of it.”

Harsh but pretty wise, from what I’ve seen.

 

[BarbWire]

Yeah, getting rid of multiple large dumpsters’ worth of my hoarder MIL’s stuff after her death, rest her soul, taught me a lot about possessions in later life, as well as what someone convinces themselves that their kids will want. It was a window into a mental illness we could only glimpse from outside her house when she was alive.

I read an article about a woman whose business is getting rid of crap after someone dies. Her point was, “NO ONE wants all this junk that people think has financial value or will be family heirlooms. If you want to do them a favor, get rid of all of it now. Better to put it out into the world where it has a better chance of finding a home, landfill, or someone else’s pile of junk than foisting it on your descendants to deal with. Even if some things have some emotional value, take pictures of them and put them in an album before you dispose of it.”

Harsh but pretty wise, from what I’ve seen.

That's the essence of "Swedish Death Cleaning."

 

[pacergal]

We have asked our kids if there is anything they want, to take it now or let us know. There are only a couple of things they actually want, and some of the "things" I thought they might want, they don't! Good, I can dispose of it.
We do routine "clean and purge", I like less stuff.

 

[RobbieB]

I'm loving my new "tool shed and deck" setup. Got my miter saw and my scroll saw hanging on the wall. The table saw is on the rolling workbench and the air compressor is on the fixed workbench. 6x8 foot shed with a 8x12 deck in front. I just wheel out the rolling bench put whatever saw on and go. Nice cool shaded area and all the sawdust just blows away.

Sweet!

 

[Ronstar]

Tools do not qualify as things to be purged - only as things to be accumulated.

I regret past purging episodes where I’ve sold some of my tools. It will never happen again unless I get rid of something to make room for something new.

 

[Amethyst]

To me, and most hobbyists, this is part of living and thriving. Sadly, there does come a day (I see it with fellow hobbyists on-line) where the person often realizes they can't do it any more due to physical limitations. Some then give away the stash, or sell it at very low valuation, to hobbyists still in the game.

.

But I think it is more difficult to scale back on something that might be your hobby. For example I could imagine a person who is passionate about a specific category like guitars, firearms, wood working, watches, coffee making, shoes, etc. to spend a lot of money and collect a lot of items. On their way to figuring out what they really liked.

 

[meleana]

SueJ's story touched me about the cocktail glasses. My late wife and I had a set of Waterford glasses, goblets and liqueur glasses. They now sit in a china closet unused.

I have cut way back on consumption, and it does not feel right to drink Chateau Box (boxed wine) from Waterford glasses.
They are fairly expensive, and at some point I think I will sell them on eBay..

I have Lenox blue crystal wine glasses and I am using them with my cheap wine! Use everything!

 

[meleana]

We downsized from a 2600 square foot home on 10 1/2 acres to an 1100 square foot cottage on a postage stamp sized lot in a community that is similar to a 55+. We don’t even need a lawn mower.

We got rid of practically everything. I know how the one poster feels about the glasses breaking in the dumpster. Even at Goodwill, I had to put some treasured things in the donation box and try to not have them break. The workers there could care less and just threw stuff on top of them.

But in the end they are just “ stuff”. My motto in life is “keep it simple”. It’s very freeing.

I have lots of the real estate photos of our former family home on my digital frame now. I miss it but even though we are only in our 60’s, I know this cottage is the right thing for us to be planted in as we get older. No sense in having to move again.

 

[meleana]

PS The hardest thing for me to get rid of was most of my books. I always said my books would tell you who I was. For my husband it was a good amount of his tools.