Our changing thoughts on possessions...

[Teacher Terry]

I am buying some new things for the condo I am buying and that’s been fun. The smaller items I bought and the bigger ones will wait until closing.

 

[ksr]

I am a minimalist by nature and seem to become more so every year. I am constantly decluttering and enjoy the sense of freedom it brings. Over the past few years, I have been the administrator for two estates and having to disburse with a lifetime of belongings in each case made an impact on me as well. I don't want someone else to have to deal with a lot of my "stuff". I think this is the basis of what's called "Swedish death cleaning".

 

[SmallCityDave]

Great thread Ray!

We started that journey 2-3 years ago and it's almost as satisfying getting rid of stuff as it was buying it, I still enjoy the thrill of getting a bargain but it's just stuff and it takes up space. Our new "rule" is buy 1 new get rid of 2 old.

We were on a vacation in a 1 bedroom condo with only a couple suitcase of our stuff it made me realize how little we actually need, it was eye opening and sad.

 

[FIREd]

I went though a divorce a few years ago and decided to make a big change in my life. I sold everything, except for a few boxes of personal effects, and moved to Europe. I left the US with a couple of suitcases, as the boxes containing my personal effects took two months to arrive by boat. I had no home lined up when I arrived, so I stayed in temp housing - living only out of my suitcases. Then, I found a home but I decided to remodel it from top to bottom and I stayed in temp housing for 10 more months - still living out of my two suitcases. By then my personal effects had arrived but I had put them in storage as I had no room for any of it. Many people felt sorry for me and saw me as down and out after my divorce. Yet, this was by far the best year of my life. I never felt so free. The second best year of my life? When I arrived in the US as an immigrant in the 1990's with 2 suitcases and $3K (my entire savings) in my pocket. I was renting a room with a single piece of furniture - a futon bed left by the previous occupant. I had a large walk-in closet where I put my 2 suitcases and my entire wardrobe fit on a single shelf. I did eventually buy a used desk and chair, but I lived like this for a year at least.

The home I purchased here is 540 sq.ft. It is -in every single way- "enough" for me. I decided to furnish it in a way that emphasizes space and that meant keeping clutter at a minimum. Some people tell me that my home looks like a magazine spread. I take it as a compliment even if they usually mean it in a negative way - as in there is not enough "stuff" in it to give it that lived-in look. But having tasted real freedom, I am now keen to never stray too far away from it again - by saddling myself with needless possessions and responsibilities.

 

[dixonge]

We downsized in 2010, moved from 2000+ sq ft + 3-car garage to 750 sq ft apartment. One year later, we moved out and drove off with our worldly possessions in our car. We spent seven months living in a pop-up camper, traveling the U.S. Then we downsized to four suitcases and lived in Mexico and Central America for 6 out of 8 years. We also lived in Austin for two years, small apartment.



Each time we planted roots our possessions began to grow to fill the space we were in. Each time we were able to downsize again. It is easier when you don't re-accumulate *too* much.


We now live in a 32-foot motorhome and our possessions have again grown. We have both space and weight limits, so it is a barrier. At some point we'll sell this thing and settle down, most likely renting in another country. All of this is so much easier when you keep it small and don't get attached to 'things.'

 

[target2019]

Guilty as charged. We have too much stuff, but recognize that, and are finding things to donate and discard continuously. About 15 years ago we stored a piano for brother until his daughter came and got it. Of course when it was taken away, it meant we had room to store a piano for another niece, and we were happy to do that. I don't think she's gonna get this one, so for now it is part of our stuff.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

In 2012 we were moving my recently widowed Dad to an assisted living facility. Mom and Dad had sold the home where I grew up in 1995 and moved to a 2 BR condo. Dad wanted to take very little to the ALF so we were donating a lot of his things, keeping some and tossing some.

I was getting the family china cabinet, a neighbor took the dishes and some linens and we donated a lot. By the end of the day our car was packed solid, the rental truck had left and we still had things to get rid of.

Back in the 1960s my parents had tried the popular cocktails at the time. They were never drinkers at all but tried what was fashionable. They bought a set of cocktail glasses that they always had on display in that china cabinet. I remember seeing them all of my childhood and they took them when they moved to the condo. Always proudly on display.

Now we were ready to leave and no one could take them. We put them in a box and I took them down to the dumpster. I looked for a spot on the top layer of the dumpster where the box could sit and maybe....maybe someone would see them there and rescue them. I walked away and heard the box slide and the sound of glass breaking.

All those years that these cocktail glasses were so proudly displayed in my parents homes and now they are just broken trash. Somehow that moment (actually the whole experience of downsizing my Dad to assisted living) changed how I feel about possessions and stuff in general.

While I have some things of my own that I use and treasure I'm not focused on possessions and certainly don't feel the need to keep acquiring things.

I have had a love/hate affair with my parents china and assorted things that go with that. Theirs was also proudly displayed and when Mom was still healthy, they were cleaned weekly. The cleaning of the "fine silver" was a semi-annual affair. When they passed, we decided to keep it all considering how much they spent on it all (so much money!!!) and packing it was quite an ordeal. Today, we still have the china cabinet, but it's used for something else. The china (and glasses and silverware) are all stored above our fridge. In reality, it's worth nothing...but I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

 

[Ronstar]

My most cherished possessions are those that help provide memorable experiences. Being my truck, woodworking tools, cameras, hiking stuff, bicycle, and kayak.

 

[Amethyst]

Have you checked Ebay to be sure it's worth nothing? (or not the trouble of selling).
It seems to me that when I look for such things online, used, there is usually a stiff price being asked for them.
They certainly will be nicer than anything one could find in the thrift stores - and I know many who shop there, and have shopped there myself.

. The china (and glasses and silverware) are all stored above our fridge. In reality, it's worth nothing...but I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

 

[braumeister]

Have you checked Ebay to be sure it's worth nothing? (or not the trouble of selling).
It seems to me that when I look for such things online, used, there is usually a stiff price being asked for them.

I always look at just "Completed Listings" to see what they actually sold for. The amount a person is asking doesn't really tell me anything.

 

[HI Bill]

At RE minus four months, we went from an 800 sf condo to a 2,600 sf house. It's felt quite empty, and ironically, we've had a hard time finding places to put the last 15 or so boxes of the 6,000 pounds of stuff we actually moved, due to a lack of furniture and bookshelves. Our place still seems empty, but my wife seems intent on filling it up. I enjoyed adding a wall garage cabinet/workbench system, a scuba compressor, and a few shelves in the closets. I wanted a minimalist retirement, but Amazon boxes come almost every day of the week, now. Hopefully, to slow down, soon.

 

[RobbieB]

As an avid DIY'er, I have (according to my wife) more tools than anyone.

Any excuse to buy a new tool is a good excuse - Man Law

So, we have 3 new sheds to contain our "stuff" and organize and de-clutter and soon I will have a new (well used but functional) boat on the Delta. No doubt some boating supplies, fishing...

Yup. Not downsizing my stuff. Upsizing -

 

[doneat54]

Yes, downsizing too, "letting go". We bought a second home in 2019 on a lake, DW plans to retire mid '22 (I FIRE'd in 2017) and we plan to sell our primary home spring of '23. The lake house is roughly half the size. So we are on a 2 year glidepath to leaving the primary home void of anything but pieces of nice furniture and hand the keys to a real estate agent.


I have 3 vintage cars and have been in the vintage car hobby for decades. And through the years, I got attracted to the earlier, and earlier (and more expensive) models. Also, began buying, trading and selling parts. I have a barrister cabinet in my office with my "museum" pieces. There are tens of thousands of dollars worth of "car parts" in there. But I have started selling them off and it is refreshing. It was a mental process for sure. 2 weeks ago I sold a pair of taillights for 1950-1952 Volkswagen Beetles for about $400 more than you could have bought a Volkswagen Beetle for in 1951. Some stuff I will keep, but most of it I'd rather turn in to cash to do other fun stuff with..... and not have to "move it" in a year or so.

 

[doneat54]

As an avid DIY'er, I have (according to my wife) more tools than anyone.

Yep, mine tells friends "He has every tool know to mankind!"

But to that point regarding tools, I don't cherish owning tools. I cherish what I can do with them. So getting rid of a tool, means getting rid of a capability to do something. That's the way I look at it anyway. Sure, I have some tools that I'll use every other year, if that. But lots of them allow me to do stuff that I like to do.

 

[Bamaman]

We're raising a 9 1/2 year old granddaughter permanently and her 13 year old brother is here every other weekend. We are maintaining a much larger home (than needed) with a pool to provide stability for these kids. We inherited my parents lake house which is a lot of physical work to keep it up--but doesn't have a big cost of upkeep.

We inherited great furniture from my parents and an aunt. It seems as if I've spent the last 12 years of ER either moving us or moving relatives. Right now, we're going through a triple car garage I can barely walk in. We need a big Facebook Marketplace sale.

If something happened us right now, we would be a burden on our children just liquidating our personal belongings. We still have antique oriental rugs, a formal living room and formal dining room with all the crystal and sterling silver flatware we seldom use. Our children will never be in a place to use this "stuff."

My wife and I are going to inventory "stuff" and make decisions on who gets what. Nothing worse than having family fight over assets. And we have to stay liquid enough to take care of those grandchildren until they become "of age."

Getting old requires some tough decisions. And it also often requires preparing wills and trusts numerous times as family situations change. It's just how life is.

And to those that are living the RV life: I am in awe of you having the courage to liquidate the sticks & bricks and making a major change in your lifestyle. The people you meet in campgrounds are such nice, real people. We're also campers when time allows.

 

[2017ish]

We never were much on Stuff (other than books), and have fairly aggressively culled after our 3 kids fledged. Nonetheless, we don't have any completely empty rooms in 4200 square feet.... When we downsize to the city, however, it won't be that difficult. Most of our things are for convenience, not necessity. Will need to have a wine cellar in hypothetical new place, and storage for ski and dive gear, but most of our tools, tractor, pickup, library, etc. will be left behind.

(Workout room? It depends; if new place is condo with free weights and cardio equipment, no longer needed....)

Although we are not RVers, multimonth travel with only carry-on bags has trained us well.

 

[jollystomper]

I still enjoy my possessions but I am not beholden to them. 99% of them are replaceable, and at this stage in life I can afford to replace them. I am fine with giving away/donating items that I no longer use (e.g. sports equipment for sports I no longer choose to participate in).

Our house is large but I'd still like to reduce the stuff we have. DW and I are closer, but not yet completely, on the same page on this, but I am working on it . Helping me and my siblings clear out my parents house, and seeing how much stuff ended up in the dumpster, opened her eyes more to the reality that our kids will not want or care about 99% of the stuff we have.

 

[Amethyst]

I just realized that the reason I can't quite relate to this type of thread isn't that I'm obsessed with keeping useless things. It's that we use and enjoy the things we have.

So what if there is a lot, and others may not want it? Having gotten rid of a lot of stuff during various moves, I suspect there is a market for darn near anything, if the price is right.

Evidently, many people retain things they do not use, or care to look at, any more?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Have you checked Ebay to be sure it's worth nothing? (or not the trouble of selling).
It seems to me that when I look for such things online, used, there is usually a stiff price being asked for them.
They certainly will be nicer than anything one could find in the thrift stores - and I know many who shop there, and have shopped there myself.

DW did a little research and determined a lot about the origins, etc. and a clearing house had expressed some interest but overall china is rarely worth too much. Ebay listings tend to be pie in the sky listings (as has been mentioned). For the time being, they are taking up space that wouldn't be used anyway so no harm, no foul.

 

[Markola]

We went away for the winter to a minimally-furnished but functional rental house. When we returned, my feeling is mostly, “It’s good to be home but look at all this stuff I haven’t even thought about but, nevertheless, we have to take care of.”

 

[Out of Steam]

So what if there is a lot, and others may not want it? Having gotten rid of a lot of stuff during various moves, I suspect there is a market for darn near anything, if the price is right.

I feel a lot better about our possessions after cleaning out unneeded things when we moved about 18 months ago. Have also emptied my closets and dresser drawers by at least 25% by not buying clothes during the pandemic, though I have had to replace shoes and underwear. My sock supply is getting ragged, though.

I've tended to donate unneeded things, or let my daughter sell them and keep the money, rather than selling them myself. Once she moves back out, post pandemic, we should be able to put two cars in the garage.

 

[BarbWire]

I downsized significantly 12 years ago to move to a small apartment near my parents for eldercare. Then five years ago I had to deal with all of their possessions/estate in a 2700 sq ft house. I put the few nice pieces of furniture that I wanted plus many of their cherished possessions (don't know how to get rid of them) plus my remaining goods in 10x15 storage for four years and hit the road, in my van or or overseas.

In 2019/20, tiring of being a nomad, I was seriously house hunting in the US, exploring communities, but didn't pull the trigger as I also want a lock-and-leave lifestyle. Then in fall 2020 (Covid hiding) I took a 6 month lease on a 2BR apartment near my storage unit in Austin, moved everything from the storage unit to BR#2 and began culling and sorting again. And shredding.

New realizations:

* I still don't know how to get rid of many family personal items (eg, my father's chess set from his WW2 days in India).
* I can easily live in about 800 sq feet, with minimal furnishings as long as I have a garage for "projects" and some outdoor space (not just a balcony)
* I am a "maker" at heart: I like making stuff, but not doing home repairs/maint and landscaping (though I do like veggie gardening)
* walking through Home Depot's appliance department last week, i had a strong sense that I simply don't want to re-stock a 1800 sq foot house

And, the less stuff I have in the apartment's living areas the lighter I feel. So....really glad that I didn't buy a house last year.

Now my culled possessions are repacked in three groups:
(1) deep storage, for when I finally have a permanent home;
(2) items for a 1-BR apartment that will fit in a Uhaul trailer in case I want to test new towns with a rental; in storage otherwise
(3) things for vanlife and/or overseas travel.

I will hit the road in my van again in April, fully vaccinated!

 

[Chuckanut]

And, the less stuff I have in the apartment's living areas the lighter I feel. So....really glad that I didn't buy a house last year.

Now my culled possessions are repacked in three groups:
(1) deep storage, for when I finally have a permanent home;
(2) items for a 1-BR apartment that will fit in a Uhaul trailer in case I want to test new towns with a rental; in storage otherwise
(3) things for vanlife and/or overseas travel.

I will hit the road in my van again in April, fully vaccinated!

+1

You are an inspiration!

 

[Souschef]

When we married in 2007, we each lived in 1800 sq ft homes. We bought a new 1400 sq ft home and really had to downsize. DW had 2 sons and a huge accumulation of stuff.

She had her patio full 3 times for Goodwill to pick up. I sold all our collectibles on eBay. I took a lot of stuff to work for the production people.
The rest was either given away or went to Goodwill.
We have a 9 by 12 shed which has 4 big tubs of DW's stuff that she said her children will sort through.The shed also has the few tools I need, and is also used as a pantry.

 

[disneysteve]

* I still don't know how to get rid of many family personal items

This is a tough one. I've already faced it with many items and I will face it again when it comes time to clean out my cousin's house. I have things that were my father's when in was in the Army, for example. My cousin has his mother's rings (she died in 1976). Other than taking up space, these sorts of items serve absolutely no purpose. At least the jewelry is of some value and can be sold. A lot of the stuff really isn't worth anything at all.