Our changing thoughts on possessions...

[rayinpenn]

Recently something happened that got me to thinking about possessions. It occurred to me when most people started out they were interested in obtaining things. Then as they matured they realized it was the things they didn’t have that gave them the most joy? For example, not having a mortgage, or car loans or any debt for that matter likely meant they didn’t have the stress associated with meeting those obligations. It also means you can help others. The phrase that comes to mind is peace of mind and freedom. For me it is priceless.

I had a hard lesson on stuff early on, not long after I graduated I bought a very bare bones Volkswagen Rabbit. I took pains in keeping it tidy and well maintained. The day I made the last payment I was overjoyed. I believe it was that very week I was rear-ended at a stop sign and the car was nearly destroyed. It cured me of any desire for zoom zoom. Ever since then a car has been just transportation, nothing more. I still maintain them, but in the end it is a piece of metal. Covid has meant my car sits and only goes out once or twice a week. Sure, every now and then I still fantasize about that BMW convertible, but then it quickly passes. I do envy those that have a true passion for stuff.

I think I could sell the house and everything tomorrow and move into a well-fitted travel trailer and still be happy, maybe happier. I think it is freedom from stuff that is calling me.

A few weeks back my college roommate was featured in a publication. There was a picture of his wife and him both looking very thin and dapper - a real power couple. I dropped him a note saying so. He contacted me and told me about his recently purchased Gulf Stream. He also told me about all the medical problems he has and had. I was sad to hear it. It was a poignant reminder there is one possession worthy of pursuit, and that is your health. I think it was the catalyst for thinking about possessions.

I think I will have an extra long exercise walk today.
Are you on a journey away from stuff?

 

[Teacher Terry]

Yes definitely! I am newly divorced and bought a 855 sq ft condo. I packed my stuff and only have 28 plastic bins and 3 wardrobe boxes of clothes. Because my husband has so much stuff I didn’t realize that I had so little. I still have the stuff that I love and value. My family, friends and dogs are the most important things in my life.

 

[brett]

We downsized from a very large home to an 8X816 container. Then traveled for a good part of the year. We stayed in condos, six stars, no stars, small rooms, suites, resorts, AIs...the lot.

We had to pick and choose what to keep because of the space limitations. That process made us realize how some of our possessions that seemed important to us were no longer important. We gave away a lot of furniture and items. The most memorable to me was a complete girls bedroom set-bed, desk, night stand, pictures, lights the lot. The 11 year old who got it had only ever slept on an old pull out sofabed. What struck me was how important these items were to her and how inconsequential they were to us. Later, after emptying the container we donated lamps, bedding etc to people who had been flooded out of their basement suite and lost everything.

Ever since that time, possessions have lost a lot of importance in our lives. We travel frequently with carry on only. We are absolutely no in the accumulation mode. If I am finished with a book it either goes to a friend or it is donated to the library. Very few get to stay. Very, very different from our previous life.

In retirement, for us at least, experiences and family have completely overshadowed accumulation.

 

[pacergal]

Definitely. We have done clean outs multiple times since retirement, getting rid of "stuff", things of value to others, usable, but no longer needed by us.
Next we start on pictures, slides, school yearbooks, many of the "memory" items. Means something to us, but not of value to others. Kids might want some of the pictures.
We are very good at not adding things anymore.

It is refreshing to clear your space. It also helps clear your mind. At least for me!

 

[brett]

In retirement we went from 3700 sq feet to no home. Then to a furnished 1 bedroom in the the city for three months. Then four years in a one bedroom condo. Now in a 1500 sq foot place that seems so large. These experiences were so good for us. It felt wonderful to get rid of all the 'stuff' and change that aspect of our lives. I won't even go in a shopping center any more. No interest whatsoever.

 

[frayne]

I think as most of us age, material possessions that have little if any utility simply just don't matter much. Turning 70 this year and have had a good fifteen years of retirement making memories with friends and family which makes me happier than having a private plane or an exotic car collection. Full disclosure, I have been fortunate to have been able to live in nice houses and drive nice cars pretty much my entire life. Had I not been as fortunate I might have a different outlook. I am amazed at seeing how some couples retire and then buy their big dream house. But to answer the OP's question, yes the journey of getting rid of "stuff" continues.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I'm a minimalist by nature. When people are inside my house, some inquire "did you just move in?"

Nope, just kept it to a minimum of belongings.

 

[6miths]

Agree totally though I wasn't heavily into possessions to begin with but with 4 kids wound up with a large house and much 'stuff'. Near the end of my career I was doing consulting gigs for 2 weeks at a time in various places and I would get put up in nice, new two bedroom condos with only my suitcase 'stuff' as my own. It really drove home how liberating it was to have very little in the way of possessions. Over the last few years, the 'magic curb' has helped to lighten the clutter. Now I just have to convince DW to unload the big house.

This mindset is likely good for the planet but not for the economy. Oh well.

 

[Sue J]

In 2012 we were moving my recently widowed Dad to an assisted living facility. Mom and Dad had sold the home where I grew up in 1995 and moved to a 2 BR condo. Dad wanted to take very little to the ALF so we were donating a lot of his things, keeping some and tossing some.

I was getting the family china cabinet, a neighbor took the dishes and some linens and we donated a lot. By the end of the day our car was packed solid, the rental truck had left and we still had things to get rid of.

Back in the 1960s my parents had tried the popular cocktails at the time. They were never drinkers at all but tried what was fashionable. They bought a set of cocktail glasses that they always had on display in that china cabinet. I remember seeing them all of my childhood and they took them when they moved to the condo. Always proudly on display.

Now we were ready to leave and no one could take them. We put them in a box and I took them down to the dumpster. I looked for a spot on the top layer of the dumpster where the box could sit and maybe....maybe someone would see them there and rescue them. I walked away and heard the box slide and the sound of glass breaking.

All those years that these cocktail glasses were so proudly displayed in my parents homes and now they are just broken trash. Somehow that moment (actually the whole experience of downsizing my Dad to assisted living) changed how I feel about possessions and stuff in general.

While I have some things of my own that I use and treasure I'm not focused on possessions and certainly don't feel the need to keep acquiring things.

 

[Amethyst]

When we moved, it was much, much harder to leave all the trees we had planted 30 years ago, than to get rid of no-longer-needed possessions.

In 2012 we were moving my recently widowed Dad to an assisted living facility. Mom and Dad had sold the home where I grew up in 1995 and moved to a 2 BR condo. Dad wanted to take very little to the ALF so we were donating a lot of his things, keeping some and tossing some.

I was getting the family china cabinet, a neighbor took the dishes and some linens and we donated a lot. By the end of the day our car was packed solid, the rental truck had left and we still had things to get rid of.

Back in the 1960s my parents had tried the popular cocktails at the time. They were never drinkers at all but tried what was fashionable. They bought a set of cocktail glasses that they always had on display in that china cabinet. I remember seeing them all of my childhood and they took them when they moved to the condo. Always proudly on display.

Now we were ready to leave and no one could take them. We put them in a box and I took them down to the dumpster. I looked for a spot on the top layer of the dumpster where the box could sit and maybe....maybe someone would see them there and rescue them. I walked away and heard the box slide and the sound of glass breaking.

All those years that these cocktail glasses were so proudly displayed in my parents homes and now they are just broken trash. Somehow that moment (actually the whole experience of downsizing my Dad to assisted living) changed how I feel about possessions and stuff in general.

While I have some things of my own that I use and treasure I'm not focused on possessions and certainly don't feel the need to keep acquiring things.

 

[Souschef]

SueJ's story touched me about the cocktail glasses. My late wife and I had a set of Waterford glasses, goblets and liqueur glasses. They now sit in a china closet unused.

I have cut way back on consumption, and it does not feel right to drink Chateau Box (boxed wine) from Waterford glasses.
They are fairly expensive, and at some point I think I will sell them on eBay..

 

[Jerry1]

SueJ's story touched me about the cocktail glasses. My late wife and I had a set of Waterford glasses, goblets and liqueur glasses. They now sit in a china closet unused.

I have cut way back on consumption, and it does not feel right to drink Chateau Box (boxed wine) from Waterford glasses.
They are fairly expensive, and at some point I think I will sell them on eBay..

Au contraire. Drink out of them, I would.

Same thing here with mother in laws china. She never used it. We have it and we use it. Not a lot, but it has no other real value, so why not. At least then when they find themselves, broken, at the bottom of a dumpster, they will have lead a meaningful life.

 

[Aerides]

I don't so much need stuff, but I do like space, and I like the stuff I put in that space to be nice, in a way that I appreciate and enjoy. Doesn't need to be a lot of stuff, but I'm no minimalist.

I'm actually expanding my space without much stuff:

Converted half my garage from stacked up junky mess to a well organized, contained space, with a home gym. It's my new favorite room.

Putting a pool in our backyard. We have a decent sized lot but with a big open deck the space wasn't well used. Now, most of it will be a pool, and I'm putting in a pergola to create an outdoor room for seating and relaxing.

Between these two additions, my home will feel bigger and I'll use more of it.

 

[W2R]

We are not planning to move ever again, but in the spirit of being prepared for whatever life brings, I have given considerable thought to what I would take with me if/when we absolutely had to move for some reason.

My last move was really hard on me, physically! And that was at age 67; I am 72 now. So, I firmly decided that if/when we ever move again, this time I wasn't going to take any more with me than what would fit in the back of my Venza. This would include clothes, my laptop, my iPad, my Nintendo Switch, my InstantPot, my laundry cart, my coffee cup and hot water boiler, and very little else.

If I found that I needed anything else, I'd order it and have it delivered. That would definitely include a Lazy Boy recliner like my present one, and a refrigerator, neither of which would fit in my Venza. I can sleep in my recliner (and did for a while, after my surgery!) but if that didn't completely satisfy me I could have a bed delivered to my new location at some point.

I'd have an estate sale to get rid of all the other stuff (which is beginning to feel like an albatross to me).

 

[Dtail]

RayinPenn - I do have that BMW convertible, but I paid for it 11 years ago while working and would not spend the same money to replace it.
In general, we do buy less things.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

RayinPenn - I do have that BMW convertible, but I paid for it 11 years ago while working and would not spend the same money to replace it.
In general, we do but less things.

So many things similar about me and you, I've noticed over time.

Had the BMW convertible, and wouldn't want another. Wasn't a big fan.

 

[Dtail]

So many things similar about me and you, I've noticed over time.

Had the BMW convertible, and wouldn't want another. Wasn't a big fan.

Yeah except the big alimony payout, haha for another thread.

 

[Arizona1]

Great stories about glasses
My wife was given a really cool hand painted wine glass from New Orleans. We decided to use it when our dinner includes beer instead of a decoration. Living in a motorhome limits us to what’s in and stored in the basement area so we go through our stuff about every 6 months and everything we haven’t used since the last time gets donated.
We had a big house in Arizona before retiring in 2000 to RVing full time that was full of huge beautiful old growth Wood furniture. When selling the house I called a consignment store and asked if they wanted to sell it all in their store. They said they wanted 50% plus a thousand for pickup. We had paid about 37k. I called the people who were buying the house and gave them the congratulations that the furniture came with the house. There was some future good Will on their part as I was carrying the note. The wife is ok with the decision NOW.
Living in a <400 sqft Rv changes your perspective on living size. Whenever we stay in a hotel room it feels like a huge room. If we were to buy another home or condo on the beach, around 500 or 600 sqft would be the max size.

 

[Amethyst]

Better to drink cheap wine from beautiful crystal, than to leave the crystal unused. But if you do plan to sell, keeping them pristine will have turned out to be wise.

SueJ's story touched me about the cocktail glasses. My late wife and I had a set of Waterford glasses, goblets and liqueur glasses. They now sit in a china closet unused.

I have cut way back on consumption, and it does not feel right to drink Chateau Box (boxed wine) from Waterford glasses.
They are fairly expensive, and at some point I think I will sell them on eBay..

 

[rayinpenn]

I hope you enjoy you new life ...

 

[mystang52]

I don't buy or keep possessions just for the sake of getting possessions. But I do confess to enjoying toys. Fortunately for our pocketbook, the toys I genuinely enjoy are low-cost. A new pair of running shoes sets me back maybe $140, but thrills me no end. For Valentine's Day, at my request DW bought me a new pair of weight lifting gloves; I think it cost $15.
I'd love a snazzy sports car, and DW would accommodate me if I was serious about buying one. Problem is that while I'd enjoy driving it, once I got home my old body would be unable to get out of that low seat. So that's one toy I won't be buying

 

[frank]

not to change the subject but how long do you keep your tax returns? I have them back about 15 years.

 

[Midpack]

We’ve always lived below our means, but we certainly had indulgences in our 20’s and 30’s, nicer cars and vacations and more stuff than we needed. That started to wane in our 40’s and beginning in our 50’s we really embraced the concept of “enough.” We threw away, donated or sold hundreds of items, over 100 on eBay netting us over $8,000 - it was liberating, and we haven’t missed any of that stuff! If anything our problem now is we’re spending much less than retirement calculators say we can. Working on that, slowly...

 

[street]

Very interesting!
When I think back of the first 15 years of marriage we bought many new cars for one example. I look back now and see what a waste of money. Our possessions now when we buy, are of need and used to their death in most purchases.

After reading through the posts I did a mental audit of my purchases since retiring and all really have been a need for them but really I could have done without them. It would of created more work for me not buying them but I didn't need them.

Bottom line for me is my thinking and change on possessions is changing as I age. The more I have, the more to take care of, and the more you have can create stress and more work, right! A time when less stress, less worry, less things, are really better for me.

 

[Souschef]

Taking a page from Midpack's book, after my wife passed away, I disposed of a lot of stuff on eBay.
On the slightly OT question, I keep 7 years of paper returns with backup. I save the tax files in PDF from TT.