I've been using cross-bar wrenches since the 1960s. The "wrench" that comes with a vehicle is a poor substitute. The goal for an automaker is make it cheap, multi-purpose (as part of jack handle), and light.
A cross-bar wrench, use a larger one for trucks, has many design/human factors advantages. It centers torque on the fasteners, unlike any sort of L-wrench. Used properly, it can exert a large amount of torque, by centering oneself in relation to the shaft to the lugnut, and pulling up on one with the same effort as pushing down on the other. Simple, but I have seen people not doing it properly. It also spins lugnuts off/on real fast (but hand-start first, like all threaded fasteners). I have a real good feel for 100 ft. lbs., but check with torque wrench.
I tighten what I can up in the air, finish on ground. Front wheels on a rear-wheel-drive vehicle will spin easily, since there is no parking brake nor axle shaft to trans link. For those, using the cross-bar wrench on lug nut, I first jerk them CW to get some snugness. When all snug, then turn wrench CCW to rotate wheel some CCW, and then quickly snap back CW, using the inertia of the tire/wheel/hub assembly to allow me to tighten it a lot more. Then finish on ground, as mentioned by one of the earlier posters, by lowering jack enough to put just enough weight on tire to prevent tire turning during final tightening.
Retorque wheels - IIRC, this was not much of an issue with steel wheels, but became an issue with the advent of aluminum wheels. When I have wheels off for rotation or other work, I retorque a day or two later, depends on miles driven. I always use torque wrench, 1/2" drive and 6-point sockets. Not unusual to get a little bit of further tightening when retorqueing.
I have never lost a wheel, nor have had any loose lug nut problems.
When it comes to being sure that the wheel is properly seated on the hub, my personal experience has been that FWD cars are by far the worst, due to the extreme positive offset of the wheels. Meaning, the wheel's structure that ties the wheel's rim to the wheel's hub area, is biased far to the outside (closest to the person). It makes the wheel assembly very "tippy" when trying to install, and easy for it either not to seat properly, or unseat itself as you start lug nuts.
One last thought, not doable by all... (hey, that's YOUR problem, I can do it fine!
)... Instead of trying to lift tire onto hub using the back, if you can squat, do so, with knees splayed outwards. Hold tire a little bit below 9 and 3, with forearms resting on knees a bit back from wrists. Press down on elbows using arm muscles, using your forearms as levers acting upon your knees as fulcrums, to lift the tire. Maybe this could be a new yoga position.