What do you want?

Khan

Khan

Gone but not forgotten
Joined
Aug 23, 2006
Messages
6,924
Spinning off from: Finding Contentment...I guess that is the goal??
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All my life I have been told what I want.

To get married
To have children
To have a big house
To have a luxury car
To have cool toys
To have 'in' clothes, jewelry, shoes...

For a while I believed some of it.

I realized that I don't want most of what I'm told I should.

What have you found you don't want, that you have been told you do?




​
 
I was told by my mom way back when I was in my early teens to find the love of my life and treat her with respect and love her till the end of time. To find that right person and be happy. Everything else is well secondary.

Always was told to strive to educate myself, be friendly happy and make the right choices.

Never was big on material things but have always lived within my means and have had and continue to be happy as a pig in you know what with one fantastic lady. And all the things needed in 2008 and not owe anyone much money!
 
Moneeeeeeey (Pink Floyd).

Not because I am greedy... because I want to ER.
 
Once I realized I was driven by genetic coding, cultural instruction, and ego-almost all the wants I did have, disappeared or were mitigated to a great degree.
 
I would like my very conservative 35/65 portfolio to perform to historical averages (or at least 70% of that!). Seeing my large-cap US/Foreign fall -1.35%, small/mid-cap fall -1.03%, and bonds fall -1.10% the past 2 days, I feel like I have nowhere to invest.

While I am at it, I would like the winning numbers to tonight's Lotto.
 
wanna cookie. hadda cookie (Dubbla Chokladflarn from Ikea). want oatmeal.
 
I'd like the effing AC at work to get fixed post haste. 80+F and rising...

I'd like the capital markets to start making some sort of sense again, too.
 
i'm sorry, was someone talking to me? i've always been too self-centered to pay attention to what the world might have said i should want. i learned early that the world interferes with my self-absorption only when i have failed to accomplish one of its minimal requirements. so i walk the dog, i take out the garbage, i do my homework and get good grades with minimal effort and then i am free to return to daydreaming.

i don't just avert my attention to advertisements or societal expectations. apparently i have gotten so good at this that you can be one of my very good friends, spot me at an intersection, pull up along side of me, start honking your horn like a crazy person and i might not even know that you are there. fortunately, i have some very understanding friends. and that's really all i ever wanted.
 
Khan said:
All my life I have been told what I want.

To get married
To have children
To have a big house
To have a luxury car
To have cool toys
To have 'in' clothes, jewelry, shoes...

For a while I believed some of it.

I realized that I don't want most of what I'm told I should.

What have you found you don't want, that you have been told you do?

​
Click to expand...

All of the above. Except for the husband, I got none of them. And that is all I need on that list. I am baffled by commercials showing the latest/greatest/must-have item and amazed that so many people are willing to sit through so much advertising in order to watch TV--there are thankfully no ads in my books--yet!

Oh, and yeah, about the capital market, that too!
 
Lemme see...

DW and I thought we wanted kids, realized we didn't. Still have second thoughts some times, probably primarily from societal pressure.

Big house -- always wanted a 6000 sq foot house. Now we'd like a nicer house, but 2000 sq ft is just about big enough. Have enough trouble maintaining and cleaning what we've got now.

To work until age 65 -- I'm sure that's universal on this board, but we're pretty much told how to live -- 40-45 years at the office.

The latest technological gadgets. I'm a fairly late adopter of a lot of things. No desire for an iPhone, not much for a Wii.

A number of other things I find I still do want: I drive a BMW, MIL has a vacation house that we'll purchase from her estate (hopefully not for another 30 years, though), we'll probably get a nicer house before retiring.
 
I am with you Khan. I was told I should want all things on your list. I don't need or want anything on the list except the great spouse.

The clothes and jewelry were important to me a one time. I heard Suze Orman (sorry....) say once that women needed to realize that "if it's on your ass, it isn't an asset". I was deep in to my accummulation stage and started looking at those clothes purchases a little different.

I have never been into toys and cool cars. My current ride is a Yaris. Big houses, ours is much bigger than I ever wanted (2600 sq ft). I was over ruled by the spouse and we got more house than we need. But that's his happiness....

What is important are relationships and a secure life. I retired early because of that LBYM motto that I have had most of my life. I splurge on travel and experiences not toys and "things".

I know that the day I die, my kids will be calling goodwill to pick up 80% of my "things".
 
I did not want any of the listed. Ended up getting married, so got one on the list. What I really wanted in life is peace quiet and harmony. No did not get them either.
grin.gif
Maybe in next reincarnation.
 
Khan said:
What have you found you don't want, that you have been told you do?
Click to expand...
"Why, you're too young to retire and be put out to pasture!!"

I wanted to live in a big house in Hawaii with two hot chicks, and that happened too... just not quite the way I expected it to...
 
> What have you found you don't want, that you have been told you do?

I was told I wanted stuff but I found out I wanted time.
 
Kronk said:
2000 sq ft is just about big enough. Have enough trouble maintaining and cleaning what we've got now.
Click to expand...
Yes indeed!

I remember once purchasing a magazine on luxury yachts. It was great fun looking at the glossy photos and imagining owning one and entertaining all my friends on board. And that vicarious fantasy experience did not involve insurance or maintenance hassles, having to pay for a full-time crew, etc.

Kronk said:
The latest technological gadgets. I'm a fairly late adopter of a lot of things. No desire for an iPhone, not much for a Wii.
Click to expand...
I don't even know what those things are. I guess an iPhone is some sort of cell phone (I don't have a cell phone)? What is a Wii?

Kronk said:
A number of other things I find I still do want: I drive a BMW, MIL has a vacation house that we'll purchase from her estate (hopefully not for another 30 years, though), we'll probably get a nicer house before retiring.
Click to expand...
I don't think it's wrong to want (a reasonable amount of) 'stuff', if you can afford it. A few carefully-selected luxuries can help make life more enjoyable.

Personally, I would like to own an airplane. I have the cash set aside and perhaps I will get one soon enough, but I'm not in any rush ... my life is full enough without it.
 
>What have you found you don"t want that you have been told you do?

A few things which come to mind immediately are competitiveness, religion, wealth, (I do want "enough") status, power and stuff (I do want the necessities plus a little and freedom from wage slavery, which is the point of FIRE, isn't it?) I also want enough computer literacy to know how to quote one line of a post in my reply.
 
Milton said:
I don't even know what those things are. I guess an iPhone is some sort of cell phone (I don't have a cell phone)? What is a Wii?
Click to expand...

Man, Milton, what rock have you been hiding under?!? ;) The iPhone is indeed a cellphone, developed by Apple. It's also an MP3, photo and video player, as well as a mobile internet device. My wife has one, and I'll probably get the new version that was just announced in a few months.

The Wii is a video game console developed by Nintendo. It uses a joystick with an accelerometer in it so that you can move your arm in a "normal" fashion to control game play. A friend has one, and the bowling game in particular is fairly realistic (although I don't walk toward the screen, just move my arm).

noworkethic said:
I also want enough computer literacy to know how to quote one line of a post in my reply.
Click to expand...

You can always just hit the "Quote" button at the bottom right of the post you want to quote, and highlight and delete any text you don't wish to quote.
 
You can always just hit the "Quote" button at the bottom right of the post you want to quote, and highlight and delete any text you don't wish to quote.[/quote]


Muchas gracias (before edit)

Why no blue background? (after edit) Sorry everyone. Won't waste your time with my computer deficiencies anymore.
 
Last edited:
I thought I wanted a big house to host parties in. We got the big house, but have had very few parties. It turns out that I I liked the idea of parties, but actually having lots of people around wears me out. I didn't realize back then that I'm an introvert.

I thought I didn't want kids. DW thought she didn't, either. We changed our minds in our 30s, and I'm glad. I love them more than I knew I could. Glad we got that bigger house, too, since all their junk fits. ;)

Mostly, what I DO want is a good book or a good movie, and some quiet time to enjoy it. With 2 small kids underfoot, that's harder to come by these days. :)
 
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