Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-12-2016, 09:07 AM   #81
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 291
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2017ish View Post
This is so familiar. I've joked with my wife, as I urge her to be more involved: "what if I go off with some hot young thing and take all the money?" Her response: "you won't."

Hmmm. Maybe she means, "You have no chance in hell of finding such a hot young thing"?

No ...... she means she will kill you first. That is why you have no chance.
MrLoco is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-12-2016, 02:03 PM   #82
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 7,451
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danmar View Post
These were my thoughts as well. Quite surprised at the apparent bipolar financial nature of many of the marriages referred to here. Maybe opposites attract? Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.
I carry a $500k insurance policy to cover her learning curve.

Opposites bring excitement and variety to a marriage but can be a little unsettling at times...
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2016, 03:11 PM   #83
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by ponyboy View Post
Im shocked that so many users here struggle with their partner when it comes to finances. Not sure how you can go through a lifelong commitment (for some) and not be on the same page when it comes to finances.
In our house we are both on the same page philosophically when it comes to money. But in terms of implementation of that philosophy we have different interests and roles. I'm the strategic guy - investments, taxes, "the big picture." She handles bill paying, cash flow, the nitty-gritty. If I were in charge of that I'd probably pay bills late and have to pay credit card interest as a result, bounce checks, etc. She ensures none of that happens. I, unlike her, really enjoy all the investment stuff, looking for good CD rates, etc. Unfortunately, one of will have to take on a new job someday. But right now it's an excellent division of labor.
__________________
friar1610
friar1610 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2016, 03:53 PM   #84
Full time employment: Posting here.
Taxman59's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 605
I made arrangements with a trusted friend who is a CPA, trust officer and former co-worker who DW knows and trusts. She meets with us once a year (I meet with her at least once more to give updates), and we go over the status of the plan. Margaret knows how he plan is set up, and what is to happen over time, and another friend is the investment guy who DW also knows who will keep the investments on track. If I go first, Margaret will step in to keep DW on the retirement glide path.




Have the day you deserve, and let Karma sort it out.

Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
Taxman59 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2016, 04:46 PM   #85
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
GravitySucks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Syracuse
Posts: 3,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by ponyboy View Post
Im shocked that so many users here struggle with their partner when it comes to finances. Not sure how you can go through a lifelong commitment (for some) and not be on the same page when it comes to finances.
We were both LBYM and both wanted to spend more on vacations than on a bigger house or expensive cars. So spending wise we were right about on the same page.
Luckily, she was not the cheapskate I am so the girls (and I) weren't wearing burlap sack cloth clothes.
__________________
“No, not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing"
GravitySucks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2016, 07:24 PM   #86
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 272
I guess it is easier if both spouses are on the same page, in terms of spending habits. But doesn't always work out that way.

I tend to spend much less than my wife. I am more risk averse than she is, while she is more inclined to live for the moment.

I also value experiences much more than material goods. For example, I could care less what sort of car I drive, so long as it is reliable. But three weeks in the Greek Islands would make me very happy. Wife likes her fancy SUV, various handbags, nice clothes, etc.

But is OK because neither of us are totally extreme.
medved is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2016, 05:24 AM   #87
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,393
Quote:
Originally Posted by friar1610 View Post
In our house we are both on the same page philosophically when it comes to money. But in terms of implementation of that philosophy we have different interests and roles. I'm the strategic guy - investments, taxes, "the big picture." She handles bill paying, cash flow, the nitty-gritty. If I were in charge of that I'd probably pay bills late and have to pay credit card interest as a result, bounce checks, etc. She ensures none of that happens. I, unlike her, really enjoy all the investment stuff, looking for good CD rates, etc. Unfortunately, one of will have to take on a new job someday. But right now it's an excellent division of labor.
That's pretty close to our approach. She looks after the credit cards (checks them every morning and allocates them to expense categories), I look after paying them every month (we call this our "cut off") on her instruction. She does all the travel booking while I look after insurance and property management. I do investments but always consult before hand. She maintains her own bank and investment accounts and is wealthy in her own right. Segregation of duties makes sense but a little cross training is wise I think. The key is that she understands everything, knows where everything is, and is capable and interested.
Danmar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2016, 07:53 PM   #88
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Katsmeow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: DFW Area (Tx)
Posts: 4,785
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danmar View Post
Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.
I wouldn't say that DH doesn't have some interest, but in a sense he never had to have a lot of interest. He knew he would be getting a traditional DB pension (or lump sum in lieu of pension) and he was contributing to a 401(k) and getting the maximum employer match when he and I got married. He know that from those 2 things alone he would have enough money to meet his retirement needs.

On the other hand, I didn't have a pension and so my situation was different. When we got married I was more detail oriented. I had been doing a budget using a computer program from before we got married. So, I just kept doing it after we got married. He had never done a budget program before. I enjoyed doing it and he had never felt the need for it. Perhaps the difference is that I tend to be more of a spender than he is. I record every penny I spend in my budget program for the same reason I record every calorie I eat and weigh myself every day. Both of them keep me on track. He could stay on track with spending without doing that.

He and I are both mostly buy and hold type investors. I do most of the deciding as to what to buy although if I am making a big change we talk about it (mostly because I insist). It isn't that he isn't interested, he just thinks that I have researched it and so he accepts it.

But, if I wasn't here, I am sure he could handle the investments. He could also pay the bills although I'm sure he wouldn't do the detailed budgeting and recording that I do.

He and I share plenty of interests, but there are things he is interested in that I'm not interested in and vice versa.
Katsmeow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2016, 03:52 PM   #89
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 22,763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danmar View Post
Maybe opposites attract? Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.
I tried that once, it wasn't pretty and did not end well. But at least I wasn't stuck with alimony and child support like so many others I knew.

And I learned the lesson well:

Next month will be 27 years with DW. She is somewhat more financially conservative than I am but it works for us.

Joking with a guy at work one time, I told the story of when we were dating, she came over wearing a pair of jeans that had a small hole in the back where the fabric had worn through. I mentioned that to her and she said "Yeah, I know, but I hate shopping".

I told the guy that I immediately fell to my knees and proposed.

Not really, but it was one of those "Hmmm...." moments.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Set up accounts as gift location for kids? stephenson FIRE and Money 24 12-26-2015 10:14 AM
Wife Won't Get My SS When I Die- How To Make Projections? Cheesehead FIRE and Money 31 03-07-2014 10:54 AM
November I Bond rate set with a .2% fixed composite set at 1.38% Mulligan FIRE and Money 1 11-10-2013 05:02 PM
Does anybody have a feeling they have too many online accounts? Mulligan Other topics 30 08-30-2011 01:56 PM
How many more of my Newark kids have to die. dumpster56 Other topics 1 07-14-2007 09:23 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:07 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.