How have you set up accounts for wife if you die first??

[braumeister]

Discussions like this also make me feel less alone.
The max interest I can get out of DW is at the end of each calendar year I show her all the numbers, run through the spreadsheets, and generally lay out the plan for the next year. Her eyes begin to glaze over after 30 seconds, but she dutifully pays attention and then ignores it all until next year.

Fortunately, she is smarter than I am so she won't have any real problem when I get hit by the beer truck.

 

[splitwdw]

My husband is not interested in investing. He doesn't want to learn. He use to think that a savings account and CD's were the only safe way to save. I give him a financial report every week. I give him a hard copy and a flash drive of all login information and security questions. He keeps them in our safe. He's finally come around to my investing in the stock market. He no longer asks me if we should sell our stock in a market downturn. I've told him if anything happens to me to leave everything how I have it set up. If he has any questions after I'm gone to talk to a friend of ours that's financially knowledgeable.

 

[GravitySucks]

DW had no desire to manage the finances and was very risk adverse. (Thought everything should be in CDs or US bonds.) All she wanted to know is if my life insurance was sufficient. Anything else she figured BIL would take care.
I'd tell her every year that I had enough term life for her to dance through the Caribbean with her grief counselor Raul for ten years then she'd have to go back to work or live off the 401k. That's all she wanted to hear.
Neither of us figured she'd go first.

 

[kgtest]

I suspect she is not going to like managing your rentals, either. The Fido and Vanguard people can provide some guidance on the paper assets, but finding a property manager that won't make you spin in your grave is going to be next to impossible for her. Better to have a plan in place for managing or liquidating the rentals before that happens.

Don't forget that pesky estate tax that kicks in for estates worth more than 1.6million. I think if you are near your states estate tax amount, or just slightly above it you might want to spend down some money, or donate.

 

[Danmar]

Im shocked that so many users here struggle with their partner when it comes to finances. Not sure how you can go through a lifelong commitment (for some) and not be on the same page when it comes to finances.

Doesnt matter who dies first in my relationship...it would not make a difference. Wife knows where to invest money, who to trust, who not to trust...guess it pays finding someone who can work as a team and is also independent.

These were my thoughts as well. Quite surprised at the apparent bipolar financial nature of many of the marriages referred to here. Maybe opposites attract? Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.

 

[MrLoco]

This is so familiar. I've joked with my wife, as I urge her to be more involved: "what if I go off with some hot young thing and take all the money?" Her response: "you won't."

Hmmm. Maybe she means, "You have no chance in hell of finding such a hot young thing"?

No ...... she means she will kill you first. That is why you have no chance.

 

[kcowan]

These were my thoughts as well. Quite surprised at the apparent bipolar financial nature of many of the marriages referred to here. Maybe opposites attract? Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.

I carry a $500k insurance policy to cover her learning curve.

Opposites bring excitement and variety to a marriage but can be a little unsettling at times...

 

[friar1610]

Im shocked that so many users here struggle with their partner when it comes to finances. Not sure how you can go through a lifelong commitment (for some) and not be on the same page when it comes to finances.

In our house we are both on the same page philosophically when it comes to money. But in terms of implementation of that philosophy we have different interests and roles. I'm the strategic guy - investments, taxes, "the big picture." She handles bill paying, cash flow, the nitty-gritty. If I were in charge of that I'd probably pay bills late and have to pay credit card interest as a result, bounce checks, etc. She ensures none of that happens. I, unlike her, really enjoy all the investment stuff, looking for good CD rates, etc. Unfortunately, one of will have to take on a new job someday. But right now it's an excellent division of labor.

 

[Taxman59]

I made arrangements with a trusted friend who is a CPA, trust officer and former co-worker who DW knows and trusts. She meets with us once a year (I meet with her at least once more to give updates), and we go over the status of the plan. Margaret knows how he plan is set up, and what is to happen over time, and another friend is the investment guy who DW also knows who will keep the investments on track. If I go first, Margaret will step in to keep DW on the retirement glide path.




Have the day you deserve, and let Karma sort it out.

Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[GravitySucks]

Im shocked that so many users here struggle with their partner when it comes to finances. Not sure how you can go through a lifelong commitment (for some) and not be on the same page when it comes to finances.

We were both LBYM and both wanted to spend more on vacations than on a bigger house or expensive cars. So spending wise we were right about on the same page.
Luckily, she was not the cheapskate I am so the girls (and I) weren't wearing burlap sack cloth clothes.

 

[medved]

I guess it is easier if both spouses are on the same page, in terms of spending habits. But doesn't always work out that way.

I tend to spend much less than my wife. I am more risk averse than she is, while she is more inclined to live for the moment.

I also value experiences much more than material goods. For example, I could care less what sort of car I drive, so long as it is reliable. But three weeks in the Greek Islands would make me very happy. Wife likes her fancy SUV, various handbags, nice clothes, etc.

But is OK because neither of us are totally extreme.

 

[Danmar]

In our house we are both on the same page philosophically when it comes to money. But in terms of implementation of that philosophy we have different interests and roles. I'm the strategic guy - investments, taxes, "the big picture." She handles bill paying, cash flow, the nitty-gritty. If I were in charge of that I'd probably pay bills late and have to pay credit card interest as a result, bounce checks, etc. She ensures none of that happens. I, unlike her, really enjoy all the investment stuff, looking for good CD rates, etc. Unfortunately, one of will have to take on a new job someday. But right now it's an excellent division of labor.

That's pretty close to our approach. She looks after the credit cards (checks them every morning and allocates them to expense categories), I look after paying them every month (we call this our "cut off") on her instruction. She does all the travel booking while I look after insurance and property management. I do investments but always consult before hand. She maintains her own bank and investment accounts and is wealthy in her own right. Segregation of duties makes sense but a little cross training is wise I think. The key is that she understands everything, knows where everything is, and is capable and interested.

 

[Katsmeow]

Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.

I wouldn't say that DH doesn't have some interest, but in a sense he never had to have a lot of interest. He knew he would be getting a traditional DB pension (or lump sum in lieu of pension) and he was contributing to a 401(k) and getting the maximum employer match when he and I got married. He know that from those 2 things alone he would have enough money to meet his retirement needs.

On the other hand, I didn't have a pension and so my situation was different. When we got married I was more detail oriented. I had been doing a budget using a computer program from before we got married. So, I just kept doing it after we got married. He had never done a budget program before. I enjoyed doing it and he had never felt the need for it. Perhaps the difference is that I tend to be more of a spender than he is. I record every penny I spend in my budget program for the same reason I record every calorie I eat and weigh myself every day. Both of them keep me on track. He could stay on track with spending without doing that.

He and I are both mostly buy and hold type investors. I do most of the deciding as to what to buy although if I am making a big change we talk about it (mostly because I insist). It isn't that he isn't interested, he just thinks that I have researched it and so he accepts it.

But, if I wasn't here, I am sure he could handle the investments. He could also pay the bills although I'm sure he wouldn't do the detailed budgeting and recording that I do.

He and I share plenty of interests, but there are things he is interested in that I'm not interested in and vice versa.

 

[Walt34]

Maybe opposites attract? Not being critical, but I don't think I would be attracted to someone who didn't display at least some interest in financial matters.

I tried that once, it wasn't pretty and did not end well. But at least I wasn't stuck with alimony and child support like so many others I knew.

And I learned the lesson well:

Next month will be 27 years with DW. She is somewhat more financially conservative than I am but it works for us.

Joking with a guy at work one time, I told the story of when we were dating, she came over wearing a pair of jeans that had a small hole in the back where the fabric had worn through. I mentioned that to her and she said "Yeah, I know, but I hate shopping".

I told the guy that I immediately fell to my knees and proposed.

Not really, but it was one of those "Hmmm...." moments.