AnIntentionalRoad
Recycles dryer sheets
There is another Awkward Wealth Moments thread active right now. Consider this a thread for when revealing wealth becomes more than just awkward, like affecting relationships.
When I retired it was a year after selling a company. I made enough from the transaction and my previous savings to be FI and retired a year later (though I call it a sabbatical to all but my closest friends and family).
Here's the problem. My mother knows my net worth. She is currently undergoing cancer treatment and her prognosis is uncertain. Since my brother and sister live 2 hours away, I am her main support person when she needs rides to doctors, help around the house, and I manage all her administrative needs, finances, taxes, etc.
We are now working with an attorney to create a new will and trust. When it came down to answering how she wanted assets distributed she wants me to be the executor of the estate and she wants all the assets put into a trust for my younger brother who is a nice guy but also a never-do-well who can't hold a job.
Then upon his death, if there are any assets left, they should be distributed to my brother's son (currently 6 yo) as if the son is destined to also be a never-do-well.
If the son and grandson are not alive, then the assets would go to my sister's kids, and if they are not alive, to my children.
She says that this is because I and my children don't need the money. I agree I don't but my children are not me. It hurts because it reinforces all the insecurities I carry about mine and my children's "rank" in the family. I actually lobbied her to put my children equal with the other grandkids in the will (not me, my children) but she wouldn't hear of it.
Of course it is totally her call and I told her I support her doing whatever she thinks is right, and I am upholding that, but it feels bad and I'm afraid it may cause lingering resentment.
What situations have you faced where your FI status has affected close relationships?
When I retired it was a year after selling a company. I made enough from the transaction and my previous savings to be FI and retired a year later (though I call it a sabbatical to all but my closest friends and family).
Here's the problem. My mother knows my net worth. She is currently undergoing cancer treatment and her prognosis is uncertain. Since my brother and sister live 2 hours away, I am her main support person when she needs rides to doctors, help around the house, and I manage all her administrative needs, finances, taxes, etc.
We are now working with an attorney to create a new will and trust. When it came down to answering how she wanted assets distributed she wants me to be the executor of the estate and she wants all the assets put into a trust for my younger brother who is a nice guy but also a never-do-well who can't hold a job.
Then upon his death, if there are any assets left, they should be distributed to my brother's son (currently 6 yo) as if the son is destined to also be a never-do-well.
If the son and grandson are not alive, then the assets would go to my sister's kids, and if they are not alive, to my children.
She says that this is because I and my children don't need the money. I agree I don't but my children are not me. It hurts because it reinforces all the insecurities I carry about mine and my children's "rank" in the family. I actually lobbied her to put my children equal with the other grandkids in the will (not me, my children) but she wouldn't hear of it.
Of course it is totally her call and I told her I support her doing whatever she thinks is right, and I am upholding that, but it feels bad and I'm afraid it may cause lingering resentment.
What situations have you faced where your FI status has affected close relationships?