Any other 30-40somethings FIREd?

[bunnybunny]

Long story short: right place, right time, big exit, $$$. 38 yo now with 1 child whom I love.

Feels a bit weird because anyone my age that I encounter has a job. Sometimes struggling, sometimes doing fine, but always working. I've never said to anyone except my closest friends that I'm "retired" because it's so socially awkward.

Hell, even the people I meet who are young and wealthy still want to work, for some reason. They still do consultancies and run businesses and really seem addicted to the grind. I enjoyed my time working in a startup but have no desire to return to it. I sometimes feel like a lazy useless POS, but hell, at least I am a good and attentive stay at home dad who cooks, does the dishes, and gets to the gym pretty regularly. Just wondering sometimes if that's supposed to be all there is to it.

Anyone else here in the same boat? I visited the "Young Dreamers" forum but it seems like the young people there are still trying to achieve FIRE. The few people in their 30s that have FIREd tend to live very frugally. I'm not a big spender by any means but I'm also not eating instant noodles out of a studio apartment. I've done the math and even a 3% return on portfolio will be a comfortable lifestyle for me and my family even if we live forever.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I'm 45... almost FIRED; my portfolio will support a <4% WR at my current standard of living. I'm currently working a bit longer to build a bit more liquidity without selling assets and for a few other reasons (some of which probably fall under excuses).


Most of my friends and acquaintances are younger and work full time (and live at/above their means). I'm more active than most people my own age and am single with no kids. I'll likely earn some pay as an alibi (doing whatever I want and nothing I don't) to get paid to explore various interests or as a forcing function to get out -I enjoy socializing but lean towards introversion and don't want to die a "rich" lonely shut-in. I know I'll have to set up routines to get out and stay active.

 

[FIREd]

I am 45 and FIREd. I haven’t worked in 9 years. I live well on less than 2% of assets. I don’t fit in with the usual crowd of 30-40 year olds (Single, no kids, no career, no mortgage payments, no money worries, etc...). I have friends but I spend most of the week doing my own thing and it suits me just fine. After 9 years, I don’t feel the social sting of the young [-]slacker[/-] FIREd much anymore.

 

[audreyh1]

No longer in this category, but was when I started.
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f29/twenty-years-early-retired-today-99128.html

Congratulations on 20 years! I am where you were 20 years ago. I got lucky and made a bunch of money and now I'm 38 with no desire to return to the office. But as I'm sure you know it's a bit socially isolating and a lot of days I wake up not quite knowing what to do with myself. I have sports and hobbies and a family, but sometimes there are almost too many hours in the day. What advice would you give the 39 year old you?

We had tons to do. We retired when we could so that we could do all those other things work prevented us from doing. No kids to keep us home. We traveled a great deal. We developed new hobbies - more like some old latent interests that came to the forefront when we finally had time and means. We developed new friendships, although they did tend to be older people at first.

We were quickly in the category of new retirees that say “My god, how did I ever have time to work!?!”

I don’t have any advice to give a 39 year old me. It just worked. I gave myself plenty of time to decompress from work, and gave myself permission to experiment to see what became higher priority. It turned out some things became unimportant, which was not expected, and other things became of key interest. So, I went with the flow. Looking back it was just right.

 

[scrabbler1]

I retired 11 years ago at 45. I have always been an outlier, so adding FIRE to the list of things which makes me different from most people isn't a big deal. I worked part-time for 7 years before I FIREd in late 2008, so I left the full-time working world at age 38. My WR is in the 2%-2.5% range, and one requirement for me to FRE was that there would no changes to my everyday life.

 

[Aerides]

I sometimes feel like a lazy useless POS, but hell, at least I am a good and attentive stay at home dad who cooks, does the dishes, and gets to the gym pretty regularly. Just wondering sometimes if that's supposed to be all there is to it.

Well what else do you WANT to do? If nothing, then yup that's fine. Travel, is going to be something to add if you like, but probably after your kid is a bit older. But yes you don't have to feel productive. Feeling lazy and useless is a bit odd so you might want to consider expanding on other activities (volunteer, hobbies, get involved with kid's school, or go back to school, learn to fly, garden?)

We RE'd mid-ish 40's and yeah... you can't exactly tell anyone in your peer group without getting odd looks. For your close friends, that's one thing, but outside that group, invent something simple. "working on independent investments blah blah" or something. I have a small hobby business which, while it's nowhere near a full time gig, is enough to resolve the inevitable "what do you do?" questions.

 

[griffithee]

I retired at 44, six years ago. DW retired at 41, four years ago. Neither one of us has taken paid employment since the day we walked. We did let the GI Bill pay us a monthly stipend for a little bit for something to do. I go my BS in Computer Science and she got a photography certification. DS is going into second grade next week. DW and I spend a lot of time at his school in addition to our own hobbies and activities. DW still like to work from a daily "to-do" list which keeps her busy. I OTOH just go with the flow of the day. Hit the gym, do some BJJ, read, or just take naps. Good luck in retirement.

 

[marko]

When I first RE'd I went to a friend who owns a small boutique style grocery store. 'Just to keep busy', I asked him if he needed any part-time help.

He said: "What the hell is wrong with you?! You're doing what everybody else wishes they could do! Go sit on the beach."

Which is what I did.

 

[YeahNo]

I'm your exact age and in the same boat. I actually had a 4 year sabbatical, went back to work for a couple years, then out again. The only difference is we have 2 more kids than you and that is a game changer. If you are feeling the "is this all there is" (which i've felt before too), there is one surefire way to solve that....have more kids! lol

I'd advise more travel. We take month long vacations even with the kids. Yes its challenging with them for that long but its much better than being stuck in the cold/gray all winter. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.

 

[bunnybunny]

Well what else do you WANT to do? If nothing, then yup that's fine. Travel, is going to be something to add if you like, but probably after your kid is a bit older. But yes you don't have to feel productive. Feeling lazy and useless is a bit odd so you might want to consider expanding on other activities (volunteer, hobbies, get involved with kid's school, or go back to school, learn to fly, garden?)

I definitely struggle with the lazy/useless thing. I've tried to accept "doing nothing" but it does feel wrong. Also I've read Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book _Flow_, where it's suggested that being absorbed in one's work leads to better outcomes.

Have been checking out the volunteering opportunities in the local area. Kiddo is only 1 so while she's learning lots every day, we're not at the point where I can teach her arithmetic or writing yet. I do spend 12-16 hours a day with her and if I'm grateful for anything it's that FIRE allows me/us to do that while others wish they didn't have to work so much and could spend more time with their kids at home. Looking to fill the gaps almost feels a bit ungrateful.

 

[razztazz]

Retired 23 & 1/2 years ago at 38. I have been about where you are almost continuously. (Except not a parent) For 3 yrs I dabbled at jobs for a grand total of 6 whole months! Then I just faded away. This lifestyle has always felt to me like the real way my life is supposed to be. Everything else was the faking-it part and treading water until I could get here.

What is this nonsense?:

I sometimes feel like a lazy useless POS, but hell, at least I am a good and attentive stay at home dad who cooks, does the dishes, and gets to the gym pretty regularly. Just wondering sometimes if that's supposed to be all there is to it.

"You are a Child of The Universe. No less than the moon and the stars, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt The Universe is unfolding as it should."

 

[bunnybunny]

Travel is great; we travelled all over pre-kiddo. But even a 3-hour drive to see the family seems like an ordeal, much less 10 hours to Europe or Asia. Maybe when kiddo is a bit older we can pick it up again. Or just pay for a travel nanny, heh.

The crazy thing is that I'm having these thoughts in the August summer, not the doldrums of February.

 

[Retch The Grate]

I'm in that range (47) more FI than RE at the moment, since I'd like a larger income when I decide to stop working. I had 11 months off before the current job, and while job hunting sucked, being unemployed and being able to afford it was blissful. Mornings were about taking the doggo for a 5k run at the nature preserve, then grooming the resulting burrs and foxtails out of her fur for another hour. Plenty of time to shop and cook, it was great and did a good job of telling me I will be super happy once I decide I've got enough to go to the RE part of things.

 

[Koogie]

I semi-ER'd back in 2015 when I was 42. Except for a recent couple of months of full time stupidity that has thankfully ended now, I have been doing 3 days a week/ about 42 weeks a year since then.

DW and I enjoy our "double weekends" and the money at work is still good (it basically equals our spending). I've committed to two more years at this pace and then it will be full ER.

 

[YeahNo]

Travel is great; we travelled all over pre-kiddo. But even a 3-hour drive to see the family seems like an ordeal, much less 10 hours to Europe or Asia. Maybe when kiddo is a bit older we can pick it up again. Or just pay for a travel nanny, heh.

The crazy thing is that I'm having these thoughts in the August summer, not the doldrums of February.

We road trip'd 30 hours with a 6month old and an 18 month old...I would not recommend it, ha! And that was just the drive down.

 

[tb001]

We road trip'd 30 hours with a 6month old and an 18 month old...I would not recommend it, ha! And that was just the drive down.

I can’t imagine. We did it ~10hrs split over two days with a 3yo and a 9mo old. This was part of a move and we were on a tight timeline. The last two hours were a total nightmare.

I hear it gets better around 4. Our oldest just had her 4th birthday, so we’ve still got a few years...

 

[HI Bill]

I sometimes feel like a lazy useless POS, but hell, at least I am a good and attentive stay at home dad who cooks, does the dishes, and gets to the gym pretty regularly. Just wondering sometimes if that's supposed to be all there is to it.

Sounds like you haven't found your rai·son d'ê·tre. It took me about 13 years after graduating college, but scuba diving became mine. Then, two decades later, my wife is my rai·son d'ê·tre....diving and travel are secondary.

 

[geeky_grrl]

I REd 2 years ago at 45. My SO is still working though he is FI. I have lots of hobbies to stay busy but I'd like to do more travel whenever I convince him to RE. I currently split my travel to be partly with him and partly with my sister who has also REd.

I think I may get judged less for not having a job at my age since I'm a woman and lots of my SOs coworkers have stay at home spouses.

 

[aaronc879]

Long story short: right place, right time, big exit, $$$. 38 yo now with 1 child whom I love.

How many children total?

 

[YeahNo]

I can’t imagine. We did it ~10hrs split over two days with a 3yo and a 9mo old. This was part of a move and we were on a tight timeline. The last two hours were a total nightmare.

I hear it gets better around 4. Our oldest just had her 4th birthday, so we’ve still got a few years...

Our oldest turned 4 this year as well. He's slowly getting better. Less needing of a daily exorcism.

 

[Offgrid Organic Farmer]

I could have gotten my pension when I was 38, but I took off four years and I went through college. So I did not get it until I was 42. At that time my portfolio was doing well enough that I had no problem retiring.

 

[NYEXPAT]

Fat Fire'd 33 years ago at 33. Have two son's from my second marriage, 4 and 14 yo. We have a full time Nanny and housekeeper and the Nanny always travels with us unless it is to the USA where the labor laws are ridiculous. We will do our first road trip in October for a few weeks driving between Santiago,Chile and Buenas Aires, Argentina!

 

[griffithee]

us unless it is to the USA where the labor laws are ridiculous.

I would like to peal this back a bit. What do you mean when you say the labor laws are so ridiculous that you cannot bring your nanny with you to the US? Every other country you can take your nanny but not the US? Why?

 

[NYEXPAT]

I would like to peal this back a bit. What do you mean when you say the labor laws are so ridiculous that you cannot bring your nanny with you to the US? Every other country you can take your nanny but not the US? Why?

has signed an employment contract with you containing statements that the employee is guaranteed the minimum or prevailing wage, whichever is greater, as well as free room and board, and that you will be the only one to provide work to the employee, and
will receive from you payment for initial travel expenses to the U.S. and to your subsequent assignment or to your country of normal residence at the end of the assignment.

In addition I have cover her for health insurance, Pay her taxes and hire an accountant to make sure it is all done correctly. As I am in a position where I do not need to file a return, I would not want to jeopardize that.

 

[bearkeley]

We retired in our mid 40s and now almost 5 years into retirement, still running across people who can’t relate. We are living the nomadic lifestyle half the year and enjoying it. We have been telling people that we manage rental properties, out of guilt (especially meeting older folks in retirement age with jobs) , but mostly to avoid the awkwardness.