Interest in old friends have changed

[Cobra9777]

I was a workaholic, so all my post-college friends were work-related. When I first retired 5 years ago, I was having lunch with somebody once or twice a month, probably 5 or 6 different people. That's now dwindled down to 2 people, each once or twice per year. These two are true friends. One was my boss for a long period in the middle of my career. The other was a direct report for about the last 10 years. We rarely talk about work stuff except I sometimes ask about: where's person X now?... or who has position Y? They always ask me what it's like to be retired as they both ponder what they'll do to fill their day and massage their ego post-Mega.

I'm INTJ as well and I enjoy not having to endure the awkward social game at Megacorp. But I definitely still appreciate the relationships that built up over many years, at least for these two. My interest in sustaining these relationships hasn't really changed. I suspect we'll get together more after they're retired as well. Or maybe not. It's all good.

DW is different and she is having a harder time adjusting to the lack of daily interaction with her friends/coworkers. I think that's why she kept working 3 years after I retired.

 

[Music Lover]

People you worked with are, (with very few exceptions), simply people you worked with.

Reading some of the comments, I'm one of the few exceptions. But, I "grew up" in a large govt office having worked there from age 19 until I retired at age 53. When you work in a large building with hundreds of people for 3 decades you can't help but meet some people with common interests.

I made several good friends over the years...we played on sports teams, played in bands, went out for drinks, dated one another, went to each others weddings, etc. Some people were just work friends, of course, but the real friends I made are still friends now that I've been retired for 2.5 years.

 

[Redbugdave]

I have been retired for four years now. I occasionally have lunch with a couple work buddies that are friends. Work and the job are a distant memory and I am surrounded by friends of my new life. I have nothing in common anymore with the place I used to work at.

 

[ER Eddie]

Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting to be a lone wolf and just to do your own thing after retirement?

heh, I've felt that way my whole life.

But I think what you're feeling is natural. That chapter of your life is closed. You want to move on to something new.

 

[LOL!]

I am very happy to keep in touch with friends and will always accept a lunch or dinner meet-up. But I am also happy to do things on my own.

So I have gone wilderness canoeing/camping with friends I first met 35 years ago, but I have also gone solo for days at a time.

I've had great trips alone and great trips with friends. I would not want to give up either of those experiences.

I see no reason to not to do both. That is, open up new books, but keep old books on the shelf, too.

 

[Scuba]

I rarely connect with anyone from my last employer. Even though I was there for 10 years, I didn’t spend time outside of work with my co-workers. I do still see some of the external people I had relationships with while working, but not often.

OTOH, I’m in regular contact with friends from the Megacorp where I spent 20 years. Have a few friends from there that will be lifetime buddies, and a larger group of us gets together a couple of times a year for happy hour. We’ve all been gone for quite a few years so when we’re together, we’re focused on our post Megacorp lives rather than rehashing old workplace stuff. Probably why we enjoy getting together.

 

[Ronstar]

I very seldom talk to former work mates. I stop in the office to chat about once every 4 months and see a couple others for beers once a year.

I like being a lone wolf - doing my own thing in retirement. None of my friends/former coworkers have the same interests as me.

 

[Ginny]

I moved across the country and left all my liberal friends behind. These friends were dwindling ever since 11-2016. I am totaling enjoying the southern hospitality here and have made friends with neighbors and a social club we joined. I am getting lots of girl chat time, which I need. I enjoy being alone too with my books. I joined a book club and had serval to choose from. Work friends had all changed and I sold by business.

 

[FlaGator]

People you worked with are, (with very few exceptions), simply people you worked with.

^^^^^^^^^^This.

After 3.5 years, there are only a handful that I talk to, and that's maybe a few times a year. I also moved 600 miles away, so there is no "dropping by for lunch".