Interest in old friends have changed

[street]

Since I retired 30 month's ago I have lost interest in old friends people I worked closely with from other organizations and fellow work mates.

I get a call every once in a while from some if I want to go out for coffee and want to go for lunch etc..

I have no desire any more to do those things. I stay so busy doing my thing and found new life so I will turn them down on the offer.

Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting to be a lone wolf and just to do your own thing after retirement?

It is very awkward for me and I truly enjoy these people but have went down a new path and have enjoyed life with out of the social hype.

 

[Oz investor]

Since I retired 30 month's ago I have lost interest in old friends people I worked closely with from other organizations and fellow work mates.

I get a call every once in a while from some if I want to go out for coffee and want to go for lunch etc..

I have no desire any more to do those things. I stay so busy doing my thing and found new life so I will turn them down on the offer.

Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting to be a lone wolf and just to do your own thing after retirement?

It is very awkward for me and I truly enjoy these people but have went down a new path and have enjoyed life with out of the social hype.

that wasn't a problem for me i have outlived the family ( well the maternal side ) and about half my friends , my medical appointments make other social events very hard to plan ... take my birthday in 2016 , .. most have a party and telegram , i was surrounded by caring females having an angio-gram ( and spent the rest of the day/night in the recovery ward )

 

[CaptTom]

I haven't been back to the office in over a year. I thought I'd be there now and then, going out to lunch or whatever, much more regularly. My last two bosses are gone, although a few close co-workers are still there.

The group I'm closer with now (getting together maybe every few months) is a bunch of former employees from my department.

 

[scrabbler1]

Since I retired 30 month's ago I have lost interest in old friends people I worked closely with from other organizations and fellow work mates.

I get a call every once in a while from some if I want to go out for coffee and want to go for lunch etc..

I have no desire any more to do those things. I stay so busy doing my thing and found new life so I will turn them down on the offer.

Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting to be a lone wolf and just to do your own thing after retirement?

It is very awkward for me and I truly enjoy these people but have went down a new path and have enjoyed life with out of the social hype.

Because I hated the long, tiring, and expensive commute to my old office, I have never, ever had any desire to return there after I retired nearly 10 years ago. None of my former coworkers live very near where I live, either. I have stayed in touch with a few former coworkers, one in particular was a friend, too. I have seen him twice in those 10 years.

I don't have too many friends, always having been a lone wolf to begin with. I had been working part-time for the 7 years prior to my ER, so I was not a frequent presence at the office for a while.

Basically, when I left the company, I simply moved on.

 

[pacergal]

When I first retired, I had lunch out a few times with co workers, that fizzled out b the end of the first year. I still go out with one, who is also retired and working one day a week like me.
DH has been invited a few times with his previous co workers, but like you, he has no desire to continue the relationships. He is much happier doing his own thing.

 

[Rianne]

There was some communication, at first. Well wishes stopped after awhile. I don't have anything in common with past work friends. I still have contact with a few high school friends who also RE. I steer clear of negative people. I finally learned that negativity is contagious. It's so much healthier to be positive and be around positive people. So often, work friends breed negativity.

 

[Andre1969]

I had a few work friends that I thought I'd stay in touch with after they retired. But, it never happened. At this point, there is one lady, that I've probably known since 1995 or so, that I'd consider myself pretty good "work friends" with, at least. She moved to another project last year, though, and I've only seen her a couple times since then, although we do email and talk every once in awhile.

I would like to say I'd keep in contact with her, at least. One advantage I thought I'd have, over some people, is that my j*b is only about 2.5 miles from my current house, so it would be easy to meet up for lunch. But, I'm in the process of buying another house. It's not *that* far out, maybe another 15 miles. But, it's in a different county, and once you factor in traffic and such, and how you have to get on the highway for a bit, it just seems like a whole different world out there.

 

[Nemo2]

People you worked with are, (with very few exceptions), simply people you worked with.

 

[Aerides]

If they made it out of the "work-zone" and to the group I'd truly consider friends, then I love to catch up. Small group. You don't go "back to the office" to see them, you have relationships outside of that.

If they aren't someone you want to spend time for a coffee with...then they probably aren't someone you'd ever have really called a friend.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I’ll have coffee with almost anyone, not a big deal. If you have anything in common with someone other than just work (a hobby, sense of humor, shared experiences), why not?9 You can’t go back in time and make old friends.

 

[Newventurer]

Nope! INTJ, the social side was always an effort and not always genuine. Now I can be me and not have it show up on my annual review - DW gives me a daily review

 

[street]

For me it has been rewarding to meet new people and have found them way more interesting and fun to be around.

Most of the people I like to hang with even if it isn't much is friends that really don't have much in life. I find them more genuine and love their ways of life.

 

[candrew]

There are several former colleagues who I w*rked closely together with for 35 years. Two of them are still in the salt mine. I will be entering my 2nd year of retirement this November and have only dropped in to the office for a visit once since departing. Not sure that I'll do it again.

 

[Dtail]

To some extent similar to me. I do not keep in contact with any former work colleagues, as I don't wish to know any of the gossip, complaints, etc.
We moved to Florida and have made wonderful new friends. Some are retired and some not.

 

[Huston55]

You made me count.

We have seven individuals/couples from work with whom we remain in close contact. I am very surprised there are that many, especially considering we’re geographically separated from all of them except for one. Still though, we stay in fairly close contact with all seven, and have seen five of them in the past year. I guess I’m less reclusive than I thought.

 

[Moemg]

I did a lot of social things with my co-worker friends so this has continued just not as much .

 

[jollystomper]

Not yet for me. I did like many of the folks I work with. Before retiring, since many of us worked from home, we would have an informal lunch, approximately weekly, in the area that we'd let everyone know about and whoever chose to make it would show up. Since retiring I have attended that once. There is also a golfing tournament the office holds that they invite retirees to participate in, and I will attend that.

So I am still socializing, but not as much. The folks still working understand. My current plan is to attend an event on average every other month. I think that is plenty of contact for a retiree.

 

[Teacher Terry]

My work friends were not my true friends. I spent a lot of time with my friends. Most I worked with are retired and never see them.

 

[youbet]

ffer.

Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting to be a lone wolf and just to do your own thing after retirement?

The best thing about FIRE is that you have time to do both, and plenty of each. I like to see friends (work friends, hobby friends, lifetime friends, college friends, even some elementary and high school friends from "back in da 'hood' " in inner city Chicago where I grew up) fairly frequently. But I also enjoy days where I see literally no one (including Internet friends). Both kinds of days are good.

Are you saying that even with plenty of time to spend alone, you still want to avoid people-contact altogether 365 days a year? That would be too much aloneness for me........

 

[street]

Are you saying that even with plenty of time to spend alone, you still want to avoid people-contact altogether 365 days a year? That would be too much aloneness for me........

No I think everyone needs people in their life. I just don't have the interest to do things or be around the people I worked with all those years. I consider them great people but after the working years I have found others more fun to be around.

 

[Bamaman]

We had about 10 coworkers.that traveled throughout the Southeast on projects. And we had another 20 people back in the regional office in Atlanta. We.spent week after week working together and going out nights on the company expense account.

Megacorp consolidated operations up north and those under 30 years on the job/55 years old were laid off. Those over 55 took retirement.

Even as close as we.were, no one ever even talks to each other. A few are on Facebook, but they don't regularly communicate.

 

[street]

^ that is what I'm talking about. Life just changes new journeys, new friends and different paths to follow.

 

[imoldernu]

Last co-workers were 34 years ago. No one left. Even the snowbird friends who are still alive in FL... we only hear from on occasion. Moved to our CCRC in 2004 so most of our friends are here. Times change, life changes, energy, shared interests and togetherness change. No guilt, no regrets, but many nice memories.
........................................................................
Would have left it there, but just today received a newsy letter from my very best friend from college. Best, Best friend. Has me back in my college year book. Jeanie and I and Hody and Mary were close for four years in school, and for 50 years after, even when we were 1500 miles apart.

 

[kimcdougc]

DH hasn't called or even went back to see old friends he worked with. He has been retired 3 1/2 years. I ask him about it and he just says he isn't ready to talk to or see any of them yet. Don't think he will ever be ready. Life goes on with new people and new adventures.

 

[youbet]

No I think everyone needs people in their life. I just don't have the interest to do things or be around the people I worked with all those years. I consider them great people but after the working years I have found others more fun to be around.

Oh. Your OP didn't distinctly spell out acquaintances from work.

That's easy. Either you made true friends at work or you didn't. I did. I have a few real kindred spirits in my life that I met at work and I still enjoy being in touch with. It helped that we share a hobby, some life values and enjoy some companionship apart from DW and family. We've known each other for most of 50 years, the DW's are friends, the kids are acquainted, etc.

But if you didn't make any lifelong friends at work, and lots of people don't, don't be concerned about bowing out. After a few attempts to get you to join them for lunches, or whatever, the calls and emails will go away. Happens all the time.

I will throw this out though....... I've been FIRE'd 12+ years and during that time I've meet several interesting folks through work friends. I go to a lunch, invited by a close work friend, and meet some other guys I didn't know or didn't know well at work, and we hit it off. One turned out to be a guy with whom I'm comfortable discussing finances, investments, FIRE, LBYM and all that spooky stuff we don't often get to discuss outside of Internet discussion groups. So, I'm not at all sure of the circumstances and situations where you're being invited but by not going you might be missing the opportunity to meet new folks (or get to know someone better) that turns into a really good thing.