I can relate to your feelings.... I started writing my resignation letter and became over whelmed with emotions... I have 4 months to finish it up. I find myself remembering things from years past as I walk the hospital halls and ER... I mean Ive spent about 25% of the last 35 years there.... They already know my plan (and dont like it) Its now down to filing the retirement paper work, and then I must officially submit my resignation to the county HR office. I'm excited about the future, and scared at the same time...
Just gave my notice... and feeling sad
- Thread starter pdxgal
- Start date
WestUniversity
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
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+1
I know I said we would keep in touch but the reality in my experience is that our paths somewhat diverged. There are a handful of people I greatly endeavor to maintain contact with, but even doing everything on my part to accommodate their schedule, it’s still not easy to get together. Add in one pandemic, and it makes it even worse.
Numerous texts and phone calls somewhat fill in the gaps but after a while it became apparent that we have less and less recent, common experiences and that the conversations began to get somewhat stale.
For me it’s also like the loss of a chunk of my family. But I have found it has become easier with time and distance and also with all the new people in my life through church, organizations I volunteer with, and other social activities.
The only thing constant in life is change…
JohnRM
Recycles dryer sheets
Too bad you can't taper off
I retired at 58 for health reasons, turned in my badge etc. - I would rather have had the opportunity to drop in and give my sage advice, like Inspector Luger on the old Barney Miller show. My sister worked in hospital administration, and they let her work whatever hours she wanted, so she got to taper it off.
I am doing ok in retirement, you don't have to accomplish anything or have expensive fun. A lot of people have expectations of retired people to do what they would do if they retired. You do you.
I retired at 58 for health reasons, turned in my badge etc. - I would rather have had the opportunity to drop in and give my sage advice, like Inspector Luger on the old Barney Miller show. My sister worked in hospital administration, and they let her work whatever hours she wanted, so she got to taper it off.
I am doing ok in retirement, you don't have to accomplish anything or have expensive fun. A lot of people have expectations of retired people to do what they would do if they retired. You do you.
my unfortunate employers insisted on getting bought out or going out of business. Too many xmas layoffs to count. I have managed to connect with a few fellow travelers from my past via linkedin, otherwise my peer group is... one. My longest tenure anywhere was exactly 5 years. Not exactly what I expected from engineering. So I started late and finished early, but the Roth is topped up and my time is my own.
maingram
Dryer sheet wannabe
Totally agree, I worked for Physicians for 30 years and loved my job. Retired in 2018 but still miss the feeling of making a difference and my patients. It has gotten easier because I have more time to explore new hobbies and activities but you need to give yourself time because it is like breaking away from family, you have worked with and known for a long time.
EastWest Gal
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Staying in one work group for one’s career probably makes it harder to leave. I had five different positions, and people were always moving on, including me. I tried to retire 3 times before it stuck. The reasons it was difficult is that the medical director offered me a lot to stay on part time in a much less busy hospital, and then I was worried about the ACA in 2017. By the time 2019 came around, I had had enough and it was really easy to leave. At the same time, 5 of my favorite nurses and staff retired, and our medical director left the same time I did.
We had two farewell dinners in two weeks.
We had two farewell dinners in two weeks.
Markola
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
+1. The only real way to advance for me was to change jobs, and usually organizations, every 2-6 years. In fact, looking back, the time I stayed 6 years was the mistake but I was very comfortable. When I FIREd last year, I’d been in the role for 4.5 years, so no big woop to leave and I don’t miss the place. I realize YMMV.
Michael Moore
Recycles dryer sheets
There's nothing that says you can't stay in contact with your former cow*rkers that you want to stay in contact with. I talked to one of my fellow retirees today, we had a nice chat and neither of us (after 15+ years) misses being there.
I got a little teary on my last day, but it was on the way home thinking "I never have to do this again, I'm FREE FREE FREE". It wasn't horrible, but I was so ready to escape, and a reduction in the pension for leaving a few years early was well worth it.
Don't be surprised if you sleep a lot the first 4-6 weeks, I was always sleep-deprived and not having to get up at 4:15AM after 5-6 hours of poor sleep was a big change.
I got a little teary on my last day, but it was on the way home thinking "I never have to do this again, I'm FREE FREE FREE". It wasn't horrible, but I was so ready to escape, and a reduction in the pension for leaving a few years early was well worth it.
Don't be surprised if you sleep a lot the first 4-6 weeks, I was always sleep-deprived and not having to get up at 4:15AM after 5-6 hours of poor sleep was a big change.
Yes, it's a big change. And it's also a realization that they may continue on just fine without you being there.
To help in the transition, see if you can track down others who have retired from there and set up a few morning coffee or lunch get togethers.
Also plan a trip that you will leave on the day after you retire. This could be a "bucket list" trip or even something more modest like a trip to a state park a few hours away where you can start to destress and move on to your next phase of life.
To help in the transition, see if you can track down others who have retired from there and set up a few morning coffee or lunch get togethers.
Also plan a trip that you will leave on the day after you retire. This could be a "bucket list" trip or even something more modest like a trip to a state park a few hours away where you can start to destress and move on to your next phase of life.
lawman
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Lot's of stories and good advice here. I wish I could contribute in a positive way. I retired after 42 years of police work. We then moved off the farm we had built to be closer to the only two grandchildren we have. The transition has not gone well for me. My advice is to find something that interests you if possible and cultivate that interest. It's been a real struggle for me. Good luck..
Bullwinkle
Recycles dryer sheets
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2020
- Messages
- 60
I'm still working but... I think when I leave, rather than be sad I haven't done all those things I wanted to while working, I'll be thinking now I can do all those things I wasn't able to before... because I was too busy working! I've been saving up decades of those things.
Of course maybe I still won't do "them" anyway, but I'll sure do something.
I imagine it must be different for people who had more meaningful work, in that it would feel more significant to lose it. But that's something to be proud of having done! I actually envy the talk of things like farewell dinners, every place I've been people just disappear one day. A few weeks later someone might say "what happened to so-and-so?" "Oh, he left." They come, they go. And you know, some schedules have been "impacted."
Of course maybe I still won't do "them" anyway, but I'll sure do something.
I imagine it must be different for people who had more meaningful work, in that it would feel more significant to lose it. But that's something to be proud of having done! I actually envy the talk of things like farewell dinners, every place I've been people just disappear one day. A few weeks later someone might say "what happened to so-and-so?" "Oh, he left." They come, they go. And you know, some schedules have been "impacted."
This is so true. I also felt the same twinges. “All that training and work”, “is that all there is?” , “Did I live up to my potential?” During my 50’s as I contemplated retirement, all this crossed my mind as well. The answers are: The training and work got you where you are. You are getting out far younger than most, by far, with better health, and less worries. That isn’t all there is. It is up to you to make the most of the time you have left which is always far less than you realize. No time machine means no regrets. Don’t waste any energy on what might have been it changes nothing. Concentrate on what’s ahead. I didn’t live up to to my potential and only a handful probably feel they have.
My college roommates and frat brothers range in success from total losers that fell off the face of the earth, to captains of industry and mega wealthy. At one time we were all at the same potential. Talked of the future and dreams of success and accomplishments, lots of times. I can’t think of one that turned out as we thought we would be. Some far exceeded it. Most turned out completely different. In most of our cases, we are more successful in life, by financial and accomplishment standards than we ever thought we would be when in school. We had a virtual 40 year reunion of the brothers that had a surprisingly high turn out. 2 hours of swapping stories and memories and trying to downplay our successes. Of the 24 people on the Zoom, only 3, including me, were retired. One guy had just lost his wife. We learned that one of us had died recently from heart failure. 3(!) others online had had heart attacks or strokes and had some level of physical handicap. My last roommate had sold his 2nd company for millions. His 2 kids were already extremely successful doing stuff they loved. Another brother was looking for a job. Another had lost his very accomplished daughter after high school graduation after she was hit by a car as a pedestrian. A few looked like they hadn’t aged 10 years since college. Some were unrecognizable. Most just looked older with a lot less hair.
And that’s only what was revealed. My “best friend” that I have kept in contact with regularly for over 40 years, has a son with MH issues and drug issues. It’s killing him and his marriage . Only I in the group know about this. That’s just one example. So I make sure I keep everything in perspective. No, I didn’t become a SVP like the engineer the same age as me, that I literally sat next to for 2 years and leaned on me for technical help & advice, and is now making $600k+ and will have a cushy very high income retirement. When he retires. If he gets to retire. He made some choices and played the right cards at the right time. I have no idea if he is happy. He seems to be. I am happy and content. And that’s the only person I really have to satisfy.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Once in a great while I reflect on a few of my big successes at Megacorp. I honestly think I made some contributions. I worked on one issue which could have ultimately cost the company nearly a quarter of its business. I most certainly didn't "solve" that issue by myself, but I was at the right place at the right time and was able to train folks so I was no longer the only one to do all the w*rk within my area of expertise. Yes, we w*rked together and saved the product and it thrived going forward.
Now, 35 years later, I know of maybe one or two folks who would even recall that I was involved or that I contributed. That's because they had their rolls in the process - just like I did but in a different way. What I think about is that as far as Megacrorp is concerned, I only exist as a bunch of 1s and 0s to be sure I get my pension and the occasional 401(k) communication. I can still call in to report my death (Hmmmm), check my 401(k) balance, alter my minimalist company-provided retirement insurance death benefit beneficiary, etc. etc. Otherwise, it's as if I never existed.
Realistically, if you were never CEO or President or whatever, it's unlikely a half dozen folks you ever knew at Megacorp would even recall your name. I've wondered from time to time if that should bother me. It occurred to me that worrying about how I was remembered or even IF I was remembered would be the height of arrogance.
Why do you think they call it Megacorp, kid?
I won't think about this again for another 10 years if I live so long. Now returning you to our regularly scheduled thread topic as YMMV.
Now, 35 years later, I know of maybe one or two folks who would even recall that I was involved or that I contributed. That's because they had their rolls in the process - just like I did but in a different way. What I think about is that as far as Megacrorp is concerned, I only exist as a bunch of 1s and 0s to be sure I get my pension and the occasional 401(k) communication. I can still call in to report my death (Hmmmm), check my 401(k) balance, alter my minimalist company-provided retirement insurance death benefit beneficiary, etc. etc. Otherwise, it's as if I never existed.
Realistically, if you were never CEO or President or whatever, it's unlikely a half dozen folks you ever knew at Megacorp would even recall your name. I've wondered from time to time if that should bother me. It occurred to me that worrying about how I was remembered or even IF I was remembered would be the height of arrogance.
Why do you think they call it Megacorp, kid?I won't think about this again for another 10 years if I live so long. Now returning you to our regularly scheduled thread topic as YMMV.
dp226
Dryer sheet wannabe
I am 7 days away from retirement and I am alternating between elation and fear. I figure it is normal. I am super happy to be retiring. I am in fear of what I am going to do, not working with all the people I like, not being part of the "family" any more, going broke, the change of routine after 15 years. Sad is not an emotion I have had, scared is.
I figure after working since I was 16 and never leaving a job before without having another one or two lined up, I am mostly afraid of the unknown. I get over it pretty fast since the logical part of my brain knows I am ready both financially and otherwise. It is strange that the emotional part of the brain still pushes forward and causes the couple of seconds of terror.
I do find it funny/strange/weird that it is so emotional, I do understand it but I still find it strange.
I figure after working since I was 16 and never leaving a job before without having another one or two lined up, I am mostly afraid of the unknown. I get over it pretty fast since the logical part of my brain knows I am ready both financially and otherwise. It is strange that the emotional part of the brain still pushes forward and causes the couple of seconds of terror.
I do find it funny/strange/weird that it is so emotional, I do understand it but I still find it strange.
Markola
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Once in a great while I reflect on a few of my big successes at Megacorp. I honestly think I made some contributions. I worked on one issue which could have ultimately cost the company nearly a quarter of its business. I most certainly didn't "solve" that issue by myself, but I was at the right place at the right time and was able to train folks so I was no longer the only one to do all the w*rk within my area of expertise. Yes, we w*rked together and saved the product and it thrived going forward.
Now, 35 years later, I know of maybe one or two folks who would even recall that I was involved or that I contributed. That's because they had their rolls in the process - just like I did but in a different way. What I think about is that as far as Megacrorp is concerned, I only exist as a bunch of 1s and 0s to be sure I get my pension and the occasional 401(k) communication. I can still call in to report my death (Hmmmm), check my 401(k) balance, alter my minimalist company-provided retirement insurance death benefit beneficiary, etc. etc. Otherwise, it's as if I never existed.
Realistically, if you were never CEO or President or whatever, it's unlikely a half dozen folks you ever knew at Megacorp would even recall your name. I've wondered from time to time if that should bother me. It occurred to me that worrying about how I was remembered or even IF I was remembered would be the height of arrogance.
I won't think about this again for another 10 years if I live so long. Now returning you to our regularly scheduled thread topic as YMMV.
This is 100% correct. I also enjoyed my career, had adventures and satisfactions I could have only had through w*rk and I look back knowing I improved some situations, WHICH NO ONE REMEMBERS thanks to constant turnover. After 28 years in one field, I didn’t see what 5 more or 10 more was going to prove, while I could clearly see many things I’d miss out on that I wanted to do if I spent those 5-10 more years in the same meetings with the same ad hoc group of rotating people with my 3-4 weeks vacation. Thank you, career, but bye-bye.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2006
- Messages
- 23,058
I was only 27 when I left the most meaningful work I ever had - officer aboard a US Navy ballistic missile submarine. That was not just my job but my life. Subsequently practicing law was enjoyable and I was good at it. However, while in some respects important and satisfying, it was still merely a way to finance my life. I was always careful to separate my job from my identity, so it was not hard to leave behind. To this day, I still think of myself more as a submariner than a lawyer.
+1
A year or two after I left, I asked a buddy who still w@rked there about what was going on. He said “nothing has changed”. Don’t miss it at all.
Of course it was very important for a season, but that season a a long time ago now. Retirement has been a good lesson that the seasons of life change.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Then, we do too. Thanks for keeping us safe!
RetireeRobert
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
+1. How are you feeling now, almost a week later?
FWIW my feelings of sadness have gradually been replaced with excitement about all the things I'll have time to do now! The last two weeks were a bit of emotional roller coaster, but good. Had a chance to say goodbye to the few coworkers I really enjoyed, set up a few lunch dates for later this month, tied up some loose ends on my w*rk projects. I am glad that with SIP there wasn't the going away gathering in a conference room. To return my equipment and badge, I piled it all into my Burley Travoy trailer and rode my bike to the office, as sort of a farewell bike commute (because that was always a great part of my day, riding to/from work). Yesterday -- my official last day -- I had drinks with a couple good friends and family in a lovely rooftop restaurant outdoors. It felt good. Now on to new adventures!
Make sure you keep time for that cycle ride somewhere, anywhere, it is so good for you on many counts. I’ll soon be part time and the thought of a 2/3 day trip excites me.
dp226
Dryer sheet wannabe
Yesterday was my last day. Huge range of emotions and by lunch I was emotionally drained. Had to stick around for the obligatory cake and ice cream but all I wanted to do by lunch was take a nap. It was both good and bad since it brought up some more emotions mostly seeing friends that I have only talked to over zoom in the last 16 months more than the retirement itself.
I have some lunch plans and what not for the next several weeks but I am feeling pretty good after a good nights sleep (one of the best ones in several years). I am curious how well I will do over the next several weeks but I think everything is good. But mostly I think now that the emotional rollercoaster is gone life will be back to normal.
One last thought is I think the people who go on a cruise/trip right after retiring probably have the right idea. I am not until the fall but I am starting to thing a big break of normality like that might be the best way.
I have some lunch plans and what not for the next several weeks but I am feeling pretty good after a good nights sleep (one of the best ones in several years). I am curious how well I will do over the next several weeks but I think everything is good. But mostly I think now that the emotional rollercoaster is gone life will be back to normal.
One last thought is I think the people who go on a cruise/trip right after retiring probably have the right idea. I am not until the fall but I am starting to thing a big break of normality like that might be the best way.
I am so looking forward to retirement date I can not see me being sad. No doubt I will have feelings of some sort but I hope sad is not one of them. All things come to an end and I’ll walk away looking out the front window rather than looking back out the rear window.
My DH had the guard at the gate take a picture of him waving as he left. He hasn't missed working one day and hasn't kept in touch with any of the people he worked with. After 30 years with Megacorp....he was done! I just quite my job and didn't go back at 50. Life is good now. Don't know where all of our retirement time goes. Faster and faster the time goes.
Enjoy the rest of your life doing what you want to do when you want to do it.
Enjoy the rest of your life doing what you want to do when you want to do it.
Congrats dp226! It IS an emotional rollercoaster, isn't it (at least for some of us)? And sounds like you've got a trip to look forward to, which is great. Retiring "to" something is very important as folks here have noted. My first few days have been filled with catching up on yard work and all the other things I haven't had time to do. Feels great!
