I guess hiding my head in the sand isn't fixing this problem. I was hoping it would. You'd be surprised how often that works.
Although I haven't seen this problem I have a pet theory on what may be causing it. I'll throw a few fancy words out there like MyISAM, InnoDB and table-level locking versus row-level locking. The database table that tracks what posts each user has read in each thread is updated every time a logged-in user reads a topic, and that happens a lot around here. Flipping the switch from MyISAM to InnoDB for a couple of tables sounds easy enough, but it has some ramifications that need to be figured out first. I'll see what I can find out. But if my theory is right, that should solve the issues you're talking about.
I'm not sure about the RSS thing, though. donheff, what RSS reader to you use, and do you know if it logs in as you when it reads? I'm thinking if your reader is your browser like FireFox Live Bookmarks or IE7's RSS thingy then it's probably using your credentials, and if not, probably not unless you typed them in for the reader.