Am I Being Forgetful or Distracted?

[H2ODude]

I've had most of the examples and not been too concerned. But what's ALWAYS bugged me is my inability to remember names, and also faces. Even talked to Dr. about it once, he said no big deal and more frequent in men. I had a successful career, but I was always haunted by this failure to remember people and their names. Go figure. I've known people (one politician in particular) who could walk into a restaurant and wander around and call out names and it would just amaze me.

 

[tmm99]

As far as faces go, I used to work in a restaurant as a server, and I almost always remembered if the customer was a good tipper or not. (some kind of survival mechanism or what, I don't know.)

 

[Mulligan]

I think I have become a little more forgetful, because I don't put much effort into remembering as I did when working. Most things we forget are not that important. It isn't like we forgot to put clothes on and drove naked somewhere. My worst one was last year when I went to local KFC drive-in. Paid for my meal and promptly drove off without even waiting for my meal. Got out of car and realized what I did. No way was I going back to tell them I was the dumb one who paid for a meal I didn't bother to get.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

I've had most of the examples and not been too concerned. But what's ALWAYS bugged me is my inability to remember names, and also faces. Even talked to Dr. about it once, he said no big deal and more frequent in men. I had a successful career, but I was always haunted by this failure to remember people and their names. Go figure. I've known people (one politician in particular) who could walk into a restaurant and wander around and call out names and it would just amaze me.

Yep, me too, I just do not store faces or names unless I see someone often. I've tried all the little tricks and nothing works. Now that I'm older I'm hoping people will be more forgiving when I do not recognize them. Once they tell me their name, I know who they are and when I met them, it's just that the face tells me nothing. I think nowadays such a child as myself would be classified as somewhere on the autistic scale. Back then we were just considered dweebs or jerks or social misfits. Not everything about getting older is bad.

 

[Semiretired2008]

I've had most of the examples and not been too concerned. But what's ALWAYS bugged me is my inability to remember names, and also faces. Even talked to Dr. about it once, he said no big deal and more frequent in men. I had a successful career, but I was always haunted by this failure to remember people and their names. Go figure. I've known people (one politician in particular) who could walk into a restaurant and wander around and call out names and it would just amaze me.

Me too, when I am with my wife and we run into someone we have not seen in a while - she always whispers into my ear their name to help me out... But I can remember every phone number every one of my relatives has ever had - I just cannot remember what their current number is

 

[MichaelB]

I was going to write something meaningful but I forgot what it was...

 

[Nords]

Ironically, when I first read this thread I couldn't remember the name of the book that reassured me so much. But it came to me at 2 AM:
Amazon.com: Where Did I Leave My Glasses?: The What, When, and Why of Normal Memory Loss (9780446699358): Martha Weinman Lear: Books

I had a friend whose dad said human brain was like a computer with limited disk space, so unless you erase something, you cannot put anything new in.

My write head overwrites anything that hasn't been used in a few weeks. But first the controller fragments the information as much as possible.

Wonder if DW will notice tomorrow morning?

I absolutely loathe these "marriage pop quizzes". Spouse and I have learned to tell each other "I cleaned up the study. Next time you go by there, "ooh" and "ahh" and give me a big compliment."

I've had most of the examples and not been too concerned. But what's ALWAYS bugged me is my inability to remember names, and also faces. Even talked to Dr. about it once, he said no big deal and more frequent in men. I had a successful career, but I was always haunted by this failure to remember people and their names. Go figure. I've known people (one politician in particular) who could walk into a restaurant and wander around and call out names and it would just amaze me.

As I understand it, this has more to do with the brain's wiring than with any distraction or forgetting. Some people have the skill, others do not. Some can develop more proficiency if they work on it, others never will.

The staff of a famous retired politician noticed that he could immediately recall the faces & names of over 4000 people at events like conventions or fundraisers. Phenomenal. Somewhat practiced. But mostly hard-wired.

My worst one was last year when I went to local KFC drive-in. Paid for my meal and promptly drove off without even waiting for my meal. Got out of car and realized what I did. No way was I going back to tell them I was the dumb one who paid for a meal I didn't bother to get.

I've read that this is actually very common. I also see it at Costco where people order their food at the window, pay for it, and then march smartly off before the counter staff have gathered the order together.

I wonder how much it improves the profit margin...

 

[Midpack]

I've taken to staging things as reminders. I keep things in specific places so I always know where it will be. My phone and a pair of reading glasses afe always on the kitchen table soi see them to take along when I drive somewhere. My keys, wallet, change & hankie are on my dresser, another stop before I leave the house.

If I want to remember to take an item with me the next day, I go get it and put it in my car while I'm thinking about it instead of counting on remembering the next day. I just put some menu samples in my sailing bag so I remember to give them to my sailing buddies next Sat. I email links to myself to look at later. I download samples of books I want to read to iBooks to remind me and use iBooks as my library request buffer (I rarely buy ebooks), and then delete them as I get/read them.

I make lists for some things, but hopefully I'm not obsessive (yet).

I'm sure many of us do things like this...

 

[Mulligan]

I've taken to staging things as reminders. I keep things in specific places so I always know where it will be. My phone and a pair of reading glasses afe always on the kitchen table soi see them to take along when I drive somewhere. My keys, wallet, change & hankie are on my dresser, another stop before I leave the house.

If I want to remember to take an item with me the next day, I go get it and put it in my car while I'm thinking about it instead of counting on remembering the next day. I just put some menu samples in my sailing bag so I remember to give them to my sailing buddies next Sat. I email links to myself to look at later. I download samples of books I want to read to iBooks to remind me and use iBooks as my library request buffer (I rarely buy ebooks), and then delete them as I get/read them.

I make lists for some things, but hopefully I'm not obsessive (yet).

I'm sure many of us do things like this...

Yep, I do that also with my big three. The keys stay in ignition, wallet and cell phone on kitchen counter ( dropped my landline, so I have to be careful with cell). Reading glasses, I decided to buy so many of the $2 variety it doesn't matter where they are at as I will stumble unto a pair in about every room.

 

[scrabbler1]

I like to think that my brain is almost full so I would have to empty something out to remember the new stuff.

This reminds me of that episode of "Married.....With Children" when Kelly was going on a quiz show and Al was busy filling her brain with all kinds of trivia. But Al found out that if you jam a person's brain with one too many things, the first thing you added to it will be forced out. The thing which got forced out was Al's most notable achievement, his scoring 4 touchdowns in a HS football game. And of course the question was, "Who scored 4 TDs in a Polk HS football game?" Kelly had no idea.

This episode has also come to mind because this enter-and-exit thing has sometimes happened to me when I am going out to do multiple errands and have to take a bunch of items with me. What happens is I remember to take the unusual item(s) with me but forget to take the more routine ones, as if my brain could only handle 3 unusual things to remember to take with me so one of the more routine ones got left behind. Like I remember the library book (unusual) but forget the shopping list or bottle of water (routine).

 

[ksr]

I absolutely loathe these "marriage pop quizzes". Spouse and I have learned to tell each other "I cleaned up the study. Next time you go by there, "ooh" and "ahh" and give me a big compliment."

I thought I was the only one who did this! I do most of the yardwork, and my SO rarely even notices that I've been pruning, weeding, edging, planting, mulching, or whatever. So now I tell him that as we're backing out of the driveway, he'd better see what I did and I want to hear some "oohs and aahs".

 

[Nords]

I thought I was the only one who did this!

Well, if she'd soldered some plumbing or replaced a toilet flapper valve or cleaned out the dryer exhaust or put up a new surfboard rack then I'd be much more likely to notice...

Our daughter is one of those people who can walk into a room and instantly notice what's changed-- frequently not even slowing down, yet still tossing off a comment like "I like that new pillow on the sofa!" as she passes through. So spouse makes a lot of changes to the decor before our daughter comes home from college, just to see if she has her powers of observation.

But if I was in charge of the decor & landscaping, this property wouldn't even have bathroom doors or real grass...

 

[Walt34]

Is that like when I go to the kitchen from my computer room and then cannot remember why I went there?

Check yourself into the nursing home, stick a fork in it, you're done.

Just a couple of weeks ago in talking with my little sister (who is 60) we remembered laughing at our mother when she would come into a room and ask "Why did I come in here?"

Now we're doing the same thing.

DW's sister, a semi-retired nurse who now works part time, put it this way: A normal person will forget where they put their keys. A person with dementia will forget what keys are for.

So you probably have a ways to go yet.

 

[Semiretired2008]

But if I was in charge of the decor & landscaping, this property wouldn't even have bathroom doors or real grass...

Green Pea Gravel is the way to go...

 

[braumeister]

As someone else recently commented, there are plenty of smartphone apps that tell you where you are.
What I need is one that tells me why I just walked into this room.

 

[Amethyst]

Well, I was doing the exact same thing in my teens. So maybe it was just learned imitation of my parents (who were of an age to be my grandparents). I never worried about it - just went back where I'd come from so the reason would "pop" into my head.

Y'all are worrying about nothing, IMHO. The bad sign is when you ask spouse or SO a question, and he/she says irritably, "You just asked me that 2 hours ago, and also last night," and you get mad at them because you had no clue. I'm told that the "getting mad at them" is the bad sign, even more than the forgetting.

Amethyst

Cwe remembered laughing at our mother when she would come into a room and ask "Why did I come in here?"

Now we're doing the same thing.

.

 

[Midpack]

As someone else recently commented, there are plenty of smartphone apps that tell you where you are.

As long as you can remember where you put your smartphone.

Sorry, just too easy...

 

[Sarah in SC]

Nords, your "marriage pop quiz" reference is one that I always fail.
By the time I realize that DH has had a haircut and compliment him on it, it invariably brings on a response of "thanks, but I got it cut last week". I'm terrible at noticing things like that. However, housecleaning normally gets noticed, if only for the fact that sweeping involves at least a good-sized cat's worth of pet hair missing from the floors!

 

[Animorph]

DW's sister, a semi-retired nurse who now works part time, put it this way: A normal person will forget where they put their keys. A person with dementia will forget what keys are for.

So you probably have a ways to go yet.

That's the standard line, and it is comforting not to be that bad...yet. But it would seem that by then it's kind of late to make an improvement. Forgetting the keys seems like you're part way to forgetting what keys are for, especially when you never had a problem before.

Went shopping with DW Saturday. I forgot to bring the broken pool filter part from the car to the pool store to find a replacement. The next store I forgot to bring the list of batteries I needed to get. Both times I remembered just before walking into the store and had to walk back to the car to retrieve the item. I guess if I do that enough the exercise will help my brain! In my defense, I'm sure DW was distracting me .

 

[MikeD]

I have the official words of a memory oriented neurologist on this subject. I was in the process of getting diagnosed with vascular dementia due to a lifetime of type 1 diabetes. I was having memory loss and couldn't learn anything new. As a "yout" I was always the smartest person in the room. Now, at age 44, I couldn't remember what I had talked to a co-worker about 2 minutes before. My productivity was down to 25% of my normal. Due to the "new" developments, I was anxious and depressed for the first time in my life. I talked to my Internist and he recommended a neuro visit. After I described my symptoms, the brain doctor just chuckled and said "Do you know how many people your age I see every week with those complaints?" He said that if I wasn't a type 1 diabetic he'd just dismiss me with the warning to keep my BP normal and exercise more. But in my case we were on to something. Turns out in my case it was small blood vessel deterioration everywhere, including my brain. Short term memory was impaired. A person can't learn anything "new" if they can't remember it! Hello, long term disability. I can still function and am as happy as can be, but I am not able to learn well enough to be a real time programmer any more.

Welcome to the world of lists. And lists of lists. I use a LOT of paper!

Mike D.

 

[Texas Proud]

This thread reminds me that the only difference between eccentric and forgetful is how much money you have...


I get hand signals, which I can't see because I'm looking at the road ahead

Same here. I'd say "Which way?" and I'd get back "This way". Right or Left would have helped.

Now instead of that... think kids in the back seat...

Me "which way?"

Them "that way" pointing some direction....

 

[Texas Proud]

I've had most of the examples and not been too concerned. But what's ALWAYS bugged me is my inability to remember names, and also faces. Even talked to Dr. about it once, he said no big deal and more frequent in men. I had a successful career, but I was always haunted by this failure to remember people and their names. Go figure. I've known people (one politician in particular) who could walk into a restaurant and wander around and call out names and it would just amaze me.

Are you good at math


I remember a show a long time ago.... they said there were 5 kinds of memory and faces and phone numbers were one of them.... and that people who were good at math had 'smaller' memories for them....


I can not remember the names of people... unless I deal with them all the time... after a few weeks to months, their name receeds into the background.... now, if you tell me there name, my memory is able to find all the info and I can tell you things from many many years ago.... funny that...

 

[kcowan]

I forgot to take the trash out last week, despite thinking, "Now, I need to remember to do that when I get home tonight". It wasn't a problem, since we have trash collection twice a week, but still it bothered me that I forgot...

In Mexico, we have to take the garbage to a bin at the end of our cul-de-sac, about half a block. Usually I just carry it there on my way walking somewhere.

But if I am driving, I put it on the back seat. 70% of the time it goes on a return trip wherever I am going. This is only a problem if it contains chicken remains, or if I am picking someone up. But I am always amazed that I can put it on the seat and then immediately forget about it.

 

[eytonxav]

Easysurfer,

There is a medical acronym used to describe this condition, its called CRS












or can't remember do do

 

[Nords]

Nords, your "marriage pop quiz" reference is one that I always fail.
By the time I realize that DH has had a haircut and compliment him on it, it invariably brings on a response of "thanks, but I got it cut last week". I'm terrible at noticing things like that.

I make it easy on spouse by not cutting my hair.

She makes it easy on me by pulling out the photos that she always takes along to her stylist. When I see Raquel Welch and Katy Segal laying on the kitchen counter, I know what to watch out for...

As for the regular cleaning, well, not so much of that around here. But I clean off my desk once or twice a year just for the shock & awe.