Went on a cruise to the Caribbean many years ago. Can't argue with anything Danmar pointed out. Still, when asked about cruising, I tell folks the same thing I tell them after doing a transcontinental train trip. Everyone should do it - once! Only a particular destination (such as the Panama Canal or the coast of Alaska) would induce me to cruise again. I've done it.
Oddly, the thing I enjoyed most about our cruise was the enormous seas we got into. Apparently there had been some winter storms someplace else which produced huge swells. Imagine, if you will, a 750 foot cruise liner with the bow coming out of the water and then crashing back down into the sea. It looked like the footage they always show of one of the preludes to a WWII pacific battle (can't recall which one) in which battle ships, cruisers and even AC carriers bounded up and down in high seas as they were caught unawares in a hurricane. (Our actual weather was pleasant, but apparently there was no way to avoid the swell we encountered). In any case, the water in the swimming pools was sloshing across the decks until they eventually pumped them out. Below decks, the creaking and groaning was perhaps the most unnerving part of the whole affair. Each of the half dozen bars handed out handfuls of sea sick pills to anyone who asked. I loved it. At night, sitting on deck in a moonless, but clear sky, the view was spectacular as the black horizon and the starry sky bounced around like the view from a trampoline. Worth the trip just for those couple of days that most people hated.
Perhaps second most enjoyable thing was a tour of the ship. I was totally surprised at how few people went on the tour. I learned about how the ship was propelled (turbine steam ship - hence the term TSS in the ship's name) fueled with bunker oil (as I recall, something like 60,000 gal/day - is that possible or is memory fading? Maybe it was 60,000 pounds.) Got to watch other ships on the radar screen as we left one of our ports. Cool!
Probably third most fun was the optional ($4) wine tasting at 4:00PM. Haven't been so sloshed since college - guess maybe you are supposed to spit or something, but no one else did, so... Got my sea legs in one hour! Highly recommended if your liver is in good shape.
The food - which most folks had really built up for us ahead of time - was like that found in most finer "troughs" - Think Ryans, Golden Corral, etc. Not bad, just not great. But - there was plenty of it. The ship bragged that they served 7 meals each day. One day - just to say we had done it, we got up at 6:30 went to breakfast and then ate our way through the day, ending at midnight snack - which turned out to be leftovers from the rest of the day (including breakfast!)
I did enjoy the various entertainment offered on the ship. It wasn't Vegas quality, but it was as good as you would find in for instance large regional amusement parks like 6 flags or similar during the summer sessions - college kids exercising (or is that exorcising) their talents for peanuts (I'm guessing) and the experience.
We don't dig gambling, but we heard comments from friends that the casinos were either run amateurishly, or at worst dishonestly.
I'm not by nature an outgoing person nor do I mix all that well at parties. I consider myself a good friend, but I don't make a lot of friends. Still, on board, you are more or less forced into mixing with lots of folks, and on a very superficial level, I enjoyed the interaction. It was the same on the train by the way. Admittedly, there was a fair amount of social "lubrication" involved - both versions of travel. I AM much more charming after a couple of pina coladas if I do say so myself.
The cabins were a joke. Ours was supposedly for four people although there were just the two of us. It was set up much like a sleeper car on a train with two fold down bunks over two about 2/3 size beds below with just enough room between to squeeze in. The whole bath room was smaller than our shower at home. As I was fond of telling folks "A room so small you had to go outside to change your mind."
The whole "cabin steward" thing was a trip! I don't think we saw our steward more than once before the end of the cruise - at which time everyone met their respective steward to insure that he got his requisite "tip". Anyway, if you so much as went inside your room to pick up a wrap for the deck, the steward would go in afterwards to clean up. (A gum wrapper carelessly left in the ash tray would be policed up before you had made it up on deck.)
Speaking of tips: A tip for prospective cruisers - If the lady doesn't wear a nightgown or is shy about leaving it out, be sure to leave some semblance of a nightie where the steward can find it. If he can't he'll go through every piece of luggage until he finds something that appears to be a nightie. It could be a slip or even your fanciest lingerie. He will fold it into a swan or sea gull or fish or whatever and place it on your turned-down bed while you are out of your room in the evening. Bizarre to the extreme - but there it is.
Danmar complained about some of his fellow passengers, but I found them to be rather interesting. For instance, during our orientation, a fellow passenger asked if the crew stayed on board at night. I kid you not! There were a fair number of ladies on board who looked good in their bikinis, which was a nice diversion. Of course, there were plenty of ladies who wouldn't look that great in a bikini - but they wore them anyway. Life is like that.
The ports-of-call were The Bahamas, St. Thomas USVI, and San Juan PR. Each had its own charm, but once was enough for each of them. DW complained that the Vegas style show we saw in San Juan was a gyp. They apparently didn't spend enough money producing the show to provide tops to all the dancers. And here I thought that was the way they were supposed to dress. Silly me.
At the fort in old San Juan, there were little girls (maybe 9 to 11) dressed in their crisp (I'm guessing) school uniforms. As folks arrived to look around, one of the girls would walk up, take the hand of the female of the couple and "take" them on a guided tour - whether you wanted a tour or not. It was all so cute that I gave the little sweetheart $5 for a 15 minute tour. It had occurred to me that there could be some danger to these little ones, but I then noticed many mothers with eagle eyes watching the whole process from a distance.
Well, i'm rambling. I guess if cruising is your thing, I wouldn't try to talk you out of it. Nor would I discourage anyone from trying it. Mentioned elsewhere in the forum, expectations are a big part of any experience. Just try to be sure you are ready for what you are getting into before you go. Pick your cruise based on your tastes (a clothing optional-cruise probably would not be for everyone, for instance).
Guess I've given you $.05 worth instead of the usual $.02. YMMV
