Corona Virus Limericks Anyone ?

[Janet H]

Add em if you have em...

There was young maid from LaFrance
Who grew tired of social distance
So she took off her mask
And breathed her last gasp
Covid ended her lonely existence

 

[sheldon cornped]

There was once a young lady from Brizes
Who had Coronas of two different sizes
One was so small, it was nothing at all
But the other was large and won Prizes!!

 

[RobbieB]

There was an old woman from Rome
So afraid that she never left home
After the ban
In came her clan
To find her dead on the throne

 

[bjorn2bwild]

I am an itinerant hobo
this Covid is killing my mojo
Shelter in place
Is such a disgrace
It's freedom to roam or go loco

 

[REWahoo]

Thread drift...

 

[sheldon cornped]

A man with a weakness for cheese
Ate some brie and then started to wheeze.
He refused to admit
‘Twas a Covid-type fit.
His autopsy-doc disagrees

 

[RobbieB]

This covid is just such a drag
It's making me mean as a hag
Hoarders have taken it all
for months now I recall
So I'm using a brown paper bag

 

[sheldon cornped]

To ward off those germs from afar
I’m using a tatty old bra
It can’t be a task
To make a face mask
I’ll model it like a film star!

But sewing skills, none to be had -
My home made mask looks very bad
No way does it fit
I look a right tit
My husband won’t wear his, I’m glad!

 

[sheldon cornped]

This virus has so changed our days-
For sure, we are all in a daze.
At home, stuck alone-
Thank God for the phone
to visit loved ones on displays.

Our freedom, for granted, we took-
Now, some of our pleasures forsook.
Unseen enemy
Achieved infamy-
Has stolen good lives like a crook!

 

[sheldon cornped]

Ok. I'm done...

This COVID has given me strife
But now it's ending it's life
But I haven't won
Cause it isn't done
It looks like it just got my wife!

 

[timo2]

There was a virus named corona
It spread ‘round the world and to Kona
But one fact for sure
There is no good cure
And it could put you into a coma

 

[RobbieB]

This covid disease really sucks
No time for giggles and yucks
Gotta run through the stores
Barricade all your doors
Till they take your remains in a truck

 

[RobbieB]

This covid ain't no silly joke
It's making us all very broke
And when we retire
a good life we do aspire
Instead covid will make us all croak

 

[HadEnuff]

My girlfriend said I had some nerve
she slapped me and called me a perve,
it wasn't a pass
I was not being crass
merely trying to flatten the curve.

 

[RobbieB]

Just sitting here trying to think
Surrounded by terrible stink
Oh what do I do
when I am through
Cause my last roll just fell in the sink

 

[RobbieB]

Stop saving, start spending your dough
Covid is here don't you know
You planned 30 years
Get ready for tears
You'll be gone in five if it's slow

 

[MissMolly]

You guys are cracking me up!

 

[RobbieB]

Covid is big in the news
It's really giving me blues
the numbers of die'ers
keeps getting higher
Thank God it's essential there's booze!

 

[RobbieB]

Covid is bad that's no lie
Good thing to do is get high
You can follow the rules
but your still gonna lose
No matter precautions you try

 

[Nemo2]

In Africa they have the flu
It Really ain't nothing Gnu
And all the Crocs
Well they have the pox
But quoting Ovid
Won't save you from Covid

 

[RobbieB]

I am hoping that covid will die
Gonna have me a big slice of pie!
But the virus will win
because we have sinned
and the Earth will bid us bye-bye

 

[Nemo2]

Show up with Corona
and you're Non Grata Persona
They won't even ask
If you're wearing a mask
You'll end up just being a loner

 

[Souschef]

How come none of the limericks rhyme with Nantucket in them?

 

[Nemo2]

Those who cry Wuhan
While dancing the Can-Can
And make sure they eat
Before washing their meat
Soon realize how it began

 

[MissMolly]

There once was a boy from Daytona
Who thought he had caught the Corona
His temperature rose
He got COVID toes
And can no longer run at Pamplona