Depression

[harllee]

I am feeling depressed and it is caused by the Covid situation. I am 70, my DH is 70 and has autoimmune disease and my mother is 90 and lives in a CCRC that is having a new Covid outbreak. My DH, my DM and myself are fully vaxxed (DH just had his 4th shot last week). I am the primary caregiver for both my DH and mother although both of them can take care of themselves most of the time. I feel like Covid has turned my life upside down. I am an extrovert, prior to Covid we went out several times a week with friends, went dancing, went to Church, went to sporting events, went to concerts, ate in restaurants. Now I am not able to do any of this. Zoom cocktail parties, Zoom church, Zoom concerts are just not the same. It is too cold to eat outside or visit with friends outside. I exercise outside and play golf when the weather permits but right now there is snow on the ground and the golf courses are closed. I am feeling down and it seems to get worse everyday. I am sure others of you are in the same situation. I would appreciate any suggestions regarding how others are coping.

 

[Sojourner]

Zoom cocktail parties, Zoom church, Zoom concerts are just not the same.

I hear you and feel exactly the same way. I have pretty much stopped doing all Zoom meetings/events, unless they are absolutely critical (like talking to friends and relatives from overseas). Zoom meetings give me headaches and make me sad. I would much rather meet small groups of people outdoors somewhere than do any form of Zoom meeting.

I am feeling down and it seems to get worse everyday. I am sure others of you are in the same situation. I would appreciate any suggestions regarding how others are coping.

My advice for when you're feeling down is to go for a long, brisk walk with your DH or a close friend and talk. Talk about anything and everything you're feeling. And make sure the other person knows you are feeling down and need to be heard, so that they don't interrupt a lot. Talking can be extremely good therapy and—coupled with some exercise in the form of a long walk—can be very, very mood lifting.

You might also want to try something like meditating or practicing mindfulness. There are many free apps for your phone for these things. It's not for everyone, but it's worth a try. Good luck!

 

[skyking1]

above and beyond that laundry list, you may also be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. (SAD)
If you have a full spectrum light, try that out. I know people who got results from using a light in these cold, dark days.

 

[bbbamI]

Every night before I go to sleep, I think about what's good in my life and how fortunate I have been.

 

[MissMolly]

I have no words of wisdom for you and don't have the added stress you have with your husband and mother, but I hear you. I feel like I am just sitting home with eyes darting left and right watching out for Covid to attack. It's gotten old. I've been being extra careful due to surgery scheduled on Tuesday and knew if I get the virus then surgery is off. Maybe just knowing you're not alone helps?

 

[street]

I am feeling depressed and it is caused by the Covid situation. I am 70, my DH is 70 and has autoimmune disease and my mother is 90 and lives in a CCRC that is having a new Covid outbreak. My DH, my DM and myself are fully vaxxed (DH just had his 4th shot last week). I am the primary caregiver for both my DH and mother although both of them can take care of themselves most of the time. I feel like Covid has turned my life upside down. I am an extrovert, prior to Covid we went out several times a week with friends, went dancing, went to Church, went to sporting events, went to concerts, ate in restaurants. Now I am not able to do any of this. Zoom cocktail parties, Zoom church, Zoom concerts are just not the same. It is too cold to eat outside or visit with friends outside. I exercise outside and play golf when the weather permits but right now there is snow on the ground and the golf courses are closed. I am feeling down and it seems to get worse everyday. I am sure others of you are in the same situation. I would appreciate any suggestions regarding how others are coping.

I'm an introvert but we still need a social life also. For me getting outside and doing things is huge for my morel. I see you are a person of faith and prayer is huge and can give us hope in hard times.

I wish you happiness and please ask for help and reach out to someone in your area if need be.

 

[Aerides]

I don't have your situation, or prior social life, but I do miss having events to look forward to. I have a trip coming up, first in two years, and after that I know I'm going to be a bit bummed, without something else on the calendar. We never traveled with great frequency, but I had those 3 or 4 things throughout the year as highlights - not now. And I live in S. FLa, I can't reasonably drive anywhere if I don't first want to spend 24 hours in a car (i don't!).

You live in NC - how about a road trip for a long weekend, or more, a few hours south - perhaps even a resort with a golf course. You can easily stay distant from others, and find a place that's warm enough for outdoor dining, safe for you and your DH.

That said, there is a big difference between feeling depressed, and having depression. If at all it's the latter, please seek out counseling/therapy to help you through this.

 

[harllee]

Aerides, you are right there is a difference in feeling depressed and having depression. I think all of mine is situational feeling depressed. If it weren't for Covid and all the cold snowy weather we have had (not use to snow in this part of NC) I would most likely feel fine. Good idea about a trip south, I have been looking into that some--but right now it is cold all the way south, I would probably have to go down into Florida to find a place warm enough to eat outside. I don't want to go that far from my mother right now. I love to play at Pinehurst but they had snow too.

 

[Sunset]

I feel the same. Sad/depressed and worries about stuff.

It's cold here, and with the snow/ice can't walk around the neighborhood any more as sidewalks are not plowed and slipping danger. Parks are also closed now.

I do feel better after phoning friends and talking, but if they don't answer I actually feel worse.

I'm trying new recipes and find that sparks some interest and I like the different menu. For example I have a lot of olives, thanks to a Costco purchase
So I looked up and found an easy sheet pan recipe for chicken & olives (with other stuff. 40 minutes in oven at 400F . We both really liked it.

I wish I had answers too.

 

[harllee]

Sunset I am interested in the chicken and olives recipe can you post it?

 

[Beldar]

Try to get away from that Zoom stuff and meet humans in person.

We've felt the same way often during the past year, but to be honest, have been revived somewhat when we had simple conversations with people in department stores, flea markets and so forth. Surprisingly (or not) there seems to be a lot of other folks who want the same.

DW & I are also vaxed, yet finally got the Covid 2 weeks ago. Now that we're over it we'll be d*mmed of we let it run our lives.

Good luck!


_v

 

[harllee]

Try to get away from that Zoom stuff and meet humans in person.

We've felt the same way often during the past year, but to be honest, have been revived somewhat when we had simple conversations with people in department stores, flea markets and so forth. Surprisingly (or not) there seems to be a lot of other folks who want the same.

DW & I are also vaxed, yet finally got the Covid 2 weeks ago. Now that we're over it we'll be d*mmed of we let it run our lives.

Good luck!


_v

I am concerned that if I do get Covid I will give it to my high risk husband and mother and they could be seriously ill or die. It is not enough to just think of myself I have to think of them too.

 

[MichaelB]

I am concerned that if I do get Covid I will give it to my high risk husband and mother and they could be seriously ill or die. It is not enough to just think of myself I have to think of them too.

You are doing quite a lot to keep them safe. Don’t forget that the most important thing you is take care of yourself, because without you they are much worse off.

 

[N02L84ER]

You are doing quite a lot to keep them safe. Don’t forget that the most important thing you is take care of yourself, because without you they are much worse off.

+1

 

[old medic]

I am feeling depressed and it is caused by the Covid situation.

Darlin, Just take one day at a time and find some enjoyment in it... You get out towards WNC i'll build a bonfire and we can enjoy some warm outside time.

 

[MC Rider]

I'm glad it does not snow here, other than at high elevations. My favorite cure / mood improver is currently a Ducati.


Get yer motor runnin'.
Head out on the highway!

 

[Jerry1]

I am concerned that if I do get Covid I will give it to my high risk husband and mother and they could be seriously ill or die. It is not enough to just think of myself I have to think of them too.

You are doing quite a lot to keep them safe. Don’t forget that the most important thing you is take care of yourself, because without you they are much worse off.

Being a care giver at any level is tough, doing it for two under the current circumstances is very high pressure. The obvious complication is giving COVID to those in your circle you’re caring for. Is there anyone else in your life you could trust to be as careful as you are? I’m suggesting that you search out a way to expand your pod. Someone you could go to do something with, even if it’s just lunch at their house for some face to face conversation.

Also, the brutal honest truth is that you can’t prevent every possible thing that could impact the two under your care. Know in advance, that if something happens it is absolutely not your fault. In reality, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to be depressed on their behalf. Discuss this with them. Make sure you’re all on the same page and that you’re not letting your fear alone dictate the response to the situation.

Wishing you well.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. I don't know if it'll help you, but I find going outside, even for a walk in my yard, is very uplifting. I spied a camellia tour of a botanical garden near my house and it was a wonderful outing. I'm going to make it a point to enjoy nature more, as it boosts my spirits every time I do.

 

[HarveyS]

Have you tried finding a new hobby? I've been reading more and doing the WSJ crossword every day. How is Coursera going for you? How about putting together snapfish (or alternative) scrapbooks for family and friends. I find doing things I know others will enjoy can cheer me up.

 

[athena53]

I feel your pain. I live alone and don't have the caregiving responsibilities you do, but I'm slogging through the third COVID winter here in Kansas City and I'm just tired of it- the anxiety hovering over everything like a black cloud, the polarization on COVID issues such as vaccinations, having to postpone and postpone and postpone some things such as major travel. I'm dating a guy who feels the same way and neither of us is prone to feeling down.

What helps me/us:

-Gratitude, as mentioned earlier- focusing on blessings.
-Exercise. I gave up on the gym long ago but there are workouts on the Internet for all skill and exertion levels, many requiring no equipment or something simple such as 3-lb. weights.
-The occasional trip to Big Lots, TJ Maxx, or the ethnic grocery and Penzey's shops about an hour away, for interesting new foods, spices, sauces to try.
_I bought a Nook in January, 2020 before all this started. I'm happily downloading books from my public library.
-Road trips. BF and I feel pretty safe in hotels and can usually find a restaurant where the tables are far enough apart. The change of scenery really helps.
-I have a lot of volunteer commitments, mostly with the church and the Garden Club. We do tend to meet a lot on Zoom but I'm OK with that and it gives me a feeling of purpose.
-I've been taking on-line classes at a seminary an hour away. We do have an intensive "classroom weekend" and I did one via Zoom and then one last November in-person, after which one of the attendees tested positive for COVID. Fortunately I tested negative. You may find something you like at a community college if seminary isn't your thing.
-I also liked the suggestion of expanding your "pod" to include someone whose precautions you trust. My friend and I see each other every weekend and that keeps us sane; I meet another friend for coffee once a month or so.

This, too, shall pass. Someday.

 

[harllee]

Darlin, Just take one day at a time and find some enjoyment in it... You get out towards WNC i'll build a bonfire and we can enjoy some warm outside time.

Can't wait for the warm weather and getting back to the NC mountains but now there is just too much snow for me!

 

[harllee]

I'm glad it does not snow here, other than at high elevations. My favorite cure / mood improver is currently a Ducati.


Get yer motor runnin'.
Head out on the highway!

Snow is unusual here in the middle part of NC --we only get it every few years but we have had snow/sleet/freezing rain for 2 weekends now.

 

[MC Rider]

Better weather has to be coming, so hang in there.

 

[harllee]

Better weather has to be coming, so hang in there.

Yes Spring will be here before you know it. I could never live somewhere where there is constant winter snow, I don't know how those folks do it, maybe they get use to it and have better coats and boots than I do.

 

[MC Rider]

Yes Spring will be here before you know it. I could never live somewhere where there is constant winter snow, I don't know how those folks do it, maybe they get use to it and have better coats and boots than I do.

Time to buy a new warm coat and boots for those occasions?


Winter was the biggest reason I left No Illinois for So Cal.