Coronavirus Humor

JoeWras said:

Is it a bad thing I LOLed along with you, harley? Gotta be one of the best here so far, what with all this talk of homemade masks and all.

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Yes it is a bad thing. I had to send it to my DS when I stopped laughing.

The Moron Brothers...

We've seen these guys at music festivals and they are a hoot! Check them out on YouTube, Facebook, etc. They are hilarious. Here's their latest tune:

The recession has hit everybody really hard.

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I received some sobering news from my wife today. She admitted to me this morning that she was "very interested" in this guy she see's at work everyday. I was beside myself, pissed off and angry, but after fifteen minutes of stewing I remembered she's working from home now.

The Unknown Comic was obviously ahead of his time:

Dear Quarantine Diary,

Day 1 I can do this! Got enough food, toilet paper and wine to last a month.
Day 2 Opening my 8th bottle of wine. I fear my wine supply may not last.
Day 3 Strawberries. Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who knew?
Day 4 8PM. Removed my day pajamas and put on my night pajamas.
Day 5 Made hand sanitizer today. Looks like and tastes like Jello shots.
Day 6 I took the garbage out today, it took me 2 hours to decide what to wear.
Day 7 I noticed I laugh too much at my own jokes. And too loud, also.
Day 8 Still going to that new restaurant called the "The Kitchen". You gather all your own ingredients and make your own meal. I don't understand how the place is still in business.
Day 9 I put wine/liquor bottles in every room. I got dressed up and went bar room hopping. I stole some toilet paper from the bedroom and put in the guest bath room.
Day 10 I had a long conversation with a Web Designer I met the other day, who knew spiders were so interesting? But he hung around for an hour and heard me out before he left.
Day 11 Isolation is hard. I swear I heard the fridge just said " You're back again? What the hell you want this time?"
Day 12 Now I know why dogs get so excited when something is moving outside, or going for a walk! I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can't touch your face.
Day 14 I watched the birds fight over worms today. I had 1 beer and a bag of peanuts, the Cards won over the Blue Jays, I hope to see the Orioles tomorrow.
Day 15 Why does it feel like I've cooked dinner 300 times this month?
Day 16 I noticed I'm missing a roll of toilet from the bedroom closet, I think the spider is stealing from me.
Day 17 Gotta stay fit. I'm going to run from room to room, tomorrow. Drinks are already there if needed.
Day 19 Marathon was great idea; drinking room to room, was not. I did do 4 miles, I think, but slept all day yesterday. First time I didn't have to cook, Yay!
Day 20 Crafted today, I glued 97 wine corks to my wall and made a bulletin board.

I owned this Shel Silverstein book some 60+ years ago, (what happened to it, I don't know), but this cartoon seems apropos during self isolation:


Edited: On reflection it was likely closer to 50 years.

A suspected COVID-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," mumbles the patient from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"

Nemo2 said:

I owned this Shel Silverstein book some 60+ years ago, (what happened to it, I don't know), but this cartoon seems apropos during self isolation:

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I had to see if it is available. I like his work. You may want to find that book. I found:

$4,500.00 used
+$371.66 tax and $5.00 shipping

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Granted, it is for a 1st edition signed and had one personal illustration. The generic book was also available for $181 and $300.

CRLLS said:

You may want to find that book.

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Yeah.....I checked prices some years ago....it's no cheaper now.

Find it? It may be with my first wife.....so I'd have to find her too.

Has a horse ever suffered a worse indignity?

^^^^^^ That's Funny!

For 2020, early retirement packages will be in the form of a Golden Elbowbump.

CK 95 Mask

M.A.S.H. & The Coronavirus

Here in Ohio our Governor is Mike Dewine. He holds a daily news briefing with Dr. Amy Acton, Ohio's Director of Public Health. The briefings are honest, factual and full of science explained on a level that can be understood. And these two have heart and are sincere in the way they deliver the updates. These daily briefings have become very popular and so have Gov. Dewine and Dr. Acton.

Some clever person made this funny cartoon of them set to the theme music from "Laverne and Shirley". The man dancing through a couple of scenes is the Lt. Gov. Jon Husted.

Self Isolation Quarantine Diary

Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!

Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!

Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??

Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.

Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!

Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.

Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!

Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.

Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.

Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.

Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”

Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.

Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3–1.

Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?

Cheers!

the rodent said:

day 14 – watched the birds fight over a worm. The cardinals lead the blue jays 3–1.

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GO Cards!!

A marmot shares his feelings about Coronavirus.


https://youtu.be/iUXAHc-ABoY