Nemo2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 14, 2011
- Messages
- 8,368
+1
Love Steven Wright, I've had his stuff bookmarked for years - here are some more:
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
- I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
- I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
- I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
-
Love Steven Wright, I've had his stuff bookmarked for years - here are some more:
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
- I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
- I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
- I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
-