need advice from people who have done a lot of crazy things in life

I am guessing Senator has never been married or maybe he is divorced. Anyway his advice is the worst I have ever heard.
 
Since nobody else has asked - where are the naked pics of Kristi?
 
Teacher Terry said:
I am guessing Senator has never been married or maybe he is divorced. Anyway his advice is the worst I have ever heard.
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I have never been married. I have been with the same person for 29 years. That means I have never been divorced.

Marriage is obsolete. It is a way for government to keep track of things they have no business keeping track of, like who's sleeping with who. It creates a dependence that creates resentment.

And if marriage was really a right, you would not need a license.
 
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Kind of surprised by how many dudes are willing to shrug it off as no big deal or a "drunken roll in the sack" and to move on like nothing happened. Can't imagine having so little respect for my spouse to get to that point. What's the point of even being married at that point? Can't imagine these same guys would feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot.
 
Senator said:
It's no big deal. I do not even think it's irresponsible. They did something that is completely legal, natural and human.

It is not much different than going to the store together. Hopefully they had a great time.
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I may need to rethink my aversion to going to stores. Or maybe I'm going to the wrong stores. :)
 
DFDubb said:
Kind of surprised by how many dudes are willing to shrug it off as no big deal or a "drunken roll in the sack" and to move on like nothing happened. Can't imagine having so little respect for my spouse to get to that point. What's the point of even being married at that point? Can't imagine these same guys would feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot.
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I can’t speak for others, but I see it as a big deal, but it’s too late to avoid the big deal and the question is about what to do now. If asked about what to do before it happened, my response would have emphatically been to not do it. So my response may seem like I think it’s no big deal, but in reality, it’s just what I think is the best course of action given a bad situation.
 
Matt and Kristi both knew what they were doing was wrong, that it would hurt Matt's wife and his children, and they did it anyway. Infidelity is one of the cruelest things one human being can do to another. And they were both willing partners in this cruel act.

Matt needs to read the book Not Just Friends, and then follow its advice on how to end this mess. He may not like it.

Note: I agree I would not be pulled into this. If you feel you must do something buy Matt a copy of the book I mentioned above. Just don't give it to him in front of his wife or anybody else.
 
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Jerry1 said:
I can’t speak for others, but I see it as a big deal, but it’s too late to avoid the big deal and the question is about what to do now.
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+1
 
OP--my advice would be for you to stay out of their business.

They are Both equally guilty, both drunk, he's married, she knew he is married. Recipe for disaster.
They need to have no more contact with each other for a long time, if ever. I don't care that "they've been friends for a long time", they messed up. And, the truth will come out, eventually. It always does.

If Matt is that nervous, he needs to come clean with his wife, attend couples counseling, and work like the devil to mend his marriage. Or not, his choice, his life.
But I am only a stranger on the internet, so......
 
rodi said:
Kristi needs to stay away from him and give up massages.
Matt needs to keep it zipped and stay away from her.

As others have said - it's time for you to butt out of this. Posting, even with small details changed, on a public website is a betrayal of trust. If the wife finds out from another source - this thread could be found on an internet search... and used in legal proceedings. Never post personal stuff that can do damage on the internet. Ever.

Sorry to be harsh - but it's time for you to step back and let them figure it out.
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A dear relative involved in a huge lawsuit concerning love relationship, a horrific accident, lifelong damages. Attorneys used, text messages, all FB contacts with friends, family...many opinions exchanged even with people they didn't know. Blog references, phone V.M. messages. Very serious.

OP, how do you someone on this forum doesn't have first hand knowledge of the situation you speak of?
 
DFDubb said:
Can't imagine having so little respect for my spouse to get to that point. What's the point of even being married at that point? Can't imagine these same guys would feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot.
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When I went through Divorce Recovery sessions, sadly infidelity was a common reason for a ruined marriage. We had a psychologist talk to us about it, among other topics, and the real trust. Not trust that if we get in to a compromising position we will resist the temptation. Rather, we trust our spouse not to get into a position where he/she is tempted in the first place. Getting into that position is like lighting a match to check how much gasoline is in the gas can.

If the shoe were on the other foot, and the wife became pregnant by her 'fling' partner, I wonder what these guys would be saying. I know of only one person who had that experience and the marriage survived. He ended up legally adopting the other man's child as his own. That is an interesting story on its own.
 
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Unless someone has a mutually agreed on open marriage it’s a big deal. From Senator’s attitude I would guess his relationship is open.
 
I agree with what Aerides has posted. You should minimize your involvement. They should not be in contact and when they see each other in a group, they should be civil and friendly, but no more. As others have posted, the key relationship worth maintaining is the marriage and Matt's relationship with his kids. Neither of those are helped by trying to maintain his friendship with Kristi. Time for Matt to put his wife and kids' interests before his own desires to relive his young adulthood.
 
Guilty pleasures are the sweetest taboo

I'm in the camp that wasn't born yesterday. A one-off? Blame it on the booze?
Bosh! Flimshaw!

Even so, since mine is a pretty humdrum existence, a peek into the lives of misbehaving people is a treat. I guess that explains the popularity of "reality" television shows.
 
DFDubb said:
Kind of surprised by how many dudes are willing to shrug it off as no big deal or a "drunken roll in the sack" and to move on like nothing happened. Can't imagine having so little respect for my spouse to get to that point. What's the point of even being married at that point? Can't imagine these same guys would feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot.
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+1

If my spouse ever hid something of significance from me (cheating certainly counts as significant), I would never be able to see him the same way again.


Maybe being completely trusted by another person just isn't important to those who shrug off a "drunken roll in the sack". :confused:
 
As I think about this, I'm curious why you would specifically want advice from people who have done a lot of crazy things in life? You can ignore my advice, as that's definitely not me.

And fwiw, the internet can be a remarkably small place. I'm in agreement that you might want to be more cautious about these types of posts. A reasonably bright person could probably connect the dots and potentially identify the people just with the information provided. For someone actually connected to the situation, it would be a no brainer.

I agree that this is going to come to light eventually and it's going to be a painful mess for the innocent parties.
 
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workburnout said:
It will be interesting if anything becomes of it, I mean if he leaves his wife or not. I do not see her ever getting married to him and she already has plans to go on a blind date with another guy a friend wanted her to meet.

But you never know, I guess anything could happen.
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It's always "interesting" to see married people cheat.

It'll be even more interesting if they come here to complain about how much alimony and child support they have to pay and how it's making it hard for them to retire early.
 
workburnout said:
So I think she was just venting and asked for advice.
I have none to give, other than for her to leave it alone and not contact him for a while, and when she sees him at events be cordial but don't get too chummy talking.
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Poor advice.

Better would be to leave it alone and not contact him ever, and avoid seeing at events at all costs.

Oh, and to grow up, be an adult, and never use drinking as an excuse again.
 
Senator said:
It's no big deal. I do not even think it's irresponsible. They did something that is completely legal, natural and human.
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No big deal - I'm sure that's what the wife's lawyer will think once she finds out.

Maybe the kids can be convinced that what their dad did was completely legal, natural and human when they get to see him every other weekend. I'm sure that will make them feel better.
 
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