Too Frugal - Anybody Else Struggle Spending Too LITTLE?

[Andre1969]

Well, I just dusted off the credit card today and splurged a bit, on a new pair of shoes. I bought a new pair of Puma running shoes, which I figure can replace my 4 year old Nikes. And then those 4-year old Nikes can replace my 7-year old Nikes that have Shoe-Goo holding the soles on, that I currently use as a work-shoe, for stuff like cutting the grass, and other types of chores/projects where I don't feel like wearing a work boot.

I guess the real test will be, though, if I can force myself to get rid of the 7-year old Nikes! I have a bad habit of not only being chea- er I mean frugal, but I'm a bit of a hoarder as well

Now, I guess if I can just force myself to get rid of the ~20 year old Regal, and into something a bit newer as a daily driver! Although with the way car prices and supplies are these days, I'm in no big rush!

 

[Major Tom]

I guess the real test will be, though, if I can force myself to get rid of the 7-year old Nikes! I have a bad habit of not only being chea- er I mean frugal, but I'm a bit of a hoarder as well

Now, I guess if I can just force myself to get rid of the ~20 year old Regal, and into something a bit newer as a daily driver! Although with the way car prices and supplies are these days, I'm in no big rush!

I feel your struggle! The way I deal with getting rid of things that are worn out (or close to) is by placing them in a separate pile, in a corner. If, after a certain amount of time has elapsed, I have not used them, it feels like a natural progression to toss them out. I currently have a small stack of old sneakers by the door that should be meeting their maker fairly soon.

T-shirts are an issue for me. Once they are no longer respectable enough to wear out, I relegate them to indoor wear. The final stage is to demote them to wearing for DIY tasks and yardwork. My problem, is that I have too many, and have trouble throwing a t-shirt away unless it is on the verge of falling apart. I need to raise my standards, and start cycling them through the various stages of use a bit faster. Many of the shirts have designs/logos on them that I have attachments to. Some are reminiscent of particular life stages, so the death of a t-shirt feels a bit like saying goodbye to a part of my past.

 

[Bunker]

Airfare for my international flight is around $1K on the economy class, but it would be more than $6K on the business. Not sure if I can justify the cost difference. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I could just buy three economy seats instead ($3K) and lie down?

I've done the economy plus (prime economy or whatever you call) on a couple of different airlines, but that doesn't add much of anything.

I suppose for me, Premium Eco was a gentle let down from Business/First.
And then the final, hard KA-CHUNK! from there back to regular Economy.

Life is good, never mind.

The wife would probably disagree, but she's still around. LOL.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

"Why spend $10~$12,000 just to get there and back? Suck It Up for 19 hours, and you'll have more to spend on fun and shopping for things that last for years, unlike a temporary airplane ride."

That's the part that gets me....how much more I'd enjoy the week or two in between spending another $1-2K per day. The hotel room would be so much nicer, and/or the meals really fancy, all for slightly more discomfort on either end! Although if I could get business class for, say, $1-2K more for a flight more than 2-3 hours, I would probably do it.

 

[Aerides]

That's the part that gets me....how much more I'd enjoy the week or two in between spending another $1-2K per day. The hotel room would be so much nicer, and/or the meals really fancy, all for slightly more discomfort on either end! Although if I could get business class for, say, $1-2K more for a flight more than 2-3 hours, I would probably do it.

Why not both! upgrade the flight AND the hotels/meals. But yeah if you do have to pick one, it's the hotel, not the flight.

On our last trip to Japan, the idea of the looming 12+ hour coach flight home was something I'd have preferred not to have thought about.

It's one thing sitting in coach to go somewhere nice, it's another to have to do it...again, in a matter of a few weeks, just to come home (no matter how nice home is). For short flights it's rarely worth it, but for longer international ones I'm definitely talking DH into that once we can plan our next trip.

 

[braumeister]

I think it was Ambrose Bierce who pointed out that money only has value to us when we part with it.

 

[FIRE-Traveler]

HOLY COW!

I make my first post, then get distracted by the holidays, and come back to TEN PAGES of replies?!?!?!?



Guess it's time to get comfortable, grab some , and start catching up!

 

[MichaelB]

HOLY COW!

I make my first post, then get distracted by the holidays, and come back to TEN PAGES of replies?!?!?!?



Guess it's time to get comfortable, grab some , and start catching up!

Well, it has been 2 weeks and this is a retirement forum. What do you think retired people do all day?

 

[NW-Bound]

Well, it has been 2 weeks and this is a retirement forum. What do you think retired people do all day?

Yet, when I occasionally click away from the forum and bring up my brokerage stock screen to see if there's a chance to sell a put or a call option, people say that it is work. Hah!


Anyway, back to the OP, if he waited a few more weeks, might want to skip his thread entirely and read a new one which may pop up with a title like this: "Look at this budget and tell me how to cut it down".


I remember one recent year when the market started out strong in January, then collapsed down 12% in a matter of 2 weeks. You never know.

 

[street]

HOLY COW!

I make my first post, then get distracted by the holidays, and come back to TEN PAGES of replies?!?!?!?



Guess it's time to get comfortable, grab some , and start catching up!

Lol
I hope you read every post also. A great topic and great discussion.

 

[foxfirev5]

Yesterday I had a flat tire and pulled it off in the garage and took it to a local tire shop. They informed me they probably couldn't get to it until today. I fretted about whether I would need a new tire which would screw up my rotation and cost a few hundred dollars. When I got the news of a simple fix and no charge I was elated. Meanwhile the big jump in my investment accounts over the same number of hours meant nothing. I guess I'll always, at some level, have a poor man's mentality.

 

[HarryHawk]

My Grandparents were frugal savers, my Parents were frugal savers, and my wife and I are frugal savers. We are comfortable but are careful on what and where we spend our money. For better or worse, my son has broken the chain. He spends but he also makes a very good income (both he and his wife are M.D.s)

I'm hoping to start spending a bit more than I have in the past, especially because I have a brand-new granddaughter to spoil.

p.s. I do own a couple nice guitars and some nice fly-fishing equipment, although I am starting to rehome some of the fishing stuff.

 

[nwsteve]

She finally agreed, albeit with a touch of guilt, so I followed through supportively, "OK, good for you, Mom! How much extra per month would you like to set up?". She paused thoughtfully then replied,"$100."

I had this exact issue with my Mom! Since I had POA and managed her accounts, I simply bumped the monthly transfer from her Vanguard account to her checking account. Amazingly, I am pretty sure she never caught on to what I did--but then numbers were never her thing

 

[RobbieB]

My Grandparents were frugal savers, my Parents were frugal savers, and my wife and I are frugal savers. We are comfortable but are careful on what and where we spend our money. For better or worse, my son has broken the chain. He spends but he also makes a very good income (both he and his wife are M.D.s)

I'm hoping to start spending a bit more than I have in the past, especially because I have a brand-new granddaughter to spoil.

p.s. I do own a couple nice guitars and some nice fly-fishing equipment, although I am starting to rehome some of the fishing stuff.

Good for you! If your children have moved out, living well and not asking for dough or to move back in, you are a successful parent.

Don't matter how they spend their dough anymore as long as it doesn't affect you -

My Mom once said she was so proud of me (living on my own 2000 miles away) because she had a lot of friends whose children had moved back in.

 

[DrRoy]

HOLY COW!

I make my first post, then get distracted by the holidays, and come back to TEN PAGES of replies?!?!?!?



Guess it's time to get comfortable, grab some , and start catching up!

Well, it has been 2 weeks and this is a retirement forum. What do you think retired people do all day?

Good start to the day. On topic, we spent double this year what we did the first year of RE (4 years ago). We had a couple remodel projects and some unusual travel. Next year will be down over 20% with a new car but no remodeling. The following year will be down again with no unusual spend.

 

[Badger]

My problem, is that I have too many, and have trouble throwing a t-shirt away unless it is on the verge of falling apart... Many of the shirts have designs/logos on them that I have attachments to. Some are reminiscent of particular life stages, so the death of a t-shirt feels a bit like saying goodbye to a part of my past.

I understand only too well. I have way too many and some are more than 20 years old.



Cheers!

 

[Time2]

^^^ Where are you going to hide all that cash?

Is it safe to put that much cash under the mattress of your nursing home bed? Don't you think they would be suspicious seeing your mattress 6" higher than its normal height?

Just don't let a local policeman see you have large amounts of cash, they can confiscate it as suspected illegally earned money (drugs) turn it over to the Feds, after they get their cut and you have to prove it's not!
There are some sad stories about this.
These forfeiture laws need to be changed, it is theft of property by the government made legal. They can take your money without any arrest.



https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=forfeiture+of+cash+under+poca



https://www.aclu.org/issues/criminal-law-reform/reforming-police/asset-forfeiture-abuse

 

[Time2]

A successful gardener usually ends up with more veggie than he can eat. A hobbyist woodworker keeps building more furniture.

Why? Would it not cause them stress?

This garden thing is my wife. She has a large garden, produces way more than we can use. After her early morning 3 mile run she's out in the garden weeding, picking the bounty, and even facilitating sex between the plants, then comes in and puts it in boxes in the bed of the truck. Usually makes the complaint/observation that she has to many of XXXX and hopes she can sell it all. Then watches 3 soaps and leaves to make the rounds selling her vegetables, this is often a 3 hour trip. Most often she returns and says I did it! I sold it all.
I ask her if she was going to plant less next year so she doesn't have to work so much, she said, "No, I love it!"
"To each their own."

 

[street]

Good for you! If your children have moved out, living well and not asking for dough or to move back in, you are a successful parent.

Don't matter how they spend their dough anymore as long as it doesn't affect you -

My Mom once said she was so proud of me (living on my own 2000 miles away) because she had a lot of friends whose children had moved back in.

I agree with your mom. I see kids moving back home (30's & 40's) and just wonder why.

 

[Time2]

Frugal or cheap?
My adult son lives with us, he makes and takes his lunch to work. Yesterday he came home and was cleaning out his lunch container, he had a small Tupperware container with soy sauce and was about to dump what was left in the sink. My wife said, "don't throw that away, that $20 a bottle" My son said what is that 2 cents worth? We both started laughing and proceeded to find the bottle was 800mL, we measured what was left in the Tupperware container. We calculated there was $0.14 worth of soy sauce left in the container. He saved it for tomorrow.

Frugal or cheap?




btw, we are fat fire.

 

[Time2]

Yesterday I had a flat tire and pulled it off in the garage and took it to a local tire shop. They informed me they probably couldn't get to it until today. I fretted about whether I would need a new tire which would screw up my rotation and cost a few hundred dollars. When I got the news of a simple fix and no charge I was elated. Meanwhile the big jump in my investment accounts over the same number of hours meant nothing. I guess I'll always, at some level, have a poor man's mentality.

LOL, Been there done that, understand completely!

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Frugal or cheap?
My adult son lives with us, he makes and takes his lunch to work. Yesterday he came home and was cleaning out his lunch container, he had a small Tupperware container with soy sauce and was about to dump what was left in the sink. My wife said, "don't throw that away, that $20 a bottle" My son said what is that 2 cents worth? We both started laughing and proceeded to find the bottle was 800mL, we measured what was left in the Tupperware container. We calculated there was $0.14 worth of soy sauce left in the container. He saved it for tomorrow.

Frugal or cheap?

btw, we are fat fire.

I'd call that frugal, as you're not stiffing anyone or getting by with lower quality, you're just being more efficient by reducing waste, even if you don't have to.

 

[Time2]

Good for you! If your children have moved out, living well and not asking for dough or to move back in, you are a successful parent.

I hope to someday be successful!
Just two weeks ago made the last tuition payment for my 30 yr old daughter that decided at 26yrs old to become a dentist, I hold a mortgage on their fixer upper house, until they fix it up and remortgage it. My 27 year old son with a chemistry degree is living with us. Long story short, he was engaged to a Canadian and came home for two weeks to say good by, when Covid closed the boarders. The wedding was delayed and then they called it off. So he is still here which is fine with me, I told him to stay as long as he can stand us, and save as much money as he can.
I'm 66, hoping the kids are off my dole before RMDs start.

Ya, that's tongue in cheek.

 

[NW-Bound]

Frugal or cheap?
My adult son lives with us, he makes and takes his lunch to work. Yesterday he came home and was cleaning out his lunch container, he had a small Tupperware container with soy sauce and was about to dump what was left in the sink. My wife said, "don't throw that away, that $20 a bottle" My son said what is that 2 cents worth? We both started laughing and proceeded to find the bottle was 800mL, we measured what was left in the Tupperware container. We calculated there was $0.14 worth of soy sauce left in the container. He saved it for tomorrow.

Frugal or cheap?

btw, we are fat fire.

If the soy sauce is uncontaminated and in its own container, and can be used the next day, there's no reason to dump it then have to refill it the next day.

This is a labor-saving move.

 

[Vinnygret]

Hi everyone, this is my first post.



I just found this community today while searching Google, and after reading a few interesting threads decided to join.

I feel like there are a lot of like-minded people in here, but I'm wondering if one aspect of my perspective might be an outlier?

Short version: I'm too frugal (cheap?) and struggle with spending my money.

I'm in my 40's and "mostly" retired. I have a small business that doesn't take much time, but generates pretty good cash-flow. In addition, I have a lot of diverse investments.

My parents were both SUPER frugal. Even to the point where they died with a LOT of money. They could have had a much better life (and relationship with each other, family, and friends) had they spent more more and worried and stressed less about money.

You'd think I would have learned from that, and made better choices. Unfortunately, it's just ingrained in me to be frugal, which has also impacted my life and my relationships.

To try and force a different perspective, I've even put together a spreadsheet with "worst-case" scenarios, i.e., stock market tanks, business fails, house value plummets, kid's college is 5x more than the average, etc. etc. etc.

Basically: "If I live another 40-50 years, and worst-case most things falls apart, how much will I be able to spend monthly?"

... and even in that case, I'm still going to be just fine.

So, my questions for anybody reading and/or interested:

1. Am I the only one that struggles with spending money?
2. Does anybody else have problems with being "too frugal"?
3. How does one overcome these kinds of struggles?

I'm honestly not trying to "humble-brag" or whatever the kids say. I'm very grateful that I have the opportunity to even have this "problem"... it definitely feels better than worrying about living month-to-month and not having the flexibility and safety that money can provide. I just wish I could overcome some of the frugality issues, and I'm very curious if I'm a statistical outlier in this group or no?

Looking forward to your thoughts and replies!

I'm older than most of the people in this community and I am still in the habit of frugality. My father recently passed away at age 94 and I was talking about my expected inheritance with a very wise friend. I mentioned how I would invest my share of the inheritance and she reminded me that I would soon be 70 and the "future is now." I try to keep that in mind. I just have a habit of being an ant rather than a grasshopper. I'm working on enjoying the money I have worked to amass-without being reckless.