45th High School Reunion or No?

[mailbagman]

Everyone seems to almost say the same thing. The same In group just hang with their own. It's like watching the movie "Ground Hog Day" over and over. The results don't change.

 

[bookman51]

High School Reunions

HIgh school reunions are interesting. I went to a very small school with a graduating class of 23. There were cliques. While I had some close friends, but I moved among the cliques okay. I missed my 10th, but attended by 20th, 30th, 40th, 45th, and 50th. They did not hold the 55th because of Covid. About half attend, and usually not the top of the class. As time goes on, socio-economic status during and after high school has become less important. We have lost three of the 23. I still stay in touch with some through some via Facebook. I have done a couple of brief biographies of the class members for the 45th and 50th reunion. I enjoyed doing that. Kind of the salt of the earth folks, and I think we all just enjoy getting together and talking about old times. Now for my wife, she went to a much larger high school. She attended her 20th and will never go to another one. Same cliques, etc. So as they say, mileage will vary.

 

[ears20]

Some very interesting responses, especially from those who attended a 40th/50th after never going to any prior events.

HS was not a time in my life that I enjoyed, even in retrospect. There was nobody I truly considered a friend, and I haven’t spoken to any of my classmates since graduation 45 years ago. Even the invitations I receive are generic, without any type of personal note (our class had 90 people). I can’t imagine why I’d be interested in seeing those people in a social setting.

However, some of the stories about people being more open, approachable, and friendly have made me perhaps more receptive to attending. I still don’t see it happening, though, and certainly wouldn’t alter my plans for one.

 

[Brat]

I graduated in 1959 and was one of the 'geeks', not at all a member of the "In-Crowd". The 10-year reunion was not fun for me. The 50th and 60th were the best. Much to my surprise one of my classmates toasted me for being the one he most admired (I suspect he thought of me as the one who 'got away'). Frankly, I wish I had more time to talk to my classmates.

 

[azxracer]

I went to a few earlier (10 yr & 25 yr), then 50th rolled around and was undecided. Then a good friend from HS and beyond passed away, so I decided to attend in his honor, if for no other reason. I had a GREAT time. Many people I hadn't seen since high school showed up and I reconnected with people I had known since 1st grade. It was definitely worth the travel (we live 1600 miles away now) and cost.

 

[FREE866]

Love this post.


I say definitely go, but I'm a very wistful person and at 55 yo I still think about high school very often. Was an extraordinarily difficult time early on , but by senior year I really cherished it.

 

[Souschef]

My late wife went to school in Pittsburgh.We got an invitation to the 50th, and realized thet 90% of the people still lived in Pittsburgh, while we were on the West Coast.
We ended up purchasing a photo of the reunion class and that was it.

 

[FlaGator]

Anyone here ever consider attending (or perhaps actually attended) a HS reunion just to try out a "Revenge of the Nerds" or "Romy and Michelle's HS Reunion" theme?

Yes! I went to my 40th a few years ago, and swore to myself I would bruise the male parts of the two thugs that beat me up in the pool during PE one day. Fortunately for them, and my arrest-free record, they didn’t show. Probably in prison, too broke to attend or dead.

 

[Rambler]

I went to my 40th. We had only had one previously, at 30 years, but I was living overseas and didn’t feel it was worth the flight home. I enjoyed seeing one of my two best HS friends. He also did not attend the 30th. The other friend didn’t attend either. The hope that they’d be there was my only motivation to go, since neither are on FB. Turns out, out paths had diverged so much that there was little to talk about. If we have a 45th, or 50th, I’ll make the attempt to go, maybe. If I can’t make it, it won’t be a huge loss.

 

[Delawaredave5]

I went to my 40th, rekindled some new friendships, and still get together with some people for golf since. Every person is different. As I get older I am reaching out more to folks I knew in the past, not living in the past, but just trying to reconnect - sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't . Good luck

 

[Dreamer]

I have been to one. I can't even remember which year, but maybe 25th. I did not enjoy myself and don't have any plans to attend any again. It was hard for me to even try to think what to talk about to these strangers.

I was not in the "in crowd" during school. I also started working at 15 and did not go to any athletic events or any other school activities. I am not an extrovert.

 

[candrew]

On the FB page created by my H.S. graduating class for their 45th I, along with some other former classmates, were listed as "Missing In Action". I plan to keep it that way.

 

[samcat]

I moved to my high school town just before 9th grade and never really felt like I fit in in high school. I had friends but no one close.

I have enjoyed reunions. I missed my tenth but made my 20th, 25th and 30th. Missed my 35th because of work and was really sad. Can't wait for my 40th!

I have enjoyed going to the reunions especially with FB. I know what people are doing and can talk to them in person about their families, lives, etc.

Of course, I'm the one that would always push for a family reunion so I like get togethers like that!

 

[scrabbler1]

Yes! I went to my 40th a few years ago, and swore to myself I would bruise the male parts of the two thugs that beat me up in the pool during PE one day. Fortunately for them, and my arrest-free record, they didn’t show. Probably in prison, too broke to attend or dead.

From one of my 2 HS friends, the one I tracked down in 2005 and met up with in 2006, I learned that another classmate, one who this friend was good friends with during his childhood but was one of my biggest tormentors, killed himself in 1994 at age 31. I can't say I was upset at learning that news.

 

[meleana]

Just got invited to my 50th in 2024. They need a deposit now to reserve the place. (In another state where we used to live) Not going.

The only one I went to was my 10th.

 

[rodi]

Only one I went to was my 30th. Most of my friends did not. We ended up having what we called 'The Nerd Reunion', in my backyard later that year - about 20 of us - plus significant others. Much funner time because we'd curated who was invited.... I'm still in touch with most of these folks on a semi-regular basis.

For the official reunion there was a funny situation. My high school, my graduating class, was the basis for Cameron Crowe's "Fast Time at Ridgemont High" book and subsequent movie. One of my classmates (who attended the nerd reunion) actually sued and settled out of court for defamation of character. (He was the basis of one of the major characters.) At the table I sat at - which was mostly folks I didn't know in high school - 3 of the guys were convinced they were the basis for the Sean Penn "Spicoli character. I'm pretty sure they weren't because some of the stuff in the book indicates it was a mash up of two guys I'd had in some of my classes.

I think all of the official reunions will continue to have a "Fast Times" theme...

 

[youbet]

^^^^^

Cool! What year were you in when Cameron Crowe came back for a year (1979) to do research for his book? If I'm adding the years up correctly (countin' on my fingers actually), you were a senior in 1979? Did you actually get to meet him? Did he sit in on any of your classes?

 

[foxfirev5]

Small town USA. Although not officially invited to my 45th my mom got a knock on her door. She had continued to live there for 65 years after WW2. Meanwhile DW and I split the town a year after marriage in 1978. Anyway the ladies asked her to invite me to the reunion. I thought it was a joke. People that absolutely would have nothing to do with me years ago now have a sudden fondness?

DW beat me out. She was the hot one in HS and not even second hand invited.

 

[rodi]

^^^^^

Cool! What year were you in when Cameron Crowe came back for a year (1979) to do research for his book? If I'm adding the years up correctly (countin' on my fingers actually), you were a senior in 1979? Did you actually get to meet him? Did he sit in on any of your classes?

Yes - I'm class of 79. He was on campus the spring semester. I graduated early (because I was bored and had the credits) at the end of the fall semester, to start at junior college. So I never met him. But most of my friends knew him. The one friend (who later sued) was buddies with him - hung out in the journalism/school newspaper crowd. He sued mainly to get his attention and get him to renew the friendship. Reading the book (which was lightly fictionalized - vs the movie which was more heavily fictionalized) it was pretty easy to figure out who were the basis for the characters. Many of the things that happened in the book and movie happened in real life. Including the pizza delivery to class incident. Yeah - it was a high school with a heavy surfer and stoner contingent. LOL

FWIW - the school was not Ridgemont High in suburban LA... It was in San Diego. The (early version of the) book actually had a slip up and used the actual name of the year book, and actual school name. I'm sure they corrected that in later versions. You can google it if you're really curious about what high school.

Locally there is a bar/restaurant called Fast Times - they have the senior pictures, enlarged, on the wall that leads to the bathrooms. You can find my senior picture on that wall, towards the floor.

 

[Koolau]

The one friend (who later sued) was buddies with him - hung out in the journalism/school newspaper crowd. He sued mainly to get his attention and get him to renew the friendship.

Yeah, that's always worked for me. I think that strategy is discussed by Dale Carnegie.



But seriously, thanks for this. I enjoy your insights to the movie which I've always enjoyed. My HS was never that interesting though we certainly had some characters. Being from the mid west in the mid 60s, and considering that the 60s didn't really happen until the 70s in my area, it's no wonder my HS didn't track RH. YMMV

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I never fit in well at my high school- I basically spent 4 years feeling like a complete misfit.

To my absolute astonishment college was awesome- I made friends easily and enjoyed myself immensely. I went to one hs reunion and spent the whole night feeling like I did in high school. You couldn't drag me to another one with a team of wild horses. Everyone else seemed to be having a great time and most of my current friends seem to love them. Maybe you would too. It could just be me...

 

[Goonie]

My freshman and sophomore years, I hung out with my friends who were juniors and seniors. My junior and senior years, I hung out with friends from another high school in neighboring town about 15 miles away. I had very few friends in my own class, let alone any close friends. So, to quote an old friend of mine, I got over high school the night they handed me a diploma.

That said, I did attend the 10 year reunion because they were having a good band and the place was known for great food! I got there a little after 5:00 p.m. and ran into four friends and we sat together and had a great time. I originally figured I'd stay just long enough to eat and listen to a few songs. Instead the five of us hung around until the owner of the venue escorted us to the exit and told us to leave because we were the last ones there and he wanted to go home....at half past midnight. We had a great time!

Then I went to the 20 year reunion, and it was a waste of time and money. It was at a different venue, the food was somewhere between mediocre and lousy, and the had a D.J. that was pathetic! There was only one of my friends there and we sat together, and both of us left right after the food.

Our 45th was scrubbed in '20 due to covid, though they're having a belated one this year. I won't be attending it or any down the road.

As for changing travel plans to attend a reunion.....I wouldn't even consider it.

 

[scrabbler1]

Would any of you have gone to their HS reunions had they been held in less formal venues, such as a picnic instead of a more expensive restaurant or club? Some no-shows, I have heard, would have liked a picnic instead of a more expensive venue because they could bring their kids. Others just didn't like the cost of a more expensive venue. I have also heard of HS reunion committees offering both venues, a picnic during the day and an adult-only event at night, with the attendees opting for either one, or both.

 

[Badger]

Would any of you have gone to their HS reunions had they been held in less formal venues, such as a picnic instead of a more expensive restaurant or club? Some no-shows, I have heard, would have liked a picnic instead of a more expensive venue because they could bring their kids. Others just didn't like the cost of a more expensive venue. I have also heard of HS reunion committees offering both venues, a picnic during the day and an adult-only event at night, with the attendees opting for either one, or both.

I tried to convince the organizers which were the class officers to do exactly that. Citing the same rational. At the time my budget was very limited and I was sure there were others that were in the same situation. Unfortunately they decided to have a nice heavy hors d'oeuvres or a dinner and held at a exclusive Club. I went anyway and had a good time. But I sure would have liked to have seen other classmates but couldn't make it

 

[Sunnymar]

In 2008 we had a mini reunion at our home, we didn't plan it, it happened as we invited more and more people.

I've gone to a few many years ago, and one in 2010 because I felt obligated to one of the organizers. I didn't go to the one in 2015., there were only 11 from our class. The big reunions combine 6 classes at a hotel with a (boring)sit down dinner. It's been many years since high school, it is difficult to remember my classmates, much less all the other years. Never again.
Next month we (high school classmates) are holding a "gathering" of classmates in our home. It will be about 40-45 people we chose to invite. Several we haven't seen since high school, many are people I see on FB, so I know what is going on in their life. A couple have never been to a reunion so I've been telling them who will be here and a little about their current life. The last reunion in 2015 only had 11 from our class, and many of those said never again. We've been successful sending an email invitation, then following up by email, text or phone. Letting them know it is our class only so they will know everyone there, casual, lots of good finger foods but no long sit down dinner (boring) in our back yard. We will have three servers, preparing and serving guests.
Many of you mention the "in crowd", if I had to define the classmates coming, they seem to be a broad mix of people. I graduated 56 years ago, all the "high school stuff" is long gone.

I have a core group of girlfriends (four of us) from high school, we get together every few years. One of them I've known since grade school, I count her as a close dear friend, we text and call frequntly.
My DH has a couple friends he's known since grade school that he keeps in touch with, rarely in person. They live nearby, but our lifestyles are very different or as my DH says, if he met them today he'd never want to see them again, but he loves the long bond he's had with them.
I wish you all contentment with each of your decisions regarding reunions.