Slacker, slacker, I was a kept man for almost 20 years, that's a slacker.
My much older sister was married to a guy that retired early - took his pension - she continued to work and would make this statement "I marched and burned my bra in the 60's so I could work and my husband stays home!?"
That wasn't the only issue they had - but I always loved that statement.
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Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs I've known that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.But wait.... if the wife retires early and the husband continues to work that is considered totally normal and perfectly fine? If so, then gender equality is a one-way street. If one is fine then the inverse should be fine as well.
Wife has me feeling a little guilty about retiring. I retired last year (58 years old). My wife is older. She was 64 when I retired.
We were walking the dog tonight talked with someone in the neighborhood. It came up in the conversation, and I said I was retired. Of course, I got the usual "you look too young to retire" comment. I responded that I am lucky that my wife still wants to work part-time
During the walk, I thanked my wife for being able for being able to retire when I did.The reason I was able to retire was the addition of her SS. She said that it embarrasses her when I tell someone I am retired, and she thinks I am a slackard.
I don't feel like a slackard, and I certainly enjoy retirement. I have pensions from 2 employers (not great amounts). Wife took SS early shorting us about $200 per month had she waited to 66. She works part time and wants to do so. We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage). We live comfortably, no different than when I was working.
We have 2 nice 401k's that have not yet been touched. Bottom line is that we are financially sound. I told her she can retire any time she wants. That would be when we would start tapping into one of the 401k's until I collect SS.
So I look at this a a communtiy enterprise. All of our money is community property and we have been married almot 30 years. All communtiy effort. I look at it as why not retire if it is financially doable.
I would not have been able to retire if she did not take SS early. So, am I a slackard, and wrong to retire?
Exactly. I've lost count of all the SAHMs that slipped into early retirement without a word from anyone about being a slacker.
She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.
I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.
EDIT: figured out that the real issue was not that I should work till I am 65; rather, it had to do with other stuff.
"other stuff" care to elaborate? you don't have to, but we seem to get a lot of threads about couples having difficulty adjusting to ER.
Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?
Only if you don't count your unbilled credit cards purchases as debt........oh, hold on, that's a different thread.
(Me, I'd say if you don't work, and you have no intention of ever working again, you are, for all intents & purposes, retired.......and good luck to you!)
. . . . Is it inaccurate to say you are retired when only the taking of wife's SS made it financially feasible?
Thank you everyone for your input.
Everyone faces uncertainty over finances, but there are lots of tools like FIRECALC that can give one as much confidence as is possible. For a spouse to ignore those tools and just insist the other keep working until they say it is OK to retire is outrageous............
It's hard enough as a single person to know when is the right time and am I really protected for the possible things that could come up during a long retirement. I'd imagine it's doubly hard for a couple when you each have an idea of what is enough.
We were well into retirement when my former wife who had worked little and earned less shouted at me to get a job. Instead, I got a divorce and I consider that a much more satisfactory solution.No true [-]scotsman[/-] RE would agree.
OP--good luck and GodSpeed with getting on the same page with DW. Hopefully transitory discomfort is all that is happening.
OP already stated his DW does not need to keep working, they have enough (from his perspective at least).If the only way that you were able to retire is by living off your wife's income then you may be retired but you are not financially independent. To see you represent yourself to everyone as Retired may be a bit misleading/annoying from her perspective.
OP already stated his DW does not need to keep working, they have enough (from his perspective at least).
We were well into retirement when my former wife who had worked little and earned less shouted at me to get a job. Instead, I got a divorce and I consider that a much more satisfactory solution.
Ha
My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire.
My view is that the family income is a pool and it wouldn't matter who took the SS to enable either party to retire. ...