Thought I should give a brief update for all those that supported me in this thread. My divorce was final October 9th and I have the decree in hand. It was as non-contentious as I hoped it might be. There was no communication with my ex during this time. He did not get a lawyer and he never called mine. Hence I felt some obligation to call him the day it was final to let him know.
He seemed surprised and started in on a few blaming statements such as "you are the one that did it" and something about "my not keeping him informed".
I simply responded, "It was up to him to keep himself informed". I also said, "I didn't appreciate the way he characterized this to the children and that he bore as much responsibility for it as me. He said "he didn't want to hear it".
Anyway, I am content, peaceful and dare I say, happy for the most part. It is strange to begin to reclaim parts of myself I lost. What parts? The part of me that loved to dance and laugh. The part of me that looks forward to what may be in the future rather than dreading the next crisis I knew would come. I have gone out and I will continue to go to dinner but all that has told me is that I am no where near ready to take on another relationship. Good to know, huh?
Thank you all for your support and kind words. I do not know that anyone will find this thread in the future but if so, I hope it helps them.