I retired Dec. 31, 2015. In January, DM who is 85 and widowed had a mild stroke. She'd lived independently in her home and the Dr. insisted that she needed a full time caregiver in the home. For about a month my two sisters traded off watching her - they both live a few miles away. I live across the country and they ask me to stay with her for a couple of weeks in March. During that time, she visited an independent living facility, that has adjoining assisted living and a memory care unit.
While she'd had memory problems before the stroke, they got worse afterwards. I moved her into the facility in March and put her house up for sale. It sold in June and I went back for the closing. While she sometimes complains that she enjoyed her home better than the facility (national chain - Brookdale), all of us recognize that it would not have worked otherwise. We'd visited the facility about 2 years earlier, so she had some idea of the amenities beforehand and I think that helped. We'd rate the facility as A+ for care and amenities. It costs her about $3300 a month and that covers breakfast and one other meal daily. They have a 24 hour nurse on site and provide transportation, etc. Her income is just slightly more than her living costs presently, but she has some savings, and a few investments to carry her forward, she'd make it in a nursing home a few years (5-6) before being completely out of money. Assisted living is almost $60,000 a year and memory care is around $90,000 annually. There is an option in independent living that she's in to have someone check (nurse's aide) on her 2X a day to make sure she's eating and is OK, etc. This costs $500 a month and would be significantly less than full time assisted living.
On a personal note I've had to put off some plans for retirement projects and trips, and other family needs because of the need to care for mom. It's been a very stressful and difficult period for me to watch her deteriorate and a lot of time and energy to get her affairs in order. I am really glad I was able to be there for her. Don't know how it would have been done if I'd not retired when I did.
Good luck. I think you're wise to begin the process before it's absolutely necessary.