Do you have a limit on how long you will stay with friends?

[Scuba]

Do you think Benjamin Franklin was right about 3 days?

We have several friends that are inviting us to come and spend time with them in their homes, which are in desirable locations. They’re leaving it up to us how long we want to stay.

While it’s appealing to spend more “quality time” with good friends, we don’t want to overstay our welcome. And it inevitably affects what we would otherwise do if we were on our own.

 

[travelover]

Yea, three days is about the maximum for me. Better to get an AirBnB nearby.

 

[Kim451]

I have a friend inviting me to spend Thanksgiving through Christmas with her. She's a total extrovert so couldn't possibly understand the horror of this scenario for a total introvert like me. A month of constant roommate, then holidays spent with her entire family.... Eek! I haven't figured out a good reply to that one yet; she knows I'm alone....

 

[Lewis Clark]

If you have stayed with these friends in the past (or if they have stayed in your home) and know what the experience will be like, you are the best judge of how long to stay. If you choose to stay with these friends at all.

If you haven't stayed with them before, I think it would be wise to keep your first stay in their homes on the shorter side to help ensure you don't overstay your welcome.

Perhaps try to combine visits to some of them (or all of them) in the same trip, which might make it easier to justify spending only a few days in each place without possibly offending good friends.

 

[Ronstar]

We haven’t stayed with friends for more than a few days, and I wouldn’t want to stay any longer than that. Friends and relatives have stayed with us while snowbirding for up to a week and it’s been ok.

 

[braumeister]

Two nights has always been my limit, whether visiting or hosting.

 

[marko]

When we were kids, mom and dad had some best friends. We'd go to each other's houses, out to dinner, shows, beach etc. We all did everything together. They were 'uncle and auntie' and had a kid our age who we had fun with.

After about 10 years of mom and dad going out with these people they decided that we'd all rent one large cottage for a week in the mountains.

At the end of the week we said our goodbyes and got into our cars and headed home.

Never saw them again. Ever.
Perhaps a full week was too long even for close friends.

 

[Dtail]

As a host, around 3-4 days.

 

[grasshopper]

Heck I only stay at my Moms home for 2 days when I fly in to visit.

 

[Philliefan33]

Two or three nights is enough for us, whether hosting or visiting. The only exception is when we stay about a week with family on the left coast. We try to make that visit less of an imposition on the hosts by alternating which of the three households we stay with (one per trip, but a different host each year). We also plan outings and dinners away from the hosts, to give them a break from us.

Personally, I like it when houseguests can entertain themselves part of the time. I prefer to loan a vehicle and point them towards (insert tourist attraction) than having to play tour guide. I’ve already seen the Liberty Bell multiple times, yes I’ve run the “Rocky” steps, and I ride my bike through Washington’s Crossing a few times a year. No need to go every time we host a tourist.

 

[Jerry1]

I have a friend who invites me down to Florida for golf in the winter. I’m sure he’d be okay with a week, maybe more and I try very hard to be a good guest, however, I like to keep the trip to 3 to 5 days. That seems to work well. We get 3 to 4 rounds of golf in, have a few dinners with some mutual friends who are also in the area and I’m gone. They’re great hosts and I try to be a good guest. Done this about 3 or 4 times now and all is good. Hopefully I’ll get another invite this year. I never ask to come down but once offered, I’m all over it.

 

[athena53]

Mostly 3 days, but I stay with my brother and SIL 4-5 days sometimes when I travel to the East Coast to visit family twice a year. It really depends on the people, the size of the house, etc. I drive there so I'm not borrowing their car, I don't need anyone to wait on me or clean up after me, I'm not accompanied by a Significant Other or kids, and I go the the gym or take a long bike ride every day. I also stop at the grocery store and pick up whatever I think we/they need (and ask if I can get anything else).

This reminds me, though, of an article written by a woman in an issue of the London Times Travel Section. She and her husband had bought their dream vacation house in the south of France. Apparently they were bad at setting limits and were deluged with "friends" who ate all the food, drank all the wine, and came into the house dripping water from the swimming pool asking what was for dinner. They eventually sold the house.

So, it really does depend on the people!

 

[folivier]

3-4 days is usually our limit. However we have some very good friends that we visit once or twice a year and regularly stay 3-4 weeks. Met them about 10 years ago and have become like family. When we visit we do a combination of things together but do our own things also. They cook, we cook, sometimes do meals together, sometimes separately. They recently came here for a week for our son's wedding, worked out great.
But yeah for most others 3-4 days is about right.

 

[Car-Guy]

I never impose on friends or family. 5 or 6 hour visits are enough. If we want/need to stay in the area longer for some reason, there are plenty of hotels. On the other hand, if a friend or family wants to visit us, it seems to be that 2 or 3 days works ok.

 

[Choices]

Usually 3 days staying or hosting. We rent a place when flying out to visit one daughter and only stay 3 days. For the other daughter a week or 10 days at her place is okay.

 

[omni550]

It depends...3 or 4 days, typically.

I also have some friends and family who BEG me to come and stay 2 to 4 weeks...and I have. They say I'm their best guest, etc. (Perhaps they say that to everyone. LOL) FWIW, I don't make special requests and I do think about how I can contribute, help out, and be a good guest. It seems to work, as they always ask me to come back.

omni

 

[MarieIG]

If you haven't stayed with them before, a) three days; b) make sure you take them out to dinner at least once; c) buy some groceries; d) leave your room and bathroom clean.

 

[T-Minus]

3 days here. As a matter of fact, I’m about to embark on a trip to visit friends next week and will arrive Monday, scheduled to depart Thursday. And, to add to MarieIG’s post above, for these friends, make absolutely sure to bring a bottle or three of good, interesting wine!

 

[Aerides]

When I'm hosting family, 3 is about enough before I want my house back. If this were a fly-in trip I guess 3 is the minimum to make it worth the effort though. If I'd never stayed with them before, keep it as short as possible to get a feel.

 

[mexexpat]

None. With Airbnb, VRBO/Homeaway and other rental sources, we prefer our own place. When we travel either in US or foreign, we rent a house with at least 2 BRs and 2BAs....I don't share a BA at home with my partner so why should I when we vacation??

On visitors we are more concerned about how many, than how long. We are good with 1 or 2 singles or a couple but I won't entertain other people's kids, including our own nieces and nephews. Length of stay up to a week for a few close friends, 4 or 5 days max. for most.

 

[Teacher Terry]

We have hosted friends for a week and stayed a week. My mom would come visit for a month which was great. When we travel with the dogs we use Airbnb.

 

[W2R]

None. With Airbnb, VRBO/Homeaway and other rental sources, we prefer our own place.

I can relate to that.

For us, about an hour or two is enough for visits locally. If traveling (which we seldom do), we prefer to have our own room at a nearby hotel or motel. Haven't ever tried Airbnb and so on.

 

[TwoByFour]

Two nights unless they are really really close friends with a big house.

 

[ivinsfan]

Visiting someone's home definitely limits you to a few night IMO.

OTOH we've have very good luck at our winter VRBO rentals sharing large homes with friends for two weeks or more. We always try to find a house with 2 master suites and baths preferably on 2 different levels. And we each have a car and make it clear everyone should come and go as they please. We usually end up doing quite a few activities together and cook in most nights. We've done this with 2 different couples and it's gone very well.

 

[CoolRich59]

Two nights is the most I could manage, and even that was tough.

Our last overnight trip was to visit the DW’s brother who lives about 4 hours away. We got there Friday night and were on our way home Sunday morning after breakfast.

I won’t say that I had a lousy time, but the DW was not pleased about the burnt rubber I deposited in the driveway as we left.

Last year, the same brother rented a large cabin for a week this past summer and then sent out an “invitation” to each sibling family advising us that we were “required” to attend and how much our share for the week would be.

I was not amused, but the DW liked the idea and was excited to go. Our compromise was I paid, she went for the week, and I got to stay home.