Do you use your phone/tablet while watching TV/Movies?

[mountainsoft]

Typical situation... I ask my wife if she wants to watch a movie, she says "sure". I turn on the TV, get a movie playing, then she proceeds to browse Facebook on her phone or plays games on the tablet. Even when the gadget isn't beeping and chirping, it's distracting to catch the screen out of the corner of my eye and see her waving her fingers around. It drives me crazy!

I thought we were doing something together, but she's obviously occupied with other things. Worse yet if I laugh at something in the movie, she'll look up and say "what happened"? I think to myself "if you were watching you would know", but I pause the movie and answer politely before rewinding a bit.

Am I just an old school fuddy duddy, or is this just rude? I mean, if you go to a movie theater they tell you to silence your cell phone and refrain from texting. Why is it different at home?

My daughter is the same way, she's always got her cell phone with her. Worse yet, right in the middle of a movie she'll just start talking about her day or something she has planned. It never fails that she'll start talking during the news when the one story I've been waiting on is playing.

Is it really that difficult to unplug from the gadgets for just two hours? Sheesh! I remember when "watching a movie" really meant watching a movie... Is nothing sacred anymore?

 

[TromboneAl]

When there's an actor who looks familiar but I can't place him or her, I have to bring up IMDb.

 

[MissMolly]

Well, yes, it's probably rude, but I would probably do the same thing. I really don't like watching movies and seldom do. They are too long. I've probably only watched 3 movies this year. I do watch TV, but I record it and then watch it later. I watch TV, but only in bits and pieces. I will start a show and then after about 15 minutes pause it and play a few games on my tablet or go surf the web on the computer. Then I start it up again and watch 15 or 20 minutes and then pause and play... Right now I'm about 1/2 way through How To Get Away With Murder which was on last night. But here I am on the forum. Although I really like the shows I watch, I'm just not good at sitting still and watching them all the way through. My husband and I never watch TV together as neither of us cares for what the other watches. So, different strokes for different folks.

 

[TromboneAl]

I do it if the DVD or show is boring, but DW is enjoying it. I turn the tablet so that it doesn't distract her.

 

[Car-Guy]

I'm using my laptop right now typing the response this thread while the DW and I are watching TV... SOP around here.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

+1 on IMDB. I wonder how I ever watched TV without it. OTOH, bad habit, I know.

 

[rk911]

When there's an actor who looks familiar but I can't place him or her, I have to bring up IMDb.

i do the same thing. most often the tv is on but i'm only paying half attention. we just finished watching the latest Ken Burns film....Country Music. 8-parts, 16-hours. wonderful! it's on Prime and maybe on your local PBS on-demand.

 

[CaptTom]

Absolutely. TV shows (and to a lesser extent, movies) are so "dumbed down" that you can catch the whole story line if you pay attention about 5-10% of the time.

TV shows are the worst. Present a few minutes of show, break to commercial, come back and repeat all that has happened so far, then a minute or two of new material, then another commercial, etc.

And of course, you need to mute the commercials to avoid permanent hearing loss anyway, so what do you do for those 11 minutes out of every 30?

How can you NOT find something else to do?

 

[Red Badger]

DW and I are fairly restrictive with our devices when we are doing anything together. We're so out of date that we don't allow the TV to be on or use devices during meals together. But I always surf while watching TV by myself.

 

[folivier]

Hahaha! My DW and I usually have our laptops going when watching a movie or TV. Or I'll be playing solitaire on my phone while watching. I agree that most shows are pretty dumbed down and it takes little attention to keep up. There are very few shows that require our full attention. Of course there are some that the dialogue volume is so low that it is difficult to watch.
Lots of shows are the same old fights, shooting, blood, etc.

 

[JustCurious]

Mountainsoft, I agree with your view on this. I've had the same issue with DGF, she would use her phone to text or check Facebook or play a game while we were watching a movie at home. She would also place her phone directly in front of her on the ottoman so that she can see the phone in her direct line of sight while watching the tv so that she would see and hear any texts or calls or app notifications (she has several apps that alert for various things, e.g. CNN news alerts) and she would constantly check the phone when it buzzed or beeped or light up.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but it is distracting to me and I think it's rude, I am 50 and she is 10 years younger and she has said that she doesn't think it's a big deal. She resisted at first, but I have trained her to come around to my view, or at least accept that it bothers me, and she no longer uses her phone while we are watching a movie or tv show and she no longer puts it directly in front of her. She now puts it to the side and mutes it or puts in do not disturb mode, or sometimes in another room, so we can watch a show or movie in peace without constant interruption. I think she has learned to reduce her smartphone addiction somewhat because of me and she now appreciates having some distraction free time. She has also come to accept leaving her phone at home when we go to dinner, that was a big step for her too. I have no problem pausing the movie and taking an intermission to use the bathroom so she can check the phone for important messages or calls, but I do think it is rude to use it while watching a movie or to have it directly in front of you or next to you so that you can hear and see the buzzing and various beeping or ringing notifications. I also agree that it is rude because the person using the phone is distracted and not paying attention and then they expect you to tell them what is going on.

This may be somewhat of a generational thing, my teenage daughter thinks its completely normal to watch tv while using her phone, she thinks there's something wrong with me because I get bothered by that. I think generally speaking the younger generations are so accustomed to smartphones and ubiquitous portable electronic devices that they don't see their constant use as being rude.

On a similar note, I recently went to see a movie in the theater by myself and a group of three young women who appeared to be in their early 20's sat next to me and they were constantly using their smartphones from the time they sat down through the trailers before the movie started. I did not say anything at first because I thought maybe they would stop when the movie started, especially since right before the movie starts they show a video that clearly states "no texting, no talking, no browsing, etc"...but no, they continued texting and using their phones and it was very distracting to me, especially seeing the bright smartphone screens light up and constantly flashing and changing between apps, not to mention that they would chuckle and show each other things on their phones, whether it be a funny text or a meme or whatever. I just think it's rude and distracting. So I turned to them and politely asked if they would stop using their phones during the movie...they looked at me as if there was something wrong with me and I was being completely unreasonable, they acted as if it was no big deal and they continued using the phones. So I asked again, this time less politely, and told them if they did not stop I would go to the manager, so they very reluctantly stopped and gave me evil stares... then I could see them trying to be surreptitious and use their phones in their laps covered by their handbags. I think it's sad that they seemed unable to stop using their phones for 2 hours to watch a movie even after being told and even knowing that it was distracting to others.

I think some people are addicted to smartphones...if someone smoked constantly and was unable to stop smoking for 2 hours to watch a movie even after being told that they were not allowed to smoke during the movie, I think everyone would agree they were addicted to smoking.

 

[GenXguy]

It's just annoying in general that people are always looking at their cell phones. It's even more annoying if I'm spending time with these people, doing whatever. Out of 15 people in my dept. at work, I'm the only one that doesn't take his cell phone to work. I'm not addicted to it, and work is only 2 miles from home.

 

[mpeirce]

I'm not sure it's important to unplug one device (phone) to watch another device (TV). They're just different devices. People are used to multitasking these days and this carries over to the TV too.

Also there is a difference between really doing something "together" and watching TV together.

And if watching TV counts as doing something together, at least make it something you are both actually interested in.

 

[6miths]

I'm using my laptop right now typing the response this thread while the DW and I are watching TV... SOP around here.

Same at my place. Both DW and I would likely be on phone/computer while watching TV.

 

[SumDay]

I'm with you Mountainsoft. I'd hate to ask DH to choose between me and his tablet.

Sometimes I'll turn on basketball, and he'll say "you know I hate basketball" and I always ask how he even knows it's on. That of course causes a kerfuffle and I end up finding another TV in the house because I'm pretty much watching by myself anyway.

He could have worse habits, but it still annoys the $hit out of me.

 

[joeea]

Typical situation... I ask my wife if she wants to watch a movie, she says "sure". I turn on the TV, get a movie playing, then she proceeds to browse Facebook on her phone or plays games on the tablet. Even when the gadget isn't beeping and chirping, it's distracting to catch the screen out of the corner of my eye and see her waving her fingers around. It drives me crazy!

I thought we were doing something together, but she's obviously occupied with other things. Worse yet if I laugh at something in the movie, she'll look up and say "what happened"? I think to myself "if you were watching you would know", but I pause the movie and answer politely before rewinding a bit.

Am I just an old school fuddy duddy, or is this just rude? I mean, if you go to a movie theater they tell you to silence your cell phone and refrain from texting. Why is it different at home?

My daughter is the same way, she's always got her cell phone with her. Worse yet, right in the middle of a movie she'll just start talking about her day or something she has planned. It never fails that she'll start talking during the news when the one story I've been waiting on is playing.

Is it really that difficult to unplug from the gadgets for just two hours? Sheesh! I remember when "watching a movie" really meant watching a movie... Is nothing sacred anymore?

I do the same if it's something I don't actually want to watch, but my wife does.

Have you asked her to unplug and not use her devices while watching with you? I know as hard as I've tried for over 40 years, I still can't quite seem to read my wife's mind.

Maybe you need to decide if you would prefer to watch the movie alone. If not, have her sit at an angle that won't distract you.

 

[joeea]

It's just annoying in general that people are always looking at their cell phones. It's even more annoying if I'm spending time with these people, doing whatever. Out of 15 people in my dept. at work, I'm the only one that doesn't take his cell phone to work. I'm not addicted to it, and work is only 2 miles from home.

Why would the distance from home matter? Are you saying that if you lived further from home you would bring your cell phone to work?

 

[mountainsoft]

When there's an actor who looks familiar but I can't place him or her, I have to bring up IMDb.

I might do that after a movie, but wouldn't interrupt a movie to do it.

 

[mountainsoft]

TV shows are the worst. Present a few minutes of show, break to commercial, come back and repeat all that has happened so far, then a minute or two of new material, then another commercial, etc.
And of course, you need to mute the commercials to avoid permanent hearing loss anyway, so what do you do for those 11 minutes out of every 30?
How can you NOT find something else to do?

That's not an issue for us, we never watch commercials. I record TV shows on my computer, then use a program called Comskip to remove the commercials from the recordings. So half hour shows end up being about 20 minutes, and hour shows end up being about 45 minutes.

 

[travelover]

During movies doesn't bother me, but during sex is a little annoying.

 

[mountainsoft]

She would also place her phone directly in front of her on the ottoman so that she can see the phone in her direct line of sight while watching the tv so that she would see and hear any texts or calls or app notifications.

I can't understand why people always have to be in constant contact. Is there any benefit to seeing a cat video my third cousin posted while I'm watching a movie. Unless I'm going to town, my phone stays on the charger on my office desk. I only take my phone in case there's an emergency.

My wife says she keeps hers close in case her elderly mother has an emergency. Like her mom is going to take the time to type out a text if she is in trouble? She'll either call on the phone, or she won't be able to make any contact at all.

This may be somewhat of a generational thing, my teenage daughter thinks its completely normal to watch tv while using her phone, she thinks there's something wrong with me because I get bothered by that.

Yeah, I think back to the days when the whole family would sit around the RADIO and listen in. Of course, mom was probably sewing and the kids were probably playing on the floor. So I guess things never really change...

I'm a one task at a time kind of person. If I choose to do something (watch TV, work on a project, etc.) I focus all my attention and energy on that task till it's finished.

I recently went to see a movie in the theater... I think it's sad that they seemed unable to stop using their phones for 2 hours to watch a movie even after being told and even knowing that it was distracting to others.

Not to mention you just spent $10+ per person to see the movie and you're not even watching it.

 

[Cobra9777]

With the exception of a few YouTube channels, there is absolutely nothing on TV that DW and I watch together. Our interests are completely different. She likes fictional programs, mainly network dramas, Netflix/Amazon originals, and cheesy movies like on the Hallmark channel. I like thoughtful documentaries on science, history, technology, etc, as well as YouTube channels related to my hobbies and interests (music, woodworking, cooking, DIY).

So if one of us happens to be in the same room (rare) while the other is watching their programs, there is no issue using a smartphone, reading a magazine, or any other activity. We're happy to have the company. Watching TV is just not something we do together. Now... if we go out to dinner or a concert, we generally limit smartphone use to essential things. But we still don't consider it rude or taboo to check new notifications as they come in. It might be the security system telling me the smoke alarm is going off.

I watch one or two live sporting events every week. But I can't stand the constant truck and beer commercials. So as soon as the commercials start, I mute the TV and pick up my phone to see what's going on in the world... notifications, text, email, Google Now, ER.org, social media, news/weather, video game... whatever. I see it as a much more productive use of my time than watching truck and beer commercials.

 

[RetireAge50]

I think of you go to a movie or are having sex or eating dinner it is annoying. But just hanging out at home I don’t see a problem.

Maybe she is bored by the mindless TV and is putting up with it by doing other things while you enjoy the movie.

 

[kcowan]

I think it is FOMO combined with the low signal to noise ratio of the other media.

DW and I watched the season premier of This is us, and it required full attention. Not many shows are like that!

 

[calmloki]

I don't multi-task - well or otherwise. When I am driving I'm driving. I don't talk on the phone, I don't text, I don't eat or drink much and the radio can be a distraction from what I'm doing. Which is driving.
Watching movies is much the same - I look for the reason the actors are doing or saying things; often there are foreshadowings or the characters deal with similar situations in their different ways. I look for what people worked to put in front of me. My gal multi-tasks like mad and lives to interact with people. When watching tv she is on her phone playing games with others, looking up details on characters and sharing tidbits with me. The focused immersion I enjoy? Yeah, not happening, and hurts her feelings if I say I'm trying to watch the show. The person talking in the theater? Could well be my gal, caught up in the moment and sharing her excitement with me. And I feel like a jerk if I hurt her feelings by shushing her because I care more about some movie than I do her...