Exit Interview Question

[FinanceDude]

One last note of importance on the item above. Wen my DW and I lost our daughter two years ago my Boss came to visitation and made a point to wait until several people where gathered around my wife to make the statement that it was natures way of dealing with the situation and was not really a loss

The above quote is further proof that some folks have no business managing others, as they can't manage themselves. It is sad that "little man's syndrome" had to strike at a visitation..........

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

If accusations are made during an exit interview which become known byothers, and if those accusations are considered to be slanderous or libelous (if written out), and if they can't be proven (he said-she said), could that result in legal exposure for the complainant? Are such statements protected legally?

That would not be a very nice start to retirement. Even if the action was frivolous and had no credible basis, a suit could still be brought, I imagine.

I'd let it go. Enter retirement with a smile, not scorn. If these issues continue digging at you emotionally, seek counselling. That said, you surely have my sympathy for all these circumstances. I am very happy for you that you are starting a new chapter in your life. I bet it works out great.

 

[RetireeRobert]

Use the exit interview as catharsis and psychotherapy? If it's that deep and troubling, then real counselling with someone other than an HR functionary (quite possibly someone 20 years his junior) might be a better choice.

You seem think it wiser for him to ignore this particular "wrong" and leave it unchallenged, and he has no responsibility to do so, and he will be happy with himself later for ignoring it? He should not act in accord with his own belief system?

I am not suggesting he will go off the deep end if he choses to ignore the situation. But he did ask for advice, and given that, I think it important enough *to him* to do his part to speak up about the "wrongs" in the appropriate setting provided.

In short, I am just advising him to act in accord with (what I ken to be) his own value system. You can dramaqueen that advice with your terms like pyschotherapy and cathartic, but it is simply telling him to go with his own gut.

 

[Texas Proud]

Let me give one that I had...

I had hired a temp while in the UK.... this is not like the US as they can hold a 'real' position and work for a year or more..

I went on vacation and came back two weeks later. I was told by one of my employees that he was harassing her. Not anything major, but just 'creepy'. I told her thanks, I did not know and would review the situation. I asked a few others around the office and got only spotty information, nothing to act upon.

Well, the next day he did something 'wrong'. My employee told me about it. I had the guy out of the office in 15 minutes. (I did pay him for the full day and the next).

Sometimes the boss actually does not know unless someone tells him. I would never have known without my employee speaking up. Maybe over a few more weeks or months I would have seen something, but since I did not deal with him every day maybe not.

So, tell the HR person and leave it at that. They might not know.

 

[Martha]

If accusations are made during an exit interview which become known byothers, and if those accusations are considered to be slanderous or libelous (if written out), and if they can't be proven (he said-she said), could that result in legal exposure for the complainant? Are such statements protected legally?

That would not be a very nice start to retirement. Even if the action was frivolous and had no credible basis, a suit could still be brought, I imagine.

Some states have protection, but most probably don't. The risk of a suit is probably quite small. Where is the deep pocket? What is the damages?

Dramaqueen? RetireeRobert has got to be kidding.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Some states have protection, but most probably don't. The risk of a suit is probably quite small. Where is the deep pocket? What is the damages?

Dramaqueen? RetireeRobert has got to be kidding.

True, it does seem unlikely.

But say the wacko boss fails to get a promotion or is terminated, then blames it on "untrue" claims made by a "disgruntled" recent employee, with "unfounded claims of unwelcomed physicial contact, "loss of reputation," etc. As you say, the only deep pocket might be the OP's, along with his umbrella policy (if they even cover such things). Maybe the employer for failing to properly investigate or hold the information confidential?

I guess I've just heard too many stories of frivolous law suits (which are quite infrequent in my profession these days). Remember, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you .

 

[Martha]

I wouldn't lose sleep over it Rich. (The deep pocket would be the employer.)

One thing that may dissuade people from bringing frivolous libel suits is that there own acts, statements and character are at issue.

 

[deserat]

I understand both sides, however, if the behavior by your boss was repeated recently, then I would report it. Noone has a right to touch you without your permission. Additionally, noone has the right to impugn your religious beliefs. You weren't proselytizing - he was. I'm with Martha - report it. Based on your first sentence, if I were in the leadership of this organization, I'd like to know why I've gone form 0 turnover to 6 in one year. Metrics, metrics - someone shouls be looking at this.

 

[RunningBum]

Fisherman...

I would just do the exit interview with a smile on my face, and not say anything about the beast. Just let it go. You are at a new beginning in life! The purpose of HR is not for you...but to help and support management. If anything was going to be done, it would have been a long time ago.

And as the next three people get harrassed enough to leave, they'll have the same thought and nothing will ever get done with this attitude. Management/HR will look for a pattern. If almost no one complains, it will not be viewed as a problem. If most people make a statement, it will. The OP has a chance to be part of doing the right thing.

Stick to facts, and events directly related to work. The insensitive remake after your daughter's passing was awful but does not apply. The others clearly do.

Your statement alone won't fire anyone, but collectively maybe others will be protected from this guy.

I see no way of a lawsuit coming against the OP. Others probably have other private issues like the prayer discussion as well as the public issues with the grabbing. The boss won't file a suit he can't possibly win, and bringing the mud out in public will ruin his career. The only way this happens is if the OP is not telling the story accurately in any way.

Good luck and congrats!

 

[aaronc879]

I strongly believe in confronting the accused first before going to HR or his boss. Maybe he doesn't know he's out of line. If you've already told him you felt it was offensive and he continued anyway then I would not hesitate to file a formal complaint. Take it as far as you need to. That kind of physical harrassment can't be tolerated. If you let him get away with it then he'll do it to someone else.

 

[donheff]

But, better yet, as SteveR put it: "If you really want some action...compose a very well written letter with your story and send it to the CEO, COO, President of HR, Division Pres., and your local HR person. That works wonders. "... Put it in writing. Make it sound like you have a concern for supervisor's future welfare, employee morale and the company's turnover/financial welfare. I wouldn't get into it in an exit interview though. Simply pass the sealed envelope across the desk as you stand up the leave. "You'll find everything you need to know in this." Show a cc: to corporate HR and mail that one. If there is any hope for action, this should do it.

This sounds like a sensible way to handle it. A well written letter can detail all of the issues properly. Sending it to several managers helps insure someone will follow up. Giving it to the exit interviewee takes him or her off the hook. They don't need to evaluate the veracity of your complaint and decide whether to notify higher-ups -- it is already higher up.

 

[citrine]

Fisherman:

I have had a horrendous boss before and I did everything I could to get another job....skipped my way out of that department and did let her know that she had NOTHING going for her as a human being. If I could have got away with punching her out....I would have.
As for you.....I think you should let HR know in your exit interview and that you should also talk to the Manager and let him know that what he is doing is not appreciated....I mean...it's not like they can fire you!
I am also sorry about the loss of your child and the way you handled it amazes me....I know I would not have been kind at all.

 

[youbet]

fisherman.......

I appreciate your concerns and grievances regarding your manager. Unfortunately, you are focusing on your exit interview to air your concerns and this is very much the wrong place and time.

(1) When your manager made the thoughtless and insensitive remarks at your daughters funeral, those remarks are best left alone as they are what they are, thoughtless and insensitive.

(2) When your manager touched you the first time, you should have told him calmly but firmly in public to not touch you and made a timely written account of the incident and filed it. If he did it a second time, you should have gone to HR and reported it immediately, bringing your record of the initial incident with you. By letting it go until your exit interview, you have greatly diminished your opportunity to achieve permanent corrective action. Exit interviews are frequently dumping grounds for airing personaility conflicts and even though this isn't the case in your situation, will probably result in no action unless there are following additional reports.

(3) Your manager's inappropriate atheist vs religious discussions are somewhere between (1) and (2) above. It sounded more like he was trying to make you an unwilling debater on an uncomfortable to discuss subject than actually harrass you. Still, for a manager to even mention religion on the job indicates the manager is dumb as a stump.

Sadly, you've kind of let the horse out of the barn at this point. So, at the exit interview, I'd mention calmly both the touching and religious discussion incidents and hand them a record of the dates, times and witnesses. Just say you thought they should know this so they can help Mr X improve his professionalism and that you expect no follow-up and consider it settled. They'll be watching him.

Good luck! Enjoy ER! All the best to ya!

 

[bbbamI]

Fisherman, I don't think you have anything to worry about. This situation has me so riled, that I'd be more than happy to kick his a$$et.

 

[fisherman]

Thank you for all the great advice

Wow. I really appreciate the time and suggestions everyone gave. Tomorrow is the big day and I have narrowed the choices since an HR flunky will be doing the exit interview and any comments would be quickly forgotten.

I have had time to think and prepare more for ER and with that the issue carries less interest for me each day. I do admit to a few thoughts of physical payback since I could bench press him on a bad day! However I do believe I have enough self respect to let it go. I do know a senior HR manager very well outside of work and I may use the letter idea with him to address the situation. I will make the choice tomorrow.

Once again thanks to all of you for your input and I can say this will be behind me after tomorrow!

I have said it before and will say it again, The folks on this board and ESRBobs book gave me the final push to make this dream come true and I am thankful to each of you for that.