Leonidas
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
My first poll.
DW - The Princess - finds herself in the middle of a holiday feud with her family. Long story, but it came down to the fact that getting together as a group had become less a joy and more a chore for many people because there was a small minority whose behavior was less than socially acceptable. Nobody has the courage to tell the oldest sister the truth ("Your boyfriend is a jerk who drinks too much and makes incredibly offensive comments."), or address a couple of similar, but less troublesome behavior issues that were a pain to live with. So, the majority found excuses/schedule conflicts that mean they all will not be together in one group at the same place/time. The minority is ticked off and communications are strained or broken.
The Princess is upset that relationships are strained, and she turned to her girlfriends to talk about it. Turns out that almost all of them are either feuding with some member of their family, avoiding some gatherings, or are dreading the holiday togetherness because of similar crap. One GF told her, "I wish we could get together with the people we love - our friends - rather than be stuck with family that drives us crazy."
It got me to thinking about this phenomena and wondering how prevalent it is.
Most of my surviving family are either very distant relatives, live too far away, not talking to me again this year, or acknowledging that we do best with short, non-holiday visits, which means holiday togetherness with family I don't always get along with is not something I have a lot of experience with. But I remember working Christmases years ago as a patrol cop, and recall that while it was generally a very slow night, family disturbance calls were to be avoided like the plague. It was known as the holiday when people who can't stand each other the rest of the year get together in one place and then start drinking during the most emotional times of the year. Oh, and there's always at least one really big carving knife just laying around in the open. Any disturbance call at a residence after 6 PM on Christmas always meant a fight - a bitter and ugly fight with everyone taking sides and ancient and fresh grievances alike being aired in nasty ways. That kind of thing was rare, but it certainly happened enough that every veteran of at least one Christmas had a nightmare of a story to tell.
So, what's it like with you and your extended family during the holidays? Is it all Currier & Ives scenery, would Norman Rockwell have wanted to paint you and all the cousins, brother-& sisters-in-law opening presents and singing carols? Or, do you silently nurse your cocktail after dinner wondering why your sibling married that person? Do you prefer Christmas with just you and the immediate family, or does everybody get together in a big group. Have the cops ever showed up to keep Aunt Lou from carving Uncle Fred because of some long past slight?
Oh, and Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and a Joyous Kwanza to everyone.
DW - The Princess - finds herself in the middle of a holiday feud with her family. Long story, but it came down to the fact that getting together as a group had become less a joy and more a chore for many people because there was a small minority whose behavior was less than socially acceptable. Nobody has the courage to tell the oldest sister the truth ("Your boyfriend is a jerk who drinks too much and makes incredibly offensive comments."), or address a couple of similar, but less troublesome behavior issues that were a pain to live with. So, the majority found excuses/schedule conflicts that mean they all will not be together in one group at the same place/time. The minority is ticked off and communications are strained or broken.
The Princess is upset that relationships are strained, and she turned to her girlfriends to talk about it. Turns out that almost all of them are either feuding with some member of their family, avoiding some gatherings, or are dreading the holiday togetherness because of similar crap. One GF told her, "I wish we could get together with the people we love - our friends - rather than be stuck with family that drives us crazy."
It got me to thinking about this phenomena and wondering how prevalent it is.
Most of my surviving family are either very distant relatives, live too far away, not talking to me again this year, or acknowledging that we do best with short, non-holiday visits, which means holiday togetherness with family I don't always get along with is not something I have a lot of experience with. But I remember working Christmases years ago as a patrol cop, and recall that while it was generally a very slow night, family disturbance calls were to be avoided like the plague. It was known as the holiday when people who can't stand each other the rest of the year get together in one place and then start drinking during the most emotional times of the year. Oh, and there's always at least one really big carving knife just laying around in the open. Any disturbance call at a residence after 6 PM on Christmas always meant a fight - a bitter and ugly fight with everyone taking sides and ancient and fresh grievances alike being aired in nasty ways. That kind of thing was rare, but it certainly happened enough that every veteran of at least one Christmas had a nightmare of a story to tell.
So, what's it like with you and your extended family during the holidays? Is it all Currier & Ives scenery, would Norman Rockwell have wanted to paint you and all the cousins, brother-& sisters-in-law opening presents and singing carols? Or, do you silently nurse your cocktail after dinner wondering why your sibling married that person? Do you prefer Christmas with just you and the immediate family, or does everybody get together in a big group. Have the cops ever showed up to keep Aunt Lou from carving Uncle Fred because of some long past slight?
Oh, and Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and a Joyous Kwanza to everyone.