Favorite Phrases Your Dad/Mom Used on You.........

[Deetso]

My father was an immigrant. English was his second language. He would sometimes say things that were almost right. The best was.

"Get out from underneath my goat."

(I think its a combination of "get my goat" and "under my skin")

 

[GatorBuzz]

Mom: You ain't got sense enough to come out of the rain.

Mom: Y'all are dim as a two-watt light bulb.

Dad: (After one of the kids complained/cried about the other hitting, touching or otherwise bothering another kid) "You two sit there for five minutes and hold hands." Not fun.

 

[Sarah in SC]

My Nana: "you tell that hen if she doesn't get to laying, I'm going to cook her up in a pot with some rice"

 

[HFWR]

One of Mom's favorites: You need your head examined!

Still true...

 

[Arif]

Now that I'm a dad I've adopted the following:

When I tell my son "no" he replies "that's not fair"
I tell him "life's not fair, that's a place where they have rides and cotton candy!"

 

[Nords]

This thread has brought back all kinds of fond memories. NOT.

My spouse observed the other day that I say "G**-d****t" in exactly the same intonation & emphasis as my father, especially when I've just hit my head on something. So I guess I really was paying attention all those years.

Near Christmastime my mother used to regularly threaten to phone in a SITREP to Santa at the North Pole. The one time she actually had to pick up the phone and make the call, I thought my brother and I were going to die of fright & juvenile remorse. Years later we were told that the effect lasted until February.

Other favorites:
Mom: "Stop that or I'll give you something to REALLY cry about!"
Dad: "Stop hopping around like that or I'll nail the other foot to the floor!"
I think he was bluffing but we weren't going to be the first to find out.

Another Dad favorite: "But you just went 20 minutes ago!!?"

On long trips we'd eternally be pestering him to make the car's A/C hotter or colder. He'd wave his fingers over the thermostat and the fan controls (changing nothing) and say "Wait a minute to let it catch up". A bit later he'd say "How is it now?" We almost always answered "Fine, thanks!" and I was in my 30s before he told us that story.

Our kid is 14 years old and has never been on a car trip of greater than 60 miles. She thinks the following are hilarious:
"Are we there yet?"
"She's looking at me!"
"He's touching my side of the car!"
"She's making faces at me!"
"Dad, I hear a siren! What's that flashing red light for on the car behind us?"
"I have to go!"
"Are we there yet?"
"I'm hungry again!"
"Oh, I have to go to the bathroom again..."
"Are we there yet?"

 

[HFWR]

Mom: "Stop that or I'll give you something to REALLY cry about!"

I heard that...

 

[cube_rat]

"why buy the cow when you could milk it for free"
" tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" huh??

"close the damn door, were you born in a barn or do you have a long tail?"

 

[Bimmerbill]

+1 for "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about"!

 

[BUM]

If you ever mentioned that something was old, Pop would say, "Shoot, my pocketknife is older than that".

 

[Celany]

my mom (after I'd skinned a knee, gotten a scrape or other minor injury): it'll be better before your married.

since I'm *still* not planning on getting married, she continues to use that one. It always makes me smile.

also my mom (after I'd done something not-so-good): I can't believe that I ever thought that if I just got you potty-trained, everything would be easy from there out.

 

[Payin-the-Toll]

My mother and step-father were named Joyce and Dave. They really didn't get along very well, and the two comments I heard most often were: "Jesus Christ, Joyce", and "Dammit, Dave". One Christmas I had T-shirts printed up with these sayings (cost me extra to get the T-shirt lady to print 'Dammit')--They were a big hit when presents were opened.

 

[mickeyd]

I seemed to always lose things when I was a kid. My mother always said "Say a prayer to Saint Anthony". It seems that St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost causes or lost items etc. I prayed to St. A a bunch. I even found some of the lost stuff. It made me a believer in religion and the wisdom of Mom.

 

[Meadbh]

Mom:
Don't follow the mob
Look after #1
When much is given, much is expected

I am a contrarian selfish high achiever........

 

[deserat]

The following:

From Dad:
Whoever said life was fair?
The road to hell was paved with good intentions. (I use this one a lot at work)

From Grandma:

I'll learn until they throw dirt in my face.
Tell me you're with and I'll tell you who you are.
Pride goeth before the fall.

I like the intentions one - just because you mean well doesn't absolve you from the results of your actions. I finally figured out the 'dirt' one a few years ago (yes, I was a bit slow on the uptake for that one) - she meant until she was buried.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I dont remember a lot of phrases. Just a lot of eye rolling and burying of faces in sleeves.

My dad says his dad had one up on the "I'll give you something to cry about". Anyone whining excessively got an automatic cuff on the head and was told "There...now you have something to cry about".

I understand that whining was rather sharply curtailed after that.

 

[VaCollector]

All credited to Mom

~ "just remember that God loves you and I do too!"

~ (to Dad whenever things might not be going as planned) "Bobby, are we havin' fun yet?"

~ "...because I said so...."


There has never been a better, kinder human being than my Mother. I was blessed to be her son and to grow up in her beautiful world.

Those who knew her understand how precious she was and those who never met her are poorer for not having the privilege.

 

[Khan]

Mom (when things were getting out of control):

Where is the anchor, and why are we drifting?

We ain't had this much fun since Ma got her tit caught in the wringer.
(I think she read it a story somewhere.)

Fool proof yes; idiot proof no.
(From Rocky and Bullwinkle)

 

[HFWR]

This place looks like a cyclone hit it...

 

[boutros]

"if you throw balls in the house you will get them cut off"

 

[Martha]

You've got to eat a peck of dirt before you die.

It's daylight in the swamp.

 

[calmloki]

"mouth full of thank-you and hand full of nothing at all", which
is somewhat akin to "sorry don't pay no bills"

 

[BUM]

JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Bill Cosby: It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. "Dammit, will you stop all that noise?" And, "Jesus Christ, sit down!" One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, "Dammit will you get back in here!" I said, "Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

 

[johnlw]

They weren't used on me, but I thought these were pretty good:

My Mom: "Sh*t"
My Dad: "What flavor Mable?"

My Dad: "If her girdle broke loose, it will kill everyone in the place"