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I've been using $90k/yr and want to be able to cover 8 yrs. The 8 yrs can be one of us for 8 yrs, each for 4 yrs, one for 7 and the other for 1, etc.
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From what I studied it seems to me that you are planning for longer than average LTC (leaning toward worse case). That is... that both of you have longer than average NH stays.
Planning for LTC is similar to other risk based planning... very complicated
and you will accept some level of risk. My wife's grandmother lingered for 10 years in a NH after a stroke left her completely unable to do anything. You or your spouse could be the statistical outlier but there is a low probability that it will occur.
In terms of self-insure... your risk (in general terms) is forgoing asset spending on one side of the coin and winding up on Medicaid on the other side of the coin. The other risk you are trying to mitigate is ensuring that the surviving spouse is not left financially ruined.
While one of you may need some sort of care in the home... the average NH stay seems to be less than 3 years. Of course it is an average.... you or your spouse could last longer.
I would recommend you check out the rules for Medicaid in your state and follow those rules to do your planning. Usually one spouse is in the NH and the other is not. In some states, spouses can split the assets. In other states, the state has tougher rules. Some states are very tough on income that can be kept by the spouse (the one not in the NH).
Do not Assume anything! You really need to include this in your planning... and the rules change from time to time.
If you have a house that is worth something and the surviving spouse has other liquid assets to spend (to live on)... the house could be the potential LTC funding mechanism for the surviving spouse.
IMO - this planning is as much about protecting assets for the surviving spouse (maybe more for them) as it is for the person receiving care. Assuming you get into a half way decent NH... you will get the care whether you pay or Medicaid pays. Plus I am fairly sure Medicaid (in some states) will pay for in home care.
You might assume that because you have money to pay that you will wind up in a better NH. It might turn out that way and it might not. You can be neglected just as easily either way.
My recommendation (if you or your spouse need care and it is workable): If you have assets, then stay at home and hire Home Health and nurses to deplete your resources. The care will be better since one spouse can oversee the care and help. The challenge with this is finding competent care. It takes more management than you would think.
You can find the stats to help with planning and there are planning guides for self insure LTC.
http://www.therubins.com/homes/stathome.htm
While only twelve percent of nursing home residents are between 65-74, 45% are over 85 years of age. It is estimated that anyone over 65 years of age will have a 43% chance of spending some time in a nursing home. About 24% of these individuals will spend less than a year in residence at a nursing home.
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Age Group Percentage of Nursing Home Population Age (1999)
65-74yrs. --12%
75-84-yrs. -32%
85+ yrs. 46%
Average Length of Stay (Point-in-Time Measure)
2.4 years varying with gender, age, ethnicity and type of facility; also influenced by the increasing use of short-term stays following hospitalization
2.51years for females
2.29 years for males
1.86 years for Hispanics
2.62 years for persons over age 85