Bryan Barnfellow
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Reading all these responses I wonder if the Mercedes owners forum has a similar thread on feeling guilty!
Someone used to say that about me too....oh wait, no, they said I looked like a goddamned Greek.......never mind.
The work ethic is not only a big part of our social programming (work = identity, money = worth, etc.); it's also a big part of the religious heritage, at least in the US. Work is what God requires of you; work is how you demonstrate your goodness and worth; sloth is mortal sin, etc. -- all of that stuff is in the water.
Van Halen re: David Lee Roth excepted.
Interesting...I have always found studies on generations interesting, being at very end of the boomer generation, but I think I identify more with GenX.Yes- that is exactly it for some people.
I had several disagreements with DH about this, and when in a work seminar about the difference between generations, it hit me like a ton of bricks. OP and I are Gen X, and DH and many of the people he's hearing this from are Baby Boomers. Baby boomers pride themselves on their work ethic- DH actually believes that work is a sort of virtue. I believe that if you can get your work done by 3pm, you should go home. He believes you find more work. This may or not be true, but it makes sense to me.
To me, w**k is what you do when you don't have enough money. When you do have enough, I see no sense in continuing to work unless you think its more fun than retiring, which I don't.
The generations thing was helpful in that I now see where he is coming from, but I'm still retiring in 9 months.
So, I am not FIRE yet, but hoping to get there.
My thoughts are, never, ever feel guilty about being where you are. You have gone without, living below your means, saving something from every paycheck you have ever earned, maybe stayed in a job that was not ideal for years just to qualify for a pension, lived in a smaller house than you would have wanted, kept the same car 10 years, saved to pay cash for your kids to go to a state univ instead of an expensive out of state college, etc., etc., etc., to get in the position you are in. You have payed attention to your finances, which most people do not do. This did not happen by accident, you made it happen. I can pretty much guarantee that person you feel guilty in front of, never felt one ounce of guilt as they spent more than they earned, on vacations, the big house, jewelry, expensive clothes, new car, HELOC loans, loaded up their credit card, whatever else. If some stranger ask what do you do? Just smile, say I'm retired and loving it. If they give you crap, move on, they are not worth it.
Initially I felt guilty because I was younger than I thought I would be when I retired. I know it's silly, but I would tell people that I was "on leave" or even that I "was not working at the moment". As time went by, I began to realize that what beth said was true. Even though circumstance were such that I ER'd when I did, it was truly a major blessing that it occurred when it did.So, I am not FIRE yet, but hoping to get there.
My thoughts are, never, ever feel guilty about being where you are. You have gone without, living below your means, saving something from every paycheck you have ever earned, maybe stayed in a job that was not ideal for years just to qualify for a pension, lived in a smaller house than you would have wanted, kept the same car 10 years, saved to pay cash for your kids to go to a state univ instead of an expensive out of state college, etc., etc., etc., to get in the position you are in. You have payed attention to your finances, which most people do not do. This did not happen by accident, you made it happen. I can pretty much guarantee that person you feel guilty in front of, never felt one ounce of guilt as they spent more than they earned, on vacations, the big house, jewelry, expensive clothes, new car, HELOC loans, loaded up their credit card, whatever else. If some stranger ask what do you do? Just smile, say I'm retired and loving it. If they give you crap, move on, they are not worth it.
Interesting...I have always found studies on generations interesting, being at very end of the boomer generation, but I think I identify more with GenX.
The work ethic is not only a big part of our social programming (work = identity, money = worth, etc.); it's also a big part of the religious heritage, at least in the US. Work is what God requires of you; work is how you demonstrate your goodness and worth; sloth is mortal sin, etc. -- all of that stuff is in the water.
I don't know if it was silly. It's not like you owed anyone an explanation.I know it's silly, but I would tell people that I was "on leave" or even that I "was not working at the moment".
Interesting...I have always found studies on generations interesting, being at very end of the boomer generation, but I think I identify more with GenX.
But let's remember back to the late '60s. None of the boomers at that time were EVER going to 'work for the man'. We were going to live off the land and the generosity of strangers, raise our own food, live in communes, share everything, etc. We were going to show our parents how chasing a buck wasn't the right way to go...
Whahaaappened?
But let's remember back to the late '60s. None of the boomers at that time were EVER going to 'work for the man'. We were going to live off the land and the generosity of strangers, raise our own food, live in communes, share everything, etc. We were going to show our parents how chasing a buck wasn't the right way to go...
Whahaaappened?
I was born in 1963, which makes me technically a Baby Boomer. I have never considered myself one, instead a Gen-Xer.
I think emotions can cross lines. What may feel like guilt can just be the reaction of a modest person who is "forced" to brag about retiring early. Some of us are less modest than others, so the level of "guilt" felt when put into this situation (stating "what you do") will vary, but I would bet that the most modest among us do not easily volunteer that they retired early because it feels like bragging to them. If you believe that modesty is a good thing (as I do), then this form of guilt/modesty is not, necessarily, a bad thing.