Quick recap - Mom died suddenly in 2011 and 2 weeks later Dad (85) broke his hip. He moved to assisted living in 2012 and in Jan 2016 we moved him to a hospice facility. He turned 90 at the end of March, 2016 and died on Monday 4/18.
Poor guy, it was a long slow decline. It's over for him now and he's finally with Mom again.
It's just my sister and I now. We had a brother who died 10 years ago.
We had a lovely graveside service on Wednesday. He was a Navy veteran of WWII (1944-1946) in the North Atlantic and then the South Pacific. We asked for military honors at the funeral and we were very impressed by how it was handled. Two Navy personnel were there before we arrived, one played taps and the other saluted at the head of the casket. Then they took the flag from the coffin, did the ceremonial folding and gave the flag to my sister and I and thanked us for his service.
All in all, it was a nice way to wrap up his life and say goodbye. One of our sons was away on a business trip. He had seen Dad before he left and we told him that he was not expected to come home if it happened while he was gone. He left Monday morning and Dad passed that night. We asked the rabbi at the funeral if it was ok for our other son to take pictures for his brother and he thought it was a great idea.
Dad was Jewish and he had asked for a kosher casket. It's a plain pine box with wooden pegs instead of nails and there are openings at the bottom to allow for deterioration instead of preservation. Dad wasn't religious but he was frugal and a very practical guy.
One of the Jewish customs that I like is that the mourners wear a black ribbon, the rabbi tears it and then we tear it. It's instead of tearing your own clothing in grief.
Another custom is that anyone at the grave site who wants to can shovel dirt in the grave after the vault cover is laid. It may sound gruesome but it's very cathartic. The rabbi goes first them my sister and I and any family and then anyone else attending.
It all was very nice and we had shiva (calling hours) at my sister's house afterward on Wednesday and also Thursday.
It's been a long week but I'm doing ok. I'm taking care of details and just absorbing it all. I think I did so much pre-grieving in his last weeks that I've been through the worst of it and I'm ready to accept it all.
He and Mom are together again and that feels right.
Poor guy, it was a long slow decline. It's over for him now and he's finally with Mom again.
It's just my sister and I now. We had a brother who died 10 years ago.
We had a lovely graveside service on Wednesday. He was a Navy veteran of WWII (1944-1946) in the North Atlantic and then the South Pacific. We asked for military honors at the funeral and we were very impressed by how it was handled. Two Navy personnel were there before we arrived, one played taps and the other saluted at the head of the casket. Then they took the flag from the coffin, did the ceremonial folding and gave the flag to my sister and I and thanked us for his service.
All in all, it was a nice way to wrap up his life and say goodbye. One of our sons was away on a business trip. He had seen Dad before he left and we told him that he was not expected to come home if it happened while he was gone. He left Monday morning and Dad passed that night. We asked the rabbi at the funeral if it was ok for our other son to take pictures for his brother and he thought it was a great idea.
Dad was Jewish and he had asked for a kosher casket. It's a plain pine box with wooden pegs instead of nails and there are openings at the bottom to allow for deterioration instead of preservation. Dad wasn't religious but he was frugal and a very practical guy.
One of the Jewish customs that I like is that the mourners wear a black ribbon, the rabbi tears it and then we tear it. It's instead of tearing your own clothing in grief.
Another custom is that anyone at the grave site who wants to can shovel dirt in the grave after the vault cover is laid. It may sound gruesome but it's very cathartic. The rabbi goes first them my sister and I and any family and then anyone else attending.
It all was very nice and we had shiva (calling hours) at my sister's house afterward on Wednesday and also Thursday.
It's been a long week but I'm doing ok. I'm taking care of details and just absorbing it all. I think I did so much pre-grieving in his last weeks that I've been through the worst of it and I'm ready to accept it all.
He and Mom are together again and that feels right.
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