Finding companions with similar interests

[MuirWannabe]

I want to thank everyone for your replies and ideas. It isn’t easy. But perhaps the most important thing is to take my swings at the plate and just see if I can make contact or if I strike out. I’ll be trying and have already started with several of the ideas mentioned. A sincere thanks to each of you.

 

[ivinsfan]

This is quite the challenge and good luck to you. If it's any consolation this can be an issue to anyone, anytime.


We're having some challenges with our snow birding adventures. Since we live rural half the fun is more social interaction. We like Utah but in the last 7 years, my sister in Utah moved out East. We love traveling with two different couples. We don't travel together but spend at least a couple weeks renting a condo together. One of the couples had someone develop serious mobility issues and don't travel much. The wife of the other couple who I love dearly has developed Stage 4 cancer and isn't traveling. Were at a loss here, we have some other friends and cousin type couples that we like very much, but aren't certain we'd mesh, but I think we're just going to have to give it a try.


In summer we like being outdoors, fishing, grilling, water stuff and have bought a park trailer at one of the best Walleye lakes in the country a little North of here. It's a small family resort and we have people very friendly and willing to do things together.


It's very much like trying to thread the needle and takes a ton of patience. I hope something happens for you soon.

 

[luckydude]

So, I’ve seen a few threads in the past on this topic. I searched and read a couple very old threads about meetup.com.

I like to backpack, adventure travel, hike, and also enjoy gambling occasionally in Vegas. DW will sometimes join me on these escapades, but usually somewhat reluctantly. I’m just more hardcore on these activities than she is, which is fine. She’s allowed to enjoy different things of course.

Other friends I have are either not retired or retired but also not interested. How can I meet new people who share these interests? I’ve just signed up with meetup.com. But the interests and group lists don’t seem to match up very well with my specifics. Still, I’ll give it a try and see. But I’m skeptical it will pan out to the point where I make 1-3 new friends who I could travel and long distance hike with for example.

The answer is probably there is no easy way. Making friends is difficult. Particularly when you have such specific needs such as:
- retired
- disposable income available for travel
- healthy enough for adventure travel
- personality fit

Has anyone else had success they can share? Thanks.

Muir

IMO, the easiest way to meet people who share your interests is to talk to your fellow travelers/hikers when you're traveling/hiking.

For example, I've been retired for 7 years now, and being an avid mountain biker, I am out on the trails riding pretty much every day. I make the point of saying hi and chatting up other mountain bikers when I am riding. Shared interest in mounting biking makes conversation very easy, and over the years many of these casual acquaintances have become riding buddies. Some I ride with on weekends, others once a month, and still others once a week. A few have become great friends and with them, I've taken mountain biking trips overseas. It doesn't matter if they are retired or not; it only matters that they love to ride and when they have time to ride together, I join them.

The same goes for traveling. I am always friendly and outgoing when I travel solo. I take opportunities to strike up conversations either with locals or fellow travelers---on the bus or train, in hotels, tourist sights or trailheads. Sometimes I ended up doing a hike with a stranger I meet on the trail; other times I ended up traveling with them for a day or two or even a week if our itineraries match up before saying good-bye.

A few of these fellow travelers I met ended up being long-term friends who have invited me to visit them in their home countries. In one case, a young Slovakian couple whom I met while traveling in Scotland invited me to their wedding in Slovakia when they got married (I couldn't make it because of Covid). Another German fellow who works for the German Central Bank whom I met in South America showed me around when I visited Berlin.

I think it's impossible to find the "perfect fit". Instead, just be spontaneous and friendly when you're hiking or traveling or doing whatever activities or hobbies you enjoy. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to meet people and make friends who share your interests. A smile and a friendly hello can do wonders when it comes meeting people anywhere you go.

 

[Scuba]

I have been very successful, almost too successful, starting my own Meetup group. We have 375 members now after starting it about 15 months ago. I started it to make female friends to share a variety of interests and I have made some good friends. My group is not focused on specific activities, but most groups are.

Regarding travel, another way to meet like minded travel companions is to work with a good travel agent who runs interest specific trips. My best friend runs wine tasting trips and birding trips and puts together small groups. Her group members have become friends and often plan repeat trips together.

 

[old medic]

How can I meet new people who share these interests? I’ve just signed up with meetup.com. But the interests and group lists don’t seem to match up very well with my specifics. Still, I’ll give it a try and see. But I’m skeptical it will pan out
Has anyone else had success they can share?

We have belonged to several outdoor type Meetup Groups and made a few friends, Facebook also has similar groups, and theres other type Forums. The only way to meet people is to jump in and say hello...Be yourself, and don't be to critical of who your meeting. But I've the personality of never meeting a stranger

OK How this for success
1) On the 22nd our daughter is getting married while camping at a state park. There are about a dozen campsites reserved by folks that we have met over the years through different online groups, starting over 20 years ago, and have watched her grow up. Including the Rev performing the ceremony.

2) Just got home from a 6 day camping Rally. This is year 10, 17 campers, most have been coming for years.. All because of an internet forum.

3) In November spending 4-5 Days on a tent camping Kayak trip with a group that have become family over the years...

Best of luck, and hollar if ya get to WNC...

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

Check out Facebook Groups too. I find many of the MeetUp groups (but far from all) are guises for for-profit companies/individuals to market themselves/sell tours rather than to get together in a shared activity with like minded people. I think this is partially due to the fees for hosting which keeps some from creating a purely social group at their own expense.


If a local group isn't in existence on FB or MeetUp, you could create one too! I've thought about it but have managed to find groups for most activities I want to do and am a member of one group that is random social and every member can be a host if they want so any odd-ball thing I want to do I can post there if my friends won't play with me. -turn out can be hit or miss with that group and the ratio of extremely socially awkward people seems to be a bit higher there too than interest specific.


Also do searches for clubs in your area of interests. Newer groups seem to be mostly organized in groups on social media but longer lasting groups seem to be more old school with websites, meetings/mailing lists, and social media presence without a "group" established.

 

[RVplusDog]

I was in a similar situation. I find a VERY low percentage of retirees are interested in the tough hikes I do daily. I’m western NC and when we say steep, we mean it. Likewise bushwhacks. What worked for me was mainly joining facebook groups for local hiking and waterfall areas. Posting photos of my hikes and saying “always looking for people to hike with!” Now I have a dozen or more hiking friends. Almost all are younger and still working. A few are nurses and independent business owners who can hike weekdays, and the rest mainly hike on weekends and vacations. I still hike alone (with the dog) at least half the time because I hike every day. Just got my weekly fitbit stats, was a pretty good week!

 

[Lsbcal]

Wow RVplusDog, you are quite the hiker. I bet your dog sleeps well too.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Wow RVplusDog, you are quite the hiker. I bet your dog sleeps well too.

No kidding. I’m jealous. It would be wonderful to live close to the mountains.

 

[Lsbcal]

Probably not for the OP but DW and I enjoy joining a group of "urban sketchers" once a month. There might be one in your area and the requirements are you just show up and do some art outside. Most people do watercolor sketches but some do oil and others do drawing (pencil, ink and/or colored pencils). There are a full range of experiences and you do not have to show your work to the group if you don't want to.

Generally the people who enjoy this are low key and not really competitive.

Here is one source on groups:
https://urbansketchers.org/where-we-sketch/

 

[daylatedollarshort]

The Sierra Club has many pretty active groups here including difficult hikes. I don't know how active they are in other parts of the country.

 

[JP.mpls]

I joined a road bicycling club. It is primarily retired people, and pace and distance are doable for me. The routes are all well planned, and are on a mix of bike trails and safer roads.
I like the exercise. The people are very friendly, and there is a subset that bikes to the brewpub once a week, which I also enjoy.
Good luck, JP

 

[gayl]

I was in a similar situation. .... hike alone (with the dog)

Yep. Dogs. That's a great way to meet people. They were just walking around with theirs. We're now a friendly pack of 12 dogs, 6 people .... sometimes more but that's the core group. Honestly I'm fine (now) with dog friends who also travel and bb friends who also like music. Some retired / some WFH

Muirwannabe it can take time .... find 1 thing you like and build from there

 

[Chuckanut]

Here's an interview with a guy who studied "Happiness".

https://peterattiamd.com/arthurbrooks/

At about 32 minutes he gets into some interesting discussisons about why men have more problems building a network of good friends for support. I suggest listening to it from there to about 50 minutes.

the makeup of a true friendship, and why men tend to struggle with making real friends [36:45];

 

[garyt]

I have to believe there are Facebook pages for all those activities, and probably local ones at that