Social life ... or lack thereof

[Dtail]

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

Nicely stated.

 

[MarieIG]

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

I am not looking - but if I were, yes, this is exactly what I would seek in a partner.

 

[Badger]

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

If I was looking (I'm not if my wife asks) these are some of the same things I would look for in women. I would also pay attention to how she treats servers, clerical help or anyone of a lower economic status.

Cheers!

 

[Amethyst]

I care about all those things, and I also like to hold a man around the waist and feel...his waistline. Not killer abs (muscle-y isn't my type), but not a spare tire, either. Someone who takes care of his health is very, very desirable to me.

Such older men exist (I was married to one) but for very good reasons, they are seldom single.

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

 

[ls99]

........
Such older men exist (I was married to one) but for very good reasons, they are seldom single.

Or if they become single/widowed later in life, choose to stay single. As in my case.

 

[GaryInCO]

Thank you, @Aerides. Well said.

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

 

[F.I.R.E User]

The OP is 67 so looking for a partner who would likely be at least a 50 yo woman, not a tinder night.

The right person will not care about his abs. She will not be looking to "hook up" and she will not care about his body fat percentage.

She will care only that he is kind, warm, stable, healthy and takes reasonably good care of himself. She will take note of how he treats her, his family, and strangers, and whether they are good companions for one another at home and on travels.

If the 50s woman is fit then she may expect a fit guy. Looks matter.

 

[razztazz]

The right person will not care

If the 50s woman is fit then she may expect a fit guy. Looks matter.

Then she wouldn't be the right person. It's self-defining

 

[Amethyst]

You all seem to be saying that fitness is merely vanity, a position with which I disagree. The pursuit of fitness is a lifestyle. Lifestyles need to be compatible for a couple to be compatible.

 

[Aerides]

You all seem to be saying that fitness is merely vanity, a position with which I disagree. The pursuit of fitness is a lifestyle. Lifestyles need to be compatible for a couple to be compatible.

No, I'm not saying that. I did specifically say that a man who takes reasonably good care of himself is important - and the definition of what is reasonable is in the eye of the beholder.

I did, however, wish to slap down the idea that any intelligent woman over 50 requires a man to be ripped with 6-pack abs. That's just nonsense, and not attainable for a lot of people under 50, let alone over. That's beyond fit, that's vanity and a lifestyle. And that's not helpful to the OP.

 

[Music Lover]

If the 50s woman is fit then she may expect a fit guy. Looks matter.

Being fit is more than how you look, it's also a matter of health. I'm not interested in someone that won't take care of their body.

 

[aja8888]

I'm 79, and physically fit, with perfect blood work and take only one med (Flowmax generic). I don't have "washboard abs" and I don't think I could ever establish those now given the muscle loss that accompanies old age.

No woman has ever given me any indication washboard abs were important in her view of attractiveness in an older man. Although I have not asked any ladies about this, but I may as some and see what answers I get.

 

[JoeWras]

Washboard abs. Happy Labor day weekend, everyone!

 

[braumeister]

Might not look like a washboard, but I do have a flat stomach.

(The L is silent.)

 

[aja8888]

Might not look like a washboard, but I do have a flat stomach.

(The L is silent.)

Me too! and I have good teeth and all my original hair. But I do have some metal parts under the skin.

 

[badatmath]

The right person will not care



Then she wouldn't be the right person. It's self-defining

Completely agree. I could care less about abs.

You all seem to be saying that fitness is merely vanity, a position with which I disagree. The pursuit of fitness is a lifestyle. Lifestyles need to be compatible for a couple to be compatible.

I would not say I agree with this either entirely.

One of the happiest couples I knew (married 41 years until she passed) were really very different. He was the skydiving high risk taker and she was more the stay inside and knit kind but they had basically the same values and some common interests. He was devoted to her to the last moment.

Editing to add: the only thing Aerides left out that I can think of is "must like animals" or at least be kind to them.

 

[captain3d]

Editing to add: the only thing Aerides left out that I can think of is "must like animals" or at least be kind to them.

And only eat the really tasty ones.

 

[Amethyst]

It does seem unreasonable, unless she is a senior body builder and really needs someone else who's into that lifestyle. Very rare situation, I'd expect. Not many takers.

Still, it doesn't mean we can somehow legislate what any person is attracted to, let alone call them unintelligent, unreasonable, shallow, etc. for being honest with themselves about what interests them, or doesn't. If that preference is unavailable, then being alone may be a better choice than an uncomfortable compromise.

No, I'm not saying that. I did specifically say that a man who takes reasonably good care of himself is important - and the definition of what is reasonable is in the eye of the beholder.

I did, however, wish to slap down the idea that any intelligent woman over 50 requires a man to be ripped with 6-pack abs..

 

[badatmath]

And only eat the really tasty ones.

UGH.

 

[Amethyst]

They managed to find enough points of compatibility, so that was a win for them.

One of the happiest couples I knew (married 41 years until she passed) were really very different. He was the skydiving high risk taker and she was more the stay inside and knit kind but they had basically the same values and some common interests. He was devoted to her to the last moment.

.

 

[GaryInCO]

They managed to find enough points of compatibility, so that was a win for them.

That was basically me too, except married only 20 years and then she dumped me. I went skydiving and skiing double-diamond slopes. She was mostly into knitting and beading. But we had enough points of compatibility that I loved her to death. Unfortunately she changed (a lot) over the years and didn't want me any more.

 

[captain3d]

UGH.

Just an observation that most animal lovers are not vegetarian. I find the paradox amusing.

 

[Amethyst]

Gary. that's a tragedy. It says much about you, that you want to try again after having been treated like that. My hope is that you will be able to see a new person in their own light, rather than through the lens of your treatment by your former mate.

That was basically me too, except married only 20 years and then she dumped me. I went skydiving and skiing double-diamond slopes. She was mostly into knitting and beading. But we had enough points of compatibility that I loved her to death. Unfortunately she changed (a lot) over the years and didn't want me any more.

 

[W2R]

No woman has ever given me any indication washboard abs were important in her view of attractiveness in an older man. Although I have not asked any ladies about this, but I may as some and see what answers I get.

I'm 75 and retired. I don't give a hoot about washboard abs (although Frank looks very fit and healthy). He's also unusually short and I'm unusually tall, but that doesn't bother us either.

He knows what I care about in a guy - - and that's somebody intelligent who likes me and can take care of himself financially, with no plans to leech off my savings. He supports himself completely and I do the same, no gold diggers in this relationship. Works for us.