FIRE and Divorce

[Omega]

Wow. My husband and I are trying hard to keep things fair and amicable. We each kept our own retirement accounts and our kids are already grown. I'm not sure if I would marry again, it's hard enough to start dating!

 

[Hermit]

Wow. My husband and I are trying hard to keep things fair and amicable. We each kept our own retirement accounts and our kids are already grown. I'm not sure if I would marry again, it's hard enough to start dating!

As someone who has been single going on 10 years, dating is optional.

(It helps to live way up in the mountains by yourself.)

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

The strange thing is I know several couples that have been together for well over ten years and decide to get married and then split up shortly after . I can not figure it why that happens.

I can figure out why.

They got married.

 

[kcowan]

The strange thing is I know several couples that have been together for well over ten years and decide to get married and then split up shortly after . I can not figure it why that happens.

Sometimes people view marriage as a bond whereas just being together requires continual effort. I emphasize "sometimes".

(We are just together and had a cohabitation agreement drawn up. 23 years so far.)

 

[hausfrau]

But, I would never feel the same way about another man, so there would be no second marriage for me.

This is how I feel too. I feel so lucky because I could never figure out why people say marriage is so hard. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and it's been pretty easy the whole time. We have similar values and outlooks. Maybe that's why. I dunno, when he is away for a day I miss him and look forward to when he comes home.

 

[Vacation4us]

As I stated earlier my new husband and I have a prenup, there were financial reasons to marry though. He has a pension with health insurance until Medicare at 65. If he dies before me I will get his pension. If we divorce I get no portion of his pension.

We plan to travel while we are still young enough to enjoy it.

Marriage does change things somewhat, I tease my husband all the time that it's better to have a boyfriend since he worked pretty hard to convince me to be wife number 3.

I will admit he's pretty darn good to me, I guess I like his undivided attention. Wife number 1 and 2 were fools in my book!! But from my husbands perspective fool me once fool me twice...

He and wife number 2 discussed a prenup. She agreed, he didn't follow through. That cost him big time. I can see both sides when it's marry or don't marry again. The romantic in me is for marriage so is my difficult side since it's harder to walk away but Love is the key.

I truly feel for those not willing or able to love again. It just makes me sad, because love and companionship are what brings life Joy and Happiness!

 

[Omega]

This is how I feel too. I feel so lucky because I could never figure out why people say marriage is so hard. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and it's been pretty easy the whole time. We have similar values and outlooks. Maybe that's why. I dunno, when he is away for a day I miss him and look forward to when he comes home.

I think this is how you know you have the right person.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

As I stated earlier my new husband and I have a prenup, there were financial reasons to marry though. He has a pension with health insurance until Medicare at 65. If he dies before me I will get his pension. If we divorce I get no portion of his pension.

We plan to travel while we are still young enough to enjoy it.

Marriage does change things somewhat, I tease my husband all the time that it's better to have a boyfriend since he worked pretty hard to convince me to be wife number 3.

I will admit he's pretty darn good to me, I guess I like his undivided attention. Wife number 1 and 2 were fools in my book!! But from my husbands perspective fool me once fool me twice...

He and wife number 2 discussed a prenup. She agreed, he didn't follow through. That cost him big time. I can see both sides when it's marry or don't marry again. The romantic in me is for marriage so is my difficult side since it's harder to walk away but Love is the key.

I truly feel for those not willing or able to love again. It just makes me sad, because love and companionship are what brings life Joy and Happiness!

Companionship and marriage are 2 different things. I've known married people who feel very alone.

I agree with you that companionship is a great thing. Just having companions and not marrying can save a lot of money. It has for me. I would still be working if I had done things differently.

 

[Omega]

I truly feel for those not willing or able to love again. It just makes me sad, because love and companionship are what brings life Joy and Happiness!

I hope I can find Joy and Happiness even if I never meet Mr. Right!

 

[Sunset]

I hope I can find Joy and Happiness even if I never meet Mr. Right!

Sometimes it's more fun with Mr. Wrong

 

[tulak]

I truly feel for those not willing or able to love again. It just makes me sad, because love and companionship are what brings life Joy and Happiness!

Love doesn't need to include marriage. Not sure if it was your intent to combine the two, but they are very separate. It is possible to have love and companionship without marriage.

Personally, I have mixed feelings towards marriage. I like the idea and would love to find somebody that I'd want to marry, but I think it'd be crazy to actually marry.

This is how I feel too. I feel so lucky because I could never figure out why people say marriage is so hard. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and it's been pretty easy the whole time. We have similar values and outlooks. Maybe that's why. I dunno, when he is away for a day I miss him and look forward to when he comes home.

I think this is how you know you have the right person.

My marriage was never hard. And it was very good for about 17 years. Maybe it should have been harder? IDK.

My take: each relationship is unique.

I've known married people who feel very alone.

If I didn't push the issue, this probably could have been me. Actually, it has been me for the last few years.

 

[Omega]

Sometimes it's more fun with Mr. Wrong

Ha! Truth...

 

[Vacation4us]

Marry don't marry it's a personal choice, but for me I want a man in my life. I want a significant other and everything that entails. He makes my life complete.

Personally I would not be happy alone. If others find joy and happiness alone great.

Divorce sucks and I am sure my ex who fought every moment and $ in a 50/50 state would say he was robbed. He made it, he spent it and I saved every dollar I could scrap together since I handled the finances. Married 18 years to a narcissistic addict, but will love that jerk till I drop. He is like one of my children. New husband is truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

I will never forget my mom during our divorce....honey (me) don't you wish you had spent more $$ while you were married?

My answer, NO! There wouldn't have been anything to split if I spent like him.

Lucky for me I choose a profession where I could go from occasional work to full time and make enough to support myself and my kids.

Waived alimony, he is far more likely to be unemployed (sales) in his 50's than me. I had to convince my attorney I was 100% sure of that!!

Funny thing he swears he'll never marry again but bought a house with bartender GF, �� duh! Hope that works out for him.

I think DH and Our prenup is safer.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

Marry don't marry it's a personal choice, but for me I want a man in my life. I want a significant other and everything that entails. He makes my life complete.

Personally I would not be happy alone. If others find joy and happiness alone great.

Divorce sucks and I am sure my ex who fought every moment and $ in a 50/50 state would say he was robbed. He made it, he spent it and I saved every dollar I could scrap together since I handled the finances. Married 18 years to a narcissistic addict, but will love that jerk till I drop. He is like one of my children. New husband is truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

I will never forget my mom during our divorce....honey (me) don't you wish you had spent more $$ while you were married?

My answer, NO! There wouldn't have been anything to split if I spent like him.

Lucky for me I choose a profession where I could go from occasional work to full time and make enough to support myself and my kids.

Waived alimony, he is far more likely to be unemployed (sales) in his 50's than me. I had to convince my attorney I was 100% sure of that!!

Funny thing he swears he'll never marry again but bought a house with bartender GF, �� duh! Hope that works out for him.

I think DH and Our prenup is safer.

Couldn't you have a significant other, all it entails, and a complete life without being married? I did.

I'm wondering why you feel getting married gives you something someone unmarried is not getting.

 

[Huston55]

I will never forget my mom during our divorce....honey (me) don't you wish you had spent more $$ while you were married?

That’s classic! Love it!

 

[Vacation4us]

Couldn't you have a significant other, all it entails, and a complete life without being married? I did.

I'm wondering why you feel getting married gives you something someone unmarried is not getting.

I don't.

It took my current husband 8 years of Asking me to marry him before I agreed. I can clearly see the value of being single with a BF.

For us getting married will enable us to retire together and have the life we want.

Why you ask? Because his mega pension comes with health insurance until Medicare kicks in, and my 401k can't be tapped until 59.5 without consequences. Not to mention that if he passes before me I will inherit his pension.

Unromantic reasoning, yes! But it will work for us! He loves to say I married him for his money, Not!