Hi advice on dating

[Gumby]

I have been married for 36 years. If something should happen to the young wife, I eventually might have another relationship but I doubt I would ever marry again.

 

[Rianne]

I have been married for 36 years. If something should happen to the young wife, I eventually might have another relationship but I doubt I would ever marry again.

+1 35 years for us.

 

[Souschef]

I have been married for 36 years. If something should happen to the young wife, I eventually might have another relationship but I doubt I would ever marry again.

YMMV
I was married for 30 years, lost my wife, but was blessed to find a soulmate. We just celebrated our 12th anniversary

 

[socca]

Date, have fun, share common interests, be committed if you both prefer, but don't marry.

Yes, but if our lovebirds become a "de facto couple" under Australian family law, the OP could be on the hook for "property and/or spousal maintenance" if the relationship doesn't last. Ouch!

From wikipedia:

A de facto couple must cohabit for a minimum of two years for the Family Law Act to apply, unless if they have a child together, have registered the relationship, or have made significant contributions to the relationship. Parties to a de facto relationship have only two years after separation in which to file for property and/or spousal maintenance in the Family Court.

 

[Car-Guy]

I have been married for 36 years. If something should happen to the young wife, I eventually might have another relationship but I doubt I would ever marry again.

+1 35 years for us.

Married young and so far ~44.385 years here. (But who's counting ) If I should outlive the DW, (doubtful) I will not marry again but I would consider cohabitation. There is your proof; some of us guys can learn from experience and/or accept new trends.

 

[ER Eddie]

Hi - I am a 50 year old male and heading towards retiring (if I choose to) in a couple of years. Am also divorced with older working children. Currently dating a younger woman with very little in the way of assets. I like her, but figure if we get too involved I will be risking my assets. What would you do?

I actually quite like working too when I am working in a good company with nice people. However, I do want to set myself up so that it is completely optional.

Thanks!

I would avoid marriage and cohabitation. I would protect my assets.

I would also be careful with how you manage the relationship/sex, to ensure that she does not get pregnant. That will put you on the hook for 18 years of child support. The safest bet is to get clipped. Also, manage any conflict/breakup in a way that minimizes the risk of retaliation via false allegations.

 

[Surfer]

Boy...It sounds like with the defining laws in Australia, the only ones who are safe on the dating scene are men and women who are both alike...both either have assets or both have not. In your case, I would hunt around for a woman with assets. Thinking about it on a sociological level, it looks like a class system has evolved.

Yes, maybe this is the way to go Redbugdave. Thanks.

 

[FIREd]

I am divorced and I have no intention to ever remarry. Thankfully, common-law or de-facto marriages are not legally recognized where I live so I can have long-term relationships without adverse financial implications.

In my case though, I am looking for a relationship where both parties maintain their independence, both in terms of housing and finances. My primary concern is not asset protection, however. It is to avoid creating the kind of legal and financial ties that keep people together well after love is gone.

 

[Chuckanut]

The laws were changed some time ago. If the widow or widower is over 60, they do not lose the SS of their spouse.
That was the case with us.

Really? Wow! I missed out on the opportunity to have at least three wives taking care of the household chores and showering me with TLC. Gosh darn it!

OTOH, everything I have will go to my kids, so the three ladies won't have to fight over it.

 

[MarieIG]

Date a woman, your own age, whom you are crazy about, with comparable assets, her own kids - who doesn't want to remarry or cohabitate.

 

[MarieIG]

+1 35 years for us.

+2 would not remarry but would also NOT cohabitate. There would never be another DH and why make braking up a hassle?

 

[Letj]

The laws were changed some time ago. If the widow or widower is over 60, they do not lose the SS of their spouse.
That was the case with us.

If they do get divorced wouldn’t they qualify for 50% of their new Spouse’s social security (assuming new spouse has started to collect)?

 

[travelover]

I got divorced at 47 and my experience was that almost none of the women that I dated had much in terms of savings, so I'd say that if typical. I did end up with a gal with a nice pension, though, and we do have a prenup which has some standing here in the US of A.

 

[Surfer]

After dating her for 6 months, if you are more concerned with risk of losing money than losing her, then let her go, she's not the one. At that stage you should be peak-head-over-heels. You're clearly not ("i like her"), so regardless of the finances, it would be kinder to part ways.

I am pretty cautious though this time, so not letting my emotions get ahead of my reasoning.

 

[Surfer]

I would avoid marriage and cohabitation. I would protect my assets.

I would also be careful with how you manage the relationship/sex, to ensure that she does not get pregnant. That will put you on the hook for 18 years of child support. The safest bet is to get clipped. Also, manage any conflict/breakup in a way that minimizes the risk of retaliation via false allegations.

Good advice there Eddie and yes, thankfully I have already “had the snip”, so no risk of pregnancy.

 

[Surfer]

I got divorced at 47 and my experience was that almost none of the women that I dated had much in terms of savings, so I'd say that if typical. I did end up with a gal with a nice pension, though, and we do have a prenup which has some standing here in the US of A.

I must say I wish we had prenups or similar agreements if the relationship goes more than 2 years had more standing here in Australia.

 

[Surfer]

Happiness is being single.....(sample size of one)

It does have its advantages for sure.

 

[Surfer]

Could just be the way you express yourself, but I don't exactly hear a great love affair here. You're comparing your feelings toward a woman with your feelings toward work: You quite like it when it's going well, but want it to stay optional. In that light, I'm not sure you should be taking up a young woman's most marriageable/childbearing years with your heavily qualified affections (I'm assuming she is of childbearing age, since you only said "younger."). If I were you, I'd let her go before she feels too involved.

She doesn’t want children. She is also not entirely settled in terms of where she wants to live. Right now we live in the same city.

 

[flyingaway]

What would be the advices for an old rich man to date a young poor woman?

 

[nancyfrank232]

What would be the advices for an old rich man to date a young poor woman?

Sugar Baby dating web site

https://www.insider.com/teachers-are-increasingly-becoming-sugar-babies-to-supplement-salary-2019-10

https://www.businessinsider.my/suga...r-started-after-discharged-from-army-2019-12/

https://www.businessinsider.com/sugar-baby-relationship-sugar-daddy-what-its-like-2019-8

 

[Sunset]

Thanks Mr Tightwad - None of my mail is going to her place and none of her mail is going to mine. I have only been seeing her around 6 months. I am aware of the two year threshold and I understand you don’t even have to be living with someone in Australia for that to apply, as long as there has been a regular pattern of spending nights together. I have also heard of guys in my situation just not committing to relationships of any length due to this. It is actually really sad that the law is having that effect.

Wow, the odd effects of laws.

OP - You don't sound too attached to this person, maybe look for someone who is a better fit (and maybe not a subtle tricky gold digger?).
Seems like the laws would encourage folks to openly cheat, just to prove a lack of involvement in the relationship.

 

[ER Eddie]

Pre-nups get whittled down or tossed out of court all the time, so I wouldn't rely on those. I guess that's not a factor for you, though.

I'd also stay clear in my head about why she's involved with me. I'm not saying you aren't a wonderful person full of interpersonal charm, but you have to recognize why a younger woman with no assets chooses an older man with resources and status. Enjoy yourself, just be aware of the implicit exchange.

I know that sounds cynical. I'm not feeling that way as I say it. I just think it's good to keep the basics in mind and not get sucked into making decisions based on feelings, especially at this stage (6 months), when everything feels fresh/exciting and chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, hormones) can bias thought processes.

p.s. Good decision to get snipped. I need to take my own advice on that, one of these days.

 

[street]

Does "common law marriage" have any legal financial consequences even though not legally married?

 

[Car-Guy]

I am pretty cautious though this time, so not letting my emotions get ahead of my reasoning.

Now that's using your big head....

 

[Rianne]

Just heard Sharon Stone is on Bumble dating app. She might be worried you're looking for a sugar momma!