Hi advice on dating

[Amethyst]

That's for sure. Good management is everything.

Advanced age of parenthood does not mean never retiring.

 

[socca]

I’ve got too much in assets and property for any guy to ever date me again. All I’ve ever encountered in the last 20 years is broke guys.

I have a relative who dangled her wealth to attract (and ultimately marry) a guy she met on a cruise. Her wealth allowed him to retire early. I warned her that a certain kind of bait attracts a certain kind of fish, but she wouldn't listen.

High financial net worth does not imply high non-financial net worth. Some folks would argue that the non-financial net worth calculation is more important.

 

[athena53]

I’ve got too much in assets and property for any guy to ever date me again. All I’ve ever encountered in the last 20 years is broke guys. Now I’m 20++ years too old for anyone under the age of what appear to be 80. I’m 58.

Assets, rockin bod, Uber intelligent, good cook, growing a 32’ x40’ garden I filled myself, and I can see and design all things home improvement - and I’ll never date again.... I know all you guys are thinking- ah she must be a bitch. With all this going on and zero eligible men that are not the age of decrepit, wouldn’t you be!!

I hope you don't give up. I'm 67 and in a similar situation. I was really put off by the many listings on Match.com from men my age looking for women 15-20 years younger. I was NOT going to go hunting in the 80+ age group. I also suspect that the guys in my age group who are "loaded" are looking for arm candy, carefully-maintained with facials, Botox, manicures, pedicures, their grey hair tastefully colored something else, etc. I work hard to maintain my "rockin' bod" but I'm not interested in the rest.

I'm glad to have found a good man who might qualify as "broke"- got divorced at 61 and the Ex has the house till she chooses to sell it- but he's not a mooch and he stands on his own two feet financially. (My first husband was a mooch. I know what one looks like.) We do simple things together that both of us can afford- we have dinner at my place a lot, meet for breakfast (he's a little over an hour away), and next month we'll be going to my favorite B&B in Hermann, MO. We went last year and the marginal cost of having him with me was minimal- we drove there. He picked up a few meal costs. I was fine with that and we really enjoyed it.

I consider myself very fortunate to have found a man sensible enough to look in his own age group.

 

[Chuckanut]

Well, you're at the thin end of several bell curves. That makes it hard to find a compatible mate even when young.

What struck me is that I cannot imagine a man with your attributes, worrying about whether any woman thinks he is a b**** (or whatever the male equivalent might be).

When I entered my 2nd bachelorhood, I found that there are many fine women out in the world. I can assure you there are a number of fine men out there also. While we don't advertise ourselves, we don't hide in the bushes either. Covid does make meeting new people tough these days. All the reason to stay healthy, keep active and optimistic, and wait for better days, which I am certain are coming.

 

[RunningBum]

I cannot believe there is this much chatter about men and dating women young enough to be their children, and that women typically don’t have any assets. And their oops getting pregnant.

I’ve got too much in assets and property for any guy to ever date me again. All I’ve ever encountered in the last 20 years is broke guys. Now I’m 20++ years too old for anyone under the age of what appear to be 80. I’m 58.

Assets, rockin bod, Uber intelligent, good cook, growing a 32’ x40’ garden I filled myself, and I can see and design all things home improvement - and I’ll never date again.... I know all you guys are thinking- ah she must be a bitch. With all this going on and zero eligible men that are not the age of decrepit, wouldn’t you be!!

It sounds like you've had some bad experiences, but I don't think that's all that's out there. if I'd have seen this 5 months ago, I might've privately asked if you wanted to meet. My preference would have been to meet someone active, sharp, around my age (I'm 58 as well), and able to stand on their own feet financially. For sure not someone looking for a sugar daddy. However, I'm now dating someone who I'd been really good friends with for years but seemed to usually be in a relationship. We found ourselves both single and decided to try it, and it's definitely working. Yeah, she happens to be 13 years younger, which I suppose is nice in some ways but an issue in others as we're definitely in different stages of life. I won't be one of those posters who refers to "the young wife (or girlfriend)." That comes off as bragging to me, about something I wouldn't brag about, but maybe there's another reason they do it.

 

[tulak]

I’m also in my 2nd round and lucky to have met somebody recently (on match). Even in a pandemic it’s possible, but admittedly, not easy.

My one requirement: they had to be born in the same decade or roughly +/- 5 years.

I don’t think I’m unique and I’m sure there are plenty of other guys that prefer women around the same age. This is my preference, mainly because it increases the chances we have similar life experiences.

 

[flyingaway]

I would like to say that youth (age), beauty, money, (and other things) are all assets. If some people have and want to make use of those assets, it is their choices.

 

[samm]

In Australia you have "De facto relationship " laws where you might have to pay alimony (even though not married)if you hit the two year mark and then things end. ...The Australian ladies I've spoken with say guys avoid relationships completely in order to not qualify. And thats their words, not mine....

Maybe this is why I see so many Australian men "dating" in Thailand.

 

[Gumby]

I won't be one of those posters who refers to "the young wife (or girlfriend)." That comes off as bragging to me, about something I wouldn't brag about, but maybe there's another reason they do it.

Well, my young wife has always been younger than me, since we met 40 years ago when she was 19 and I was 21. We've been married for 36 of those years. She's still the young wife.

 

[FIREd]

I’m also in my 2nd round and lucky to have met somebody recently (on match). Even in a pandemic it’s possible, but admittedly, not easy.

My one requirement: they had to be born in the same decade or roughly +/- 5 years.

I don’t think I’m unique and I’m sure there are plenty of other guys that prefer women around the same age. This is my preference, mainly because it increases the chances we have similar life experiences.

I'm also in my 2nd round and I relate best to women who are my age (or a bit older).

 

[W2R]

I feel so lucky to have found Frank over twenty years ago. We met on a dating website. On our first date I told him that if he wanted a wife to keep looking, and that I wanted emotional commitment but without living together or mixing our money since I was saving for retirement. He thought that was great, since he had heard so many stories about women on these sites being gold-diggers.

As for age, he is 6 years younger than me. But I don't think that's young enough for me to qualify as a "cougar", quite.

We are still happy together after all these years. Five years ago I bought the house next door to his, so we are neighbors but still don't live together. We don't mix our money. This works for us although it probably wouldn't for some others.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

Maybe this is why I see so many Australian men "dating" in Thailand.

The Philippines is the other oasis for what they seek.

When I was 55 I was on Match and met a 39yo. 22 months and still going strong. She makes 3x what I do and we take turns paying for meals.

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Well, my young wife has always been younger than me, since we met 40 years ago when she was 19 and I was 21. We've been married for 36 of those years. She's still the young wife.

FWIW, this is always how I assumed it was meant.

 

[braumeister]

I sometimes refer to DW as "my child bride".
We were both over 40 when we got married and she's two years younger.

 

[aja8888]

I was 53 and DW was 51 when we got married. So I, too, have a young bride. Now she will be 75 soon and I will be 77 a few weeks later, so it still applies.

 

[RunningBum]

Well, my young wife has always been younger than me, since we met 40 years ago when she was 19 and I was 21. We've been married for 36 of those years. She's still the young wife.

FWIW, this is always how I assumed it was meant.

Not trying to drag this on, but there is another poster who makes it pretty clear that it is not just a year or two difference. So when I saw gumby do it, I thought here's another one. Not the case here, I got it.

 

[Souschef]

Well, my young wife has always been younger than me, since we met 40 years ago when she was 19 and I was 21. We've been married for 36 of those years. She's still the young wife.

Congrats on you long marriage, Gumby. Also, thanks for clearing up the age difference. I had wondered when you spoke of your "young wife"
By that definition, I also have a "young wife", although she was 64 when we were married. We had both been widowed.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Congrats on you long marriage, Gumby. Also, thanks for clearing up the age difference. I had wondered when you spoke of your "young wife"
By that definition, I also have a "young wife", although she was 64 when we were married. We had both been widowed.

By that definition, I have an ‘old wife’. She’s 6 months my senior. Maybe it’s best for me not to make use of that definition.

 

[MRG]

Well, my young wife has always been younger than me, since we met 40 years ago when she was 19 and I was 21. We've been married for 36 of those years. She's still the young wife.

I have always liked your description. My DW is 3 months younger than me so I guess she qualifies as young. We met in kindergarten.

 

[HI Bill]

I find that Australian law to be ridiculous. How can people not even living together be considered married?

Common law marriage is a thing in 14 US states as well.

 

[HI Bill]

If they do get divorced wouldn’t they qualify for 50% of their new Spouse’s social security (assuming new spouse has started to collect)?

I believe the answer is, the divorced spouse can collect based on his/her former spouses record, as long as they were married 10 years or longer.

 

[Nemo2]

I just realized that DW is 10 years and 22 days younger than me.....I shall immediately confront her and ask what her game is!

 

[athena53]

Common law marriage is a thing in 14 US states as well.

It's a little more deliberate, though. You actually have to represent yourselves to everyone as married. Australia (I just looked it up) will call it a de facto relationship if you were living together as a couple "on a genuine domestic basis". Apparently you could tell the whole world you were NOT married and it might still be considered a de facto relationship.

 

[HI Bill]

It's a little more deliberate, though. You actually have to represent yourselves to everyone as married. Australia (I just looked it up) will call it a de facto relationship if you were living together as a couple "on a genuine domestic basis". Apparently you could tell the whole world you were NOT married and it might still be considered a de facto relationship.

That's the way it is in some US states.

 

[jollystomper]

By that definition, I have an ‘old wife’. She’s 6 months my senior. Maybe it’s best for me not to make use of that definition.

DW is a year older than I am. When we first started hanging out in college, she assumed we were the same age since we were in the same college class. Then my friends threw a surprise party for my 18th birthday. She told me later that when she found out, she was seriously considering not getting to friendly with me... but (lucky for me) she heard from enough other women on campus about how nice and sweet I was, she decided it should not be an issue. And the rest is history...

I never called her "old" anything... my main nicknames for her are titles from a Doors song and from a Commodores song (I used to dedicated them to her when I was a DJ on our college radio). She enjoys that I still use them for her after all these years.

When I retired, she continued to work part time. Some have assumed that since I retired she has to continue working. To those folks I refer to myself as a "kept man".