I have a relative in her mid 60’s who is a severe alcoholic. She lives across the country from me. A few months ago, Adult Protective Services removed her husband from their home because she was in the hospital and he couldn’t be left home alone. He is 83 and has Alzheimer’s, and now lives in a care facility. Since then, her life has spiraled downwards - she hasn’t been able to stay sober, got two DUI’s within one month (fortunately no one was hurt and she no longer has a car so can’t do that again), hasn’t kept up with her bills, etc.
Enter a neighbor who has been helping her in many ways - taking her to the grocery store, helping her around the house with various tasks, and advising her on how to straighten out her life. Because of her heavy drinking and denial thereof over the last 10+ years, she has alienated most friends and family, so this neighbor has become very important to her.
Mr. Helpful Neighbor has suggested he move into my relative’s home rent-free in exchange for continuing to help in similar ways, and if she goes to jail for her DUI’s, he will live in her house and watch her pets while she’s away.
I was already suspicious of his motives for being so helpful, and the suggestion that he move in was a huge red flag to me. I finally got his name from her today. I googled him and I’m pretty sure he is a convicted felon! He was sentenced a few years ago in a con man scheme involving theft of lots of $$$ from several wealthy individuals.
I need to validate that the neighbor is the same person as the ex-felon, but that should be easy. Assuming I’m correct, she isn’t making good decisions and if I tell her his background, she may not be concerned. He seems to be quite a skilled con artist and has her bamboozled into singing his praises. I imagine he could pretty easily convince her that he was innocent.
Is there anything DH and I can do, short of trying to get legal guardianship of her which we don’t want, to protect her interests? She doesn’t have much money but does have a paid for home and I’m afraid he may take it away from her, especially if she goes away for a jail sentence. She could get home and find the locks changed.
Enter a neighbor who has been helping her in many ways - taking her to the grocery store, helping her around the house with various tasks, and advising her on how to straighten out her life. Because of her heavy drinking and denial thereof over the last 10+ years, she has alienated most friends and family, so this neighbor has become very important to her.
Mr. Helpful Neighbor has suggested he move into my relative’s home rent-free in exchange for continuing to help in similar ways, and if she goes to jail for her DUI’s, he will live in her house and watch her pets while she’s away.
I was already suspicious of his motives for being so helpful, and the suggestion that he move in was a huge red flag to me. I finally got his name from her today. I googled him and I’m pretty sure he is a convicted felon! He was sentenced a few years ago in a con man scheme involving theft of lots of $$$ from several wealthy individuals.
I need to validate that the neighbor is the same person as the ex-felon, but that should be easy. Assuming I’m correct, she isn’t making good decisions and if I tell her his background, she may not be concerned. He seems to be quite a skilled con artist and has her bamboozled into singing his praises. I imagine he could pretty easily convince her that he was innocent.
Is there anything DH and I can do, short of trying to get legal guardianship of her which we don’t want, to protect her interests? She doesn’t have much money but does have a paid for home and I’m afraid he may take it away from her, especially if she goes away for a jail sentence. She could get home and find the locks changed.