I "made" $65K today. Why am I having a hard time donating to charity???

[Joylush]

You are not alone. It’s hard to become a spender when you’ve always been a saver. Honestly it gets easier with practice.
I recently “gifted” a rental house to my daughter and another one to my son. It was hard to just give them away but they would eventually either get the houses or the proceeds I received from selling them myself. Had I kept them they would just be subjected to federal estate taxes and I didn’t want that.
Since giving them away, my overall portfolio has pretty much increased to what it would be had I kept them. So I feel better.
One of my lovely long term tenants was in desperate need of dental surgery she needed to have done before getting a knee surgery. She had raised $1000 of the $3000 she needed. I gifted her the $2000 shortfall. She never asked me, I just learned of the need and wanted to help a good person who needed help. When you have a portfolio that can lose or gain tens of thousands of dollars in a day, $2000 is nothing.

So just resign yourself to the fact you cannot take it with you. Spending it allows you to control where it goes. Find the satisfaction in that knowledge.

 

[Koolau]

You are not alone. It’s hard to become a spender when you’ve always been a saver. Honestly it gets easier with practice.
I recently “gifted” a rental house to my daughter and another one to my son. It was hard to just give them away but they would eventually either get the houses or the proceeds I received from selling them myself. Had I kept them they would just be subjected to federal estate taxes and I didn’t want that.
Since giving them away, my overall portfolio has pretty much increased to what it would be had I kept them. So I feel better.
One of my lovely long term tenants was in desperate need of dental surgery she needed to have done before getting a knee surgery. She had raised $1000 of the $3000 she needed. I gifted her the $2000 shortfall. She never asked me, I just learned of the need and wanted to help a good person who needed help. When you have a portfolio that can lose or gain tens of thousands of dollars in a day, $2000 is nothing.

So just resign yourself to the fact you cannot take it with you. Spending it allows you to control where it goes. Find the satisfaction in that knowledge.

I've always thought that giving to people you know (and know of their situation) is much more rewarding than giving to some vast, nebulous mega-charity. Good on you!

 

[kimmsa]

All I can say is you reap what you sow….

 

[Joylush]

I've always thought that giving to people you know (and know of their situation) is much more rewarding than giving to some vast, nebulous mega-charity. Good on you!

That’s the way I feel as well. I do have rental houses. They are all rented below current market rates, quite a bit. But rents have skyrocketed in recent years and they are good long term tenants. I’d rather retain them and earn less than deal with someone unknown. Not the best financial decision on my part but I view it as a round about way of controlling my charitable dollars.

My husband and I have both had dental needs and it can certainly be pricey. So that one kind of touched my heart. I wouldn’t want to put off a needed surgery because I couldn’t afford the dental work. I tend to favor helping those who are not receiving public assistance yet work hard and still struggle. I figure I’m already helping those who receive tax dollar aid.

 

[mickeyd]

As Jack B. said "Don't just do something, stand there." Wisdom is free.

 

[yclipse]

Most people who did not start out in life rich but who did well and now have some assets have to deal with the central question, sometimes articulated and sometimes not, "What if I need this money in the future?"

That question is always there.

 

[Gumby]

Most people who did not start out in life rich but who did well and now have some assets have to deal with the central question, sometimes articulated and sometimes not, "What if I need this money in the future?"

That question is always there.

Charitable giving is currently about 7-8% of our budget, but I am unlikely to greatly increase that anytime soon, for that very reason. I grew up poor and have been on my own, without a backstop, since I left home at 18. And we have no children, so we will need to pay for people to do everything for us when we are in our last years. The need will still be there after we're gone, so whatever is left at that point can be used to help meet it.

 

[Joylush]

Charitable giving is currently about 7-8% of our budget, but I am unlikely to greatly increase that anytime soon, for that very reason. I grew up poor and have been on my own, without a backstop, since I left home at 18. And we have no children, so we will need to pay for people to do everything for us when we are in our last years. The need will still be there after we're gone, so whatever is left at that point can be used to help meet it.

That’s a great point. I guess you need to look at your whole net worth and hold onto whatever number makes you comfortable. It would be nice to know realistically what those last years with no family could potentially cost just to get and idea if you have it covered so you know what your excess is.

 

[rk911]

...Are there organizations that score charities in this respect?

Charity Navigator
https://www.charitynavigator.org

There are others but we've found this one to be comprehensive. Personally, we donate to charities rated at least 3-stars. CN explains their ratings.

 

[cyber888]

Market tanked today, so I guess you lost that $65K.
But giving to charity, family and friends should not depend on the market.
Maybe you can just 'Do it' and start giving. Once you have given, you should feel better.
If you don't feel comfy giving to any charity, maybe you can start with friends or family who are 'hard up' and need some help.
Sometimes charity starts at home.

 

[rmcelwee]

Market tanked today, so I guess you lost that $65K.
But giving to charity, family and friends should not depend on the market.

I stopped adding up the losses in the accounts today when they hit $100K.

There are seven kids in our extended family with a total age of 120 (youngest is 6 and oldest is 26). We opened a new E-Trade acct today with $12K ($100 for each year) and will add another $100 each year ($700) as a "kid fund". We will invest this money and will distribute it through the years. Hopefully it will grow quickly and we will also add additional funds. We will also start our DAF at the beginning of the year with that $65K.

 

[DrRoy]

You are gaining on it. Keep going. Practice makes perfect.

 

[threegoofs]

Do you remember a particular episode that you think I would enjoy? I read through some of the titles and it seemed like it was kind of like Dave Ramsey (which is entertaining but not really applicable to my situation). I've subscribed to Ramit's YT channel and listen to a few of them. Thanks!

It’s definitely not like Dave Ramsey!

I cant think of specific ones, but look thru the titles - it has people with net worths in the millions who wont go out to dinner, or comparison shop blueberries, or cant bear to go on a vacation.

The ones that sound Ramsey like are the people in serious debt, which are also interesting, but not usually applicable.