I turned down money yesterday

[Markola]

I think I might finally be getting the hang of this lifestyle, but it is a process of letting go. I FIREd in July, thinking “Oh, I’ll probably do some consulting in my field.” In November, I found myself talking to a headhunter for about a week, until I slapped myself straight and bailed. In December, I found myself pitching my consulting idea to someone. Yesterday, they emailed to invite me to send a proposal. I thought about what I most want, called them and said, “No thanks, I’ve changed my mind.” Fortunately, I know this person well and he didn’t act like I was a flake. In fact, he said he and his wife talk about retiring early, too, and he even said, “Congratulations!”

The idea that I’d turn down a bit of easy money in my prior field of 30 years, just because I am now valuing my time more than money and I’ve developed an allergy to obligations, is a real surprise to me! I thought I’d want to keep a hand in things and maintain my network but I can barely stand to look at LinkedIn.

Did you have a process of letting go, trusting the numbers and accepting that you’re FIREd? I think I’m only recently allowing myself to believe it. How did it go for you and when did you accept that you’re done?

 

[pb4uski]

I'm not sure of a processs... though I was very confident that we "had enough" (and still do... if anything it is better).

When I retired from the firm... technically a resignation since I was 6 years short of enough age and years of service to retire under the firm's criteria... some people who I knew well thought that I would be climbing the walls of boredom in a year... and I wasn't convinced that they were wrong.

So I left the door open to doing some consulting work for them. At the same time they were telling me that "we hate to see you go" and "we don't know what we're going to do without you". While I appreciated the nice words, I responded that "you have a lot of really smart people here and what I do isn't rocket science so I think you'll be fine".

At one point I did have some discussion about doing consulting work for my former employer.... but they wanted me to provide services through an intermediary and I wasn't keen on that structure. In the end, I didn't call them and they didn't call me and I am a-ok with that.

 

[W2R]

Did you have a process of letting go, trusting the numbers and accepting that you’re FIREd? I think I’m only recently allowing myself to believe it. How did it go for you and when did you accept that you’re done?

For me it felt like I was jumping out of an airplane with a parachute on my back. I had to have absolute, total faith that I had folded that parachute correctly (planned my retirement income correctly) before I jumped. So I planned and prepared with that in mind, and I knew without a doubt that I was going to retire.

When I made the announcement that I was going to retire, my co-workers and management congratulated me. Then my supervisor said "that's wonderful, but won't you get bored? Maybe you can do a little consulting for us now and then". I smiled and said, "No thanks". Then several different levels of management, through middle management and upper management came to me with the same suggestion. Each level of management would sweeten the pot a little more. "You could work at home, or on a beach! No deadlines!" and that kind of thing. I just kept smiling and saying "no thanks".

I actually told them all (in these words, very clearly and distinctly) that they didn't have sufficient money in the agency's entire budget to pay me what I would require to do any more work for them, even consulting. With a smile on my face, of course. No sense in offending anyone. By the time my last day at work arrived, they had figured out that I actually meant what I said.

So that was that.

 

[braumeister]

Just take it one day at a time. After more than 19 years I still have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. I just know that I'll enjoy it, whatever it is.

 

[jabbahop]

I tried part time consulting for my old firm. The money was VERY good and the work was interesting and not too challenging. The problem was that we didn’t NEED the money. It didn’t make any difference in our lifestyle but having meetings and travel on the calendar did. I remember the sunday dread when looking at the calendar and seeing I had a only a few hours of meetings in the coming week. It was virtually an empty calendar but it wasn’t free and I had to plan around these commitments. When time came to renew, I said thank you buy no. Never had any regrets since.

 

[Golden sunsets]

For me it felt like I was jumping out of an airplane with a parachute on my back. I had to have absolute, total faith that I had folded that parachute correctly (planned my retirement income correctly) before I jumped. So I planned and prepared with that in mind, and I knew without a doubt that I was going to retire.

When I made the announcement that I was going to retire, my co-workers and management congratulated me. Then my supervisor said "that's wonderful, but won't you get bored? Maybe you can do a little consulting for us now and then". I smiled and said, "No thanks". Then several different levels of management, through middle management and upper management came to me with the same suggestion. Each level of management would sweeten the pot a little more. "You could work at home, or on a beach! No deadlines!" and that kind of thing. I just kept smiling and saying "no thanks".

I actually told them all (in these words, very clearly and distinctly) that they didn't have sufficient money in the agency's entire budget to pay me what I would require to do any more work for them, even consulting. With a smile on my face, of course. No sense in offending anyone. By the time my last day at work arrived, they had figured out that I actually meant what I said.

So that was that.

Great story W2R. No OMY for you.

DH, who worked for the Federal Government for most but not all of his career retired on 7-3-2008.....just as the economy was tanking. I had not retired yet, so the deep plunge in our investments was not quite as serious as it might have been. DH did consider going back to his agency. They actually had a program where you could continue at your previous salary level while still collecting your pension and all benefits except further increases to pension (so Health Insurance, 401K, annual leave and sick leave). It was an attractive program, but in the end he decided to stick with full retirement and hasn't looked back. Others at his agency signed up and stayed another 5 years.

 

[Jerry1]

When I left, I left. A number of people said something like “You could do X”. I just kept telling them that if I wanted to work, I’d just stay where I was. It was probably the easiest money I could possibly make. Haven’t regretted the decision at all. Though I will admit, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have done OMY. Then I wake up and bring myself to my senses.

As Markola says, I’ve found myself with an allergy to obligations.

 

[Aerides]

When I left I told everyone who asked, I would never step foot in the building again. In my MC, it was common to see people recycled as contractors, or back as employees.

I also see a lot of threads where ppl say they can do PT consulting to get from, say 95% to 100% in firecalc, but precious few threads where ppl mention they actually end up doing that.

 

[Dtail]

No work for me and no contacts with anyone from any former job and I loved my career.

 

[RobbieB]

I didn't have any problem with getting out and not coming back.

I did get offers, but turned them all down.

Not worth the drive.

 

[friar1610]

I had a feeler from a small firm I had worked for in the past (during the period between retiring from the military and retiring for good). I politely turned them down. I didn’t need the money and knew I would eventually get sucked into more hours than I wanted to work. (And I actually didn’t want to work any hours.)

Fast forward about 15 years...I’ve been volunteering since mid-Feb for a non-profit organization for whom I work about 10-12 hours per week over 2 days at their place and another 8-12 hours per week at home. Although I’ve enjoyed what I do, the arrangement basically stinks and I will be very happy when my commitment ends at the end of April. It’s too much like a job and reinforces my earlier inclination never to do anything that involves a strict schedule and deadlines. Especially for pay.

 

[Markola]

The problem was that we didn’t NEED the money. It didn’t make any difference in our lifestyle but having meetings and travel on the calendar did. I remember the sunday dread when looking at the calendar and seeing I had a only a few hours of meetings in the coming week. It was virtually an empty calendar but it wasn’t free and I had to plan around these commitments.

This.

Unlike many commenters above, we planned for our transition to RE as a dimmer switch versus an on/off switch. However, in reality, that concept became an instant irritant when I left 9 months ago, a source of mental pressure that wouldn’t let me relax into RE. At the same time, spending and taxes started melting away to the point that I can throw the switch, too. Hallelujah!

 

[RetireeRobert]

When I quit at age 54, with my kids then ages 7, 11, and 17, it took me about 20 minutes to adjust. I never looked back and never regretted my decision. I did not apply for actual pension until a bit over two years later. My finances and income now are the best they have ever been.

And all three kids have college degrees (two have master's level, one has even a higher level in her field), all three kids are debt free (no college loans), and I bought each a used car during college, and got each started and funded with Roth IRA accounts.

 

[jldavid47]

When I retired in 2014, I was doing consulting on a telecom project for the previous 5.5 years. About 8 months after I left they contacted me and asked if I would do two training classes for Big Client. When I worked for them, they paid me a bargain-basement rate (which I agreed to because I liked the w*rk and needed the money to finish paying off college expenses). I was lukewarm about the offer, but gave them a flat rate that would value my labor properly. At first they balked and I said "That's my price for the job. Take it or leave it." They took it. I did the w*rk (which included travel to 2 client locations). They screwed around paying me and didn't fork over the dough until I threatened to sue them. That was 6 months after I had done the training.

Was it worth it? I'm not sure, but the extra money eventually did come in handy. Since then I've said "screw it" whenever any potential w*rk came my way. I'm done with all the bu****it surrounding w*rk. That should be your deciding factor if you don't need the money. Do you want to put up with the bu****it just to get paid?

 

[big-papa]

It can even happen before you're retired. I turn 60 this year and plan on pulling the plug arbitrarily in 2 years when daughter graduates college. Arbitrary because she's costing us zippo between her scholarship and the TX Tomorrow fund we bought when she was a year old. Just seems like a good inflection point.

Happy with my work, happy with my boss. Just got a decent raise and another boatload of RSU's.

Then a recruiter contacts me.
First response: No I'm not looking to make a lateral transfer at this point in my career.
Second response: My salary is $30K more than that (Make that $40K after recent raise)
Third response: No, I've spent a lifetime in my career specifically targeting NOT living on the west coast.
Fourth response: Wow, total compensation is $350K but, no, I'm still not going to move to the west coast
We're now on 5th response: "Would you consider working remotely from where you live now?"

Ugg. Yeah, if it was 5 years ago, sure I'd consider it. But we already have "enough" today. I like my company and my co-workers. And while my company is going through the sort of transformation that always comes with a new CEO, I'll weather it. And if I don't, then having the plug pulled for us is OK by me. And waiting that first year for the first things to vest at the new company means I miss out on what's vesting at my current company this year. So, again, no.

It's always several days between my "no" and the next idea. Making me think they either can't find anybody else or somebody there knows me. But I don't see anybody on LinkedIn at that company whom I know. Can't wait to see what the next thing is that I get to say "no" to.

 

[donheff]

I retired 16 years ago and adjusted in zero time. I did a few brief consulting jobs when people who used to work for me and were now working outside government asked me to help. I quickly realized that I didn't enjoy the obligations and I had planned well enough that I was certain I didn't need the extra money. So I dropped those gigs after a couple of months. I then did some volunteer work which was rewarding but interfered with travel so I dropped that after a year. DW went half time for a couple of years and then zero time as soon as she qualified for a quasi retirement program and has never entertained working again.

 

[JoeWras]

It was not a process after I retired.

It was a process before. My process started sometime in 2009 when our boss had nothing but gloom and doom in every meeting. No raises, no bonuses, work longer. Etc. During one such boring meeting, I searched for "Can I retire now" and landed on this site, among others. I read and lurked for a few years and joined in 2012, improving our chances during that time. By 2012, I was pretty much convinced we could go at age 55.

And we did. The process was over. Offers and hints of offers have been made, and DW and I have simply said no to all such offers.

 

[mystang52]

OP, here's a clearer perspective. You didn't turn down money. Rather, you chose not to trade your free time and effort in exchange for money. Getting a coupon in the mail, or your local paper, for something you'd buy anyway is free money; choosing not to use that coupon would be turning down money.

 

[youbet]

The idea that I’d turn down a bit of easy money in my prior field of 30 years, just because I am now valuing my time more than money and I’ve developed an allergy to obligations, is a real surprise to me! I thought I’d want to keep a hand in things and maintain my network but I can barely stand to look at LinkedIn.

The title of this thread is quite misleading. You didn't "turn down money." You decided not to go back to work. I did that too back in 2006 when I got RIF'd from Mega at 58, 4 years before I had planned to retire. Spent a couple of months casually job hunting and crunching my FIRE numbers. When a former work-buddy called and offered me a job at the Mega where he had found employment after the RIF, I thought about it and told him I had decided to permanently remain among the long term unemployed. And so it's been, about 15 years now, and going well.

But, I never thought about it as "turning down money." I thought about it as deciding to not work for earned income anymore. Turning down money would be more like deciding to return a stimulus check to the oh-so-fine government.

JMHO. And, BTW, great decision regardless of what you call it!

 

[Markola]

Just take it one day at a time. After more than 19 years I still have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. I just know that I'll enjoy it, whatever it is.

I am reading, and appreciate, all of the thoughtful responses. There are many accomplished people on the ER Forum and, so far in this string, there’s near unanimity that once people leave their careers, they don’t look back. That’s helpful to hear.

I keep pondering this comment above by braumeister, especially. I think the fact that I decided not to “trade my time and effort for money”, was a bit of a surprising turning point for me toward getting on to braumeister’s daily state, which is more about living life itself than this temporary transition from career to no career.

As I said above, I thought I would need to w*rk in my field, kind of an extended OMY Syndrome. However, I’ve learned since that I don’t.

People here say that the post-career reset commonly takes about 18 - 24 months. By declining the consulting contract, I became aware of a shift in my priorities toward not screwing up my “detox” period by taking on paid work in my old field.

 

[Texas Proud]

One thing that I think happens is the passing of time reduces the thinking of others you left that you were that important to begin with... IOW, they moved on and they are doing fine without you...


Than new people come on etc. etc. and there is no way you are going to get work from your old firm...


So if you want to do consulting, you need to start right away and keep your name out there... which BTW means you are working...

 

[pacergal]

Well, don't be like me!
I have gone back to work limited time every year since retirement--starting year 5 and on 4th time back! Each time they call it's for a special project or training someone, generally easy 1-2 days a week, not great money, but a job I loved for the majority of my career.
2020 was the first year NO Calls, and I loved it!
Now back again, short term, helping with Covid Vaccine clinics--BUT I got my shots first!
However, it is really interfering with my life this time around, so end of April is it--truly, finally!
If you want to go back to work, great. If not, keep saying no.
Retirement really is wonderful!

 

[Nords]

Did you have a process of letting go, trusting the numbers and accepting that you’re FIREd? I think I’m only recently allowing myself to believe it. How did it go for you and when did you accept that you’re done?

For us, it was knowing that we had enough assets and a high-enough FIRECalc success probability. We were comfortable depending on Social Security deposits for any mistakes or apocalyptic recessions. During the first decade of FI (in my 40s), Plan B was getting a part-time job.

I had an offer six months (+ one day) after retiring. I visited the organization and was stoked for about 48 hours, but then I realized that I lacked the commitment and didn't want to deal with the dissatisfiers.

I was also concerned about mission creep:
https://the-military-guide.com/getting-the-job-call/

These days I'm happy doing my own writing at my own pace, and figuring out my limits. Once I determine that I'm working too hard in a particular area, I have no trouble setting boundaries.

Fast forward about 15 years...I’ve been volunteering since mid-Feb for a non-profit organization for whom I work about 10-12 hours per week over 2 days at their place and another 8-12 hours per week at home. Although I’ve enjoyed what I do, the arrangement basically stinks and I will be very happy when my commitment ends at the end of April. It’s too much like a job and reinforces my earlier inclination never to do anything that involves a strict schedule and deadlines. Especially for pay.

Thank you for that update!

I've heard that story from enough different people to believe that I'd feel the same way.

I'd also want 4-5 months per year of unpaid leave for travel...

 

[6miths]

Sometimes I get asked to help with something that I would do for free and they insist that I be paid. Sometimes a little, sometimes more. I don't need the money but I find the tasks stimulating and satisfying so I still do some of them. Often they come with time commitments that may stretch to some uncertain time in the future. At this point I still find the the pros outweigh the cons.

 

[Markola]

Thanks, Nords. I read your article about the Job Call. I can imagine it was an even more compounded decision for you, since you were only in your 40s and the eventual pay for the civilian gig was for up to $90K. Good thing your wife held up such a clear mirror, allowing you to put it behind you, making space to find your way in the new phase.

Similarly, I know at a deep level that I am done with my 28 year career. I’m very grateful for it, don’t take it for granted and I enjoyed many experiences. However, when I think about working more in my field, I feel no joy. Looking back, I started that career as a means to an end. I worked hard, saved and invested, stayed out of debt and earned the ability to retire at 54. The joyful direction now is toward learning new things and building a life that does not revolve around work. Carpe diem!