It's funny joke Thursday! - 2021

[Car-Guy]

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge right into his front yard.
He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving."
"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore."
"You don't need a driver's license anymore?!?"
"That's right... The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license.
I told him 'yes,' and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore.' So I thanked him and left!"

 

[Car-Guy]

Last one for today.

 

[Walt34]

Good neighbors:

 

[NgineER]

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time (it's a zoom gone wrong...)

Love this one - had to share it with my attorney friends...

 

[Love This Community]

Car guy...thanks for putting so many smiles on our faces. You’ve definitely exceeded the requirements of “bringing joy to others”...[emoji16]

 

[Oilcan]

+1 CarGuy

 

[Car-Guy]

^^^^^^
I appreciate all the positive comments (both public and PM's)... I'll try to keep them coming as long as my source keeps up with the newer stuff that I feel can be posted here.... As many as 50% don't pass my filters. So far the mods here have only deleted a couple that I have posted in the past 6 to 8 months so that's not too bad.

 

[38Chevy454]

10 characters

 

[Car-Guy]

"You Can Be THE Man of Your House." Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he strode purposefully into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law'.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You will put on soothing music, wash my back, and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby.
Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your a-- cremated."

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

New Springsteen album line up since his DWI arrest last year!


Born to Rum
Blunder Road
Puking in the Street
Scorn in the USA
Blinded by the Bud Lite
Drinking in the Park
Rosé Liter
My Home Bar
Jungle Juice
Funnel of Love

 

[FIREarly]

+1

hahaha Car-Guy again! I want to say stop it but they're funny... keep it up!

I need to learn how to be more frugal, invest more money towards ER, and join Car-Guy at posting very funny pics randomly throughout the day. It adds an extra smile!

 

[Nemo2]

Memories of Africa trips:

 

[Walt34]

Managers:

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

Might be a good idea.....

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Nemo2]

 

[Car-Guy]

Funny, but true...

 

[Walt34]

The devil made me do it:

 

[Car-Guy]

Another old one, to me anyway... Hope it's new for you.



After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to a therapist for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married, on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[ls99]

A couple of guys had a bad day, report From Cleveland Police:
Responding to a fire alarm at the Courtyard Marriott around 10:30 p.m. Feb. 6, police arrived on the third floor to find an entire room, as well as the hallway, foggy and retaining a smell of burnt marijuana, with the balcony door open as well.
The Euclid man renting the room told police that he had smoked some weed, but that all of the other guests had just left.
He was advised that the hotel was non-smoking, and that even if he were not evicted as a result, the party was over.
Police checked the parking lot and found another Euclid man, 20, waiting for someone coming down from a party, in a car that he unsuccessfully tried to lock and drive off as police spoke to him.
In addition to a suspended license and a felony warrant through the Cuyahoga County Sheriff’s Office, with full extradition papers already prepared for the driver in the parking lot, police also found two semi-automatic handguns in his car outside the hotel.
The Smith & Wesson .22 caliber compact and a Beretta PX4 Storm were both loaded, chambered and ready to fire.
The man was arrested and taken to the Bedford Jail.